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Posts by Gnaight
Name: Giang Trần
Joined: Oct 4, 2021
Last Post: Oct 11, 2021
Threads: 2
Posts: 3  
From: Việt Nam
School: National Economics University

Displayed posts: 5
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Gnaight   
Oct 11, 2021
Writing Feedback / Writing Task 2: Team sports or individual sports. Which is more beneficial? Give your opinion. [2]

Task 2:
Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams, like football, while other people think that taking part in individual sports, like tennis or swimming, is better.


Discuss both views and give your own opinion.



In the era of development, sports are multiform and considered indispensable with enormous benefits to humans. Some people hold the opinion that playing sports in teams brings many advantages to humans' life, while others believe that individual sports are more beneficial than team sports in different aspects. Both views are discussed and my perspective will be proposed later.

For people who approve team sports, it is advantageous in many ways when taking part in sports with teammates. Regularly, players in this kind of sports, like football, are formed in specific roles and trained with different professions; however, in a match, all of them have to collapse and each person needs to express their capability with the common aim of achieving a gold medal. Therefore, establishing a team which includes many players can help them to practice their how to cooperate and control their feelings in order not to put personality above common targets.

In contrast, some people stand in the opposite view that individual sports create more favourable conditions for athletes than letting them play in teams due to the effectiveness of individual coaching. People believe that coaching one by one makes the training process not to be interrupted by many factors, for example, the lateness of teammates. Instead of waiting partners which lead to delay the process, practicing alone helps athletes to save time and focus on the training.

In my opinion, each sport type brings different advantages and both of them are important to humans. Every sport has its own nature, therefore, because of that dissimilarity, people can not put them on the scale of benefit and discuss whether team sports or individual sports are more valuable.

In conclusion, the value of two sport kinds is still controversial when team-sport advocates think that playing sports in teams can be a proper method to connect people while others support sports which are played alone due to the efficiency in practicing. I am in the middle of the scale and believe that each of them has their own role in helping humans.
Gnaight   
Oct 11, 2021
Writing Feedback / Saving our ecosystem not by increasing the price of fuels [5]

I think your essay is totally off topic and the introduction paragraph did not include the topic paraphrase sentence but you just express your opinion. This is not the format of an Ielts writing essay task 2. It can be a deduction when you do the actual test if you still keep this writing style.
Gnaight   
Oct 7, 2021
Writing Feedback / Writing Task 2: Whether cultural traditions are destroyed by turning them into tourist attractions? [4]

@Holt
Thank you for your comment and you help me realize my problems. As you said, I totally focus on Vietnam and it's definitely out of the topic. Besides, the structure I used in my essay is that 1 idea in body 1 and 2 ideas in body 2 with the phrase "it is more convincing to ..." . I think it means I'm in favor of the opinion in body 2? But now, after receiving your feedbacks, I realize that I need to change my writing style. Thank you.

@chantran
Thank you :)) Actually I did give my opinion in the conclusion but I guess it's not really clear so people or examiner can find it hard to catch my idea. I need to make it clear next time. Thank you anyway :))
Gnaight   
Oct 4, 2021
Writing Feedback / Writing Task 2: Whether cultural traditions are destroyed by turning them into tourist attractions? [4]

Topic:
Some people say cultural traditions are destroyed when they are used as money-making attractions aimed at tourists.
Others say this is the only way to save such traditions.

Discuss both views and give your opinion.



Answer:

For thousands of years, cultural traditions have been preserved from the time of founding and defending the country until our developing era. However, conservation of these traditions is controversial whether it is true when using national cultural traditions as a money-making tourist attraction. Some people hold the opinion that it is unethical and this destroys Vietnamese traditions while others believe traditions can be saved by doing this. Both views will be discussed and my perspective will be proposed later.

With the aim of making money by turning traditions into famous destinations, some people disapprove because it can damage these Vietnamese cultural traditions. As soon as it becomes a famous tourist attraction, a huge number of tourists can pay a visit to these places and it can be a disaster if there are many people lacking awareness who throw their rubbish everywhere they go. As a result, the destination will not retain its beauty as the first time people can see as well as its original sanctity.

However, it is more convincing to believe that this development is the only method to conserve these traditions. Firstly, making Vietnamese cultures commercial could be the ideal way to deliver those to the community so that people can enhance their awareness and knowledge about the long-lasting history of Vietnam. Cultural traditions will be passed down from the older generation to the younger generation, that is the full meaning of conservation. Furthermore, this can help cultures of Vietnam to be acknowledged by different countries in the world, which increase the rank of Vietnam in the global tourism map.

In conclusion, although there is still little struggle in the ways of cultural tradition conservation, turning them into tourist attractions can be the best way to preserve Vietnamese cultures and pass down to the younger generation.
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