Undergraduate / "A sense of who you are" - Columbia Application Essay [5]

Write an essay which conveys to the reader a sense of who you are. Possible topics may include, but are not limited to, experiences which have shaped your life, the circumstances of your upbringing, your most meaningful intellectual achievement, the way you see the world-the people in it, events great and small, everyday life-or any personal theme which appeals to your imagination. Please remember that we are concerned not only with the substance of your prose but with your writing style as well. We prefer that you limit yourself to approximately 250-500 words (or 1-2 pages).

I felt more than a little trepidation as I got off the jam-packed train on my first day at elementary school. It was too abrupt a change for me - just the day before, I had been taken to and from a nearby kindergarten by a tiny bus. As I nervously clung on to my mother's hand for comfort, I had no inkling of what this change had in store for me.

Although my parents had their qualms about sending me to a faraway school, I was caught up in my own worries as well. Suddenly forced to travel across several cities on the train to study in a completely alien environment using a language I could speak but was not comfortable with, I had no idea what was what. Needless to say, I was confused and lonely beyond description during the first few weeks. Soon enough, though, I did manage to grow accustomed to my new school life and enjoy it to the fullest, thanks to caring teachers, friendly classmates and, surprisingly, the long commute that my parents initially feared would put a great strain on me.

The train ride to and from school provided me with many benefits. Due to its sheer length - one way would take well over an hour - I had quite a long period of time to spend on a variety of activities. Currently, I often use the time to catch up on sleep or finish off homework. Back then especially, I took the opportunity to read - constantly. It goes without saying that my English abilities improved by leaps and bounds thanks to the hours I spent on the train reading anything from fact books to fantasy novels.

However, the greatest gift that I received from my commute was the chance to make many new connections with people. Not only did I befriend fellow students taking the train, I also became acquainted with the kids traveling to public schools through my Japanese skills. What was more, I began to be greeted periodically by people - people I was positive I had never met before - who would always proudly mention how much I had grown as if they were my relatives. Only later did I learn from my mother that they were fellow commuters who had often seen me travel. Surrounded by many friends and the even the warm gazes of "strangers", the world around me - initially filled with uncertainty - did not seem so large and strange anymore.

People often compare life to a journey. However, most of my life has been a literal journey as well as a metaphorical one. In the twelve years that I have attended my school, the long hours that I spent in transit have left me with much that is to be valued. In addition to many happy and sad memories, they have endowed me with a great spirit of fortitude and perseverance as I rode each day through all weathers merely because I knew I had to. I am sure that this spirit will help me stay on track as I stop by the many stations the railroad of life has to offer me.

Does this meet the prompt, or should I opt for a different topic? Also, if you have any thoughts to share on the overall flow of the essay and the conclusion, please do! I'm getting the feeling that my conclusion is a bit shaky...

Undergraduate / "company's logo" - MIT Application Creativity Short Answer [6]

Tell us about a time you used your creativity. This could be something you made, a project that you led, an idea that you came up with, or pretty much anything else.

I've always thought a logo to be something spontaneous, an unconditional by-product that follows a company's inception and is taken for granted. This misconception changed, however, after taking a desktop publishing class in my sophomore year. One of our harder tasks was to remodel the logo of an existing company such that its qualities would be reflected to consumers more easily. Ironically, this was no easy task as I was assigned to work with a well-known aircraft maker having a very nondescript logo, one I had never seen.

My sail of imagination seemed to be stuck in the middle of a thick fog, with no wind of inspiration to get me out. I aimlessly drew one trite design after another - all of which were consistently rejected - when, perhaps out of desperation, something suddenly clicked.

As I was about to finish what then appeared to be another futile sketch, I found the fog surrounding my mind gradually clearing; the familiar elements that had constituted my early designs began to rearrange themselves into previously unimagined forms. In a sort of frenzy I began combining and rearranging letters, lines and shapes as ideas steadily poured out. By the time I snapped out of my creative trance, I had in front of me a logo which, in my brief stint as a creative designer, remains my proudest work.

Please offer any comments, feedback, or constructive criticism...it's still in its first draft, so I'm sure there's lots to work on. Thanks!