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Writing Task 2: Whether cultural traditions are destroyed by turning them into tourist attractions?


Gnaight 2 / 3  
Oct 4, 2021   #1
Topic:
Some people say cultural traditions are destroyed when they are used as money-making attractions aimed at tourists.
Others say this is the only way to save such traditions.

Discuss both views and give your opinion.



Answer:

For thousands of years, cultural traditions have been preserved from the time of founding and defending the country until our developing era. However, conservation of these traditions is controversial whether it is true when using national cultural traditions as a money-making tourist attraction. Some people hold the opinion that it is unethical and this destroys Vietnamese traditions while others believe traditions can be saved by doing this. Both views will be discussed and my perspective will be proposed later.

With the aim of making money by turning traditions into famous destinations, some people disapprove because it can damage these Vietnamese cultural traditions. As soon as it becomes a famous tourist attraction, a huge number of tourists can pay a visit to these places and it can be a disaster if there are many people lacking awareness who throw their rubbish everywhere they go. As a result, the destination will not retain its beauty as the first time people can see as well as its original sanctity.

However, it is more convincing to believe that this development is the only method to conserve these traditions. Firstly, making Vietnamese cultures commercial could be the ideal way to deliver those to the community so that people can enhance their awareness and knowledge about the long-lasting history of Vietnam. Cultural traditions will be passed down from the older generation to the younger generation, that is the full meaning of conservation. Furthermore, this can help cultures of Vietnam to be acknowledged by different countries in the world, which increase the rank of Vietnam in the global tourism map.

In conclusion, although there is still little struggle in the ways of cultural tradition conservation, turning them into tourist attractions can be the best way to preserve Vietnamese cultures and pass down to the younger generation.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 11,749 3795  
Oct 7, 2021   #2
Vietnamese

Why did you center on vietnam? That is not the focus of the essay. The discussion focus has changed. This inaccuracy will result in a scoring deduction.

my perspective will be proposed

Give your opinion at once since you are implying the 5 paragraph discussion forumat rather than the 4 paragraph, per public . consideration (a personal opinion for each reason).

Vietnamese cultural traditions

Another incorrect topic reference, another deduction applied. Use a general country reference next time.

making Vietnamese cultures

You have a completely wrong understanding of the original topic as provided.

All task 2 essays do.not have a particular country focus. General discussions should use reasons applicable to any country. You may use your country as a stated example but, it should not be the discussion target.
chantran 4 / 9  
Oct 7, 2021   #3
You haven't given your opinion. It should be right in the opening or in the conclusion. By the way, I really like the style of your writing. It looks like a work of literature :)
OP Gnaight 2 / 3  
Oct 7, 2021   #4
@Holt
Thank you for your comment and you help me realize my problems. As you said, I totally focus on Vietnam and it's definitely out of the topic. Besides, the structure I used in my essay is that 1 idea in body 1 and 2 ideas in body 2 with the phrase "it is more convincing to ..." . I think it means I'm in favor of the opinion in body 2? But now, after receiving your feedbacks, I realize that I need to change my writing style. Thank you.

@chantran
Thank you :)) Actually I did give my opinion in the conclusion but I guess it's not really clear so people or examiner can find it hard to catch my idea. I need to make it clear next time. Thank you anyway :))


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