Letters / My answer for the prompt of HSBC MT program. What do you think? [3]

Please state why the career choice you have selected is appropriate for you, why you have selected HSBC and what your career objectives are. (Maximum of 2000 characters or approximately 300 words)Obviously I wrote more than 300 words, any suggestions how to cut it down to 300 words? Thank you so much for your help!! Really appreciated!!

I am a Financial Planning Assistant in Morgan Stanley Smith Barney Institute and I am a graduate of the University of Southern California - Marshall School of Business with an emphasis in Finance. Combined with my educational background and work experience, I found my passion for the banking industry and I have prepared myself with qualifications that are ideally suited to the HSBC Management Associate Programme in commercial banking.

This is a 26-month long programme with associates rotating in different departments during the trainings. Some candidates may see it as a tough and challenging programme where it requires many commitments. However, I treasure this challenge as a great opportunity where I can meet people from different departments, explore organization culture and get in-depth to the commercial banking business. Working in team can be tiring for some people, but I value it differently. By working in a teamwork environment at Morgan Stanley, I have established myself as a self-motivated, fast-paced learner along with multi-tasking and technical skills. I considered myself as a devoted member in my team where I collaborated with various professionals to compose different strategic plans and suggested areas for improvement. Learning is a life-long process, I look forward to find something new from the training and I am confident that I could quickly become a contribute member to the HSBC. This is where I differentiate myself from all other candidates and this reasons me to apply to the programme.

I recognize the products we promote are the means we used to meet client's financial goals. However, the service provided by employees always play a major role to create the link between client relationship and the tools we implement to help them attain their goals. Building trust with clients is the first thing where we can really get to know about them, address their concerns and ultimately create an unforgettable banking experience to clients. I am firmly committed to long-term relationship; I strive to exceed client's expectation and find a way to invest in the future of the relationship. Therefore, I spend great amount of energy learning and exploring each client's goals, values, aspirations and constraints. I believe this input would allow me to work closely with different functions in HSBC and to provide the better services to every client.

HSBC is one of the largest world local's banks with more than a hundred year of experiences in the industry. Being a part of the company could be a dream for many individuals and this is always my honor to work in the organization as a recent college graduate. HSBC is a well-developed organization that would focus more on high quality training to ensure its employees to stay competitive and professional. Therefore, it is no doubts that employees should receive better trainings/supports compared to other firms. I am the person who endeavors for the best and HSBC is a company I would love to work at. Besides, I consider HSBC is where I develop my career, a strong networking of the company would not only show me the door to the world of banking, it also further triggers my potentials and knowledge to a great extent.

Undergraduate / Personal Statement - the definition of an ambitious competitor [5]

My most important trait is also the quality that defines an ambitious competitor. I would rather be a winner than a loser. I dream big, enjoying learning about things that interest me, and I love to win. By dreaming big, I act as if I am an Olympic gold medalist. I am aware of my surroundings; I know what it needs and take steps to making myself the type of person the world would need in the future. My dreams will always be obtained because of my enthusiasm to learn what it takes to obtain them as well as my love of winning. Though I do not have medical knowledge, yet, Biomedical/Biochemistry studies have always interested me and will study them more in college. I am willing to put all of my energy into gaining experience because I do not want people to judge me as a person based on my facial appearance. I have seen many people who like to judge and criticize others by their look. Yet, I do not think we truly know them unless we get to know their personalities. I remember it is just so painful to deal with acne. Thus, I want to attend a university that not only offers me an opportunity to study, but also provides me the chances to pursue my real passion and enjoy my profession later in life. I believe I would be a great dermatologist with a splendid life - a life with a great college education, a guaranteed job, a stable salary, and an ability to help others. Not everyone understands me; yet, they do not have the same approach as I do. I never underestimate the power of my enthusiasm because it is the key to my success.

Maybe i wasn't specific enough... i didn't see my post...
so i might have posted this twice... idkkk

BUT comments and suggestions are all welcome!! :D

Undergraduate / "THE NARRATOR?" - UC Prompts #1 [16]

Prompt 1 Describe the world you come from

no one has proof read this one yet.... thats why i need you guys =)

I have seen many people who like to judge and criticize others by their facial appearances. Yet, I do not think we truly know them unless we get to know their personalities and behaviors. One of the most obnoxious facial problems that teenagers face is acne. Often time, facial acne ruins peoples' confidences and causes physiological problems. Actually, I was no exception to this. I was in the same situation before, and I remember it was just so painful to deal with acne. In school, I showed concerns that people would judge me as a person based on my look. I was too afraid to smile and look others in the eye. With friends, I felt like an outsider whenever they ask to movies or to hang out because I would always say no because I did not want people looking at me and think I did not wash my face. I worried that staying up late would cause my skin to get worse so I would literally go to sleep at 9 p.m. every night. I remember I have literally used every acne product on the shelves but none of it helped. My family would always cheer me up and always tell me "don't let acne lower your self-esteem and throw you into depression, go out more!" I had so many problems and worries in social situations because of acne and it kept me from living my life thoroughly. I felt like a total loser. I thought to myself, I would be a totally different and happier person if I had flawless skin like my friends. Finally, I decided to go to a dermatologist. The dermatologist decided to put me on a medication called Accutane- the strongest acne medication. My facial problem actually came to an end and I have realized that acne is not a permanent problem. In addition, dermatologists play an important role in teenagers' life nowadays because 90% of teenagers have/had suffered from acne. I thought to myself if I could learn more about our skin, I could have actually cured myself and other acne sufferers. I was in the same situation before and I knew how acne could affect a person both physiologically and mentally. I believe that I must acquire more knowledge about our skin before I can actually help others, thus I hope to pursue my career in dermatology.

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My AP lit teacher proof read this.. but i want more opinions =)

Prompt 2 - Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?

"THE NARRATOR?" I said to myself in excitement. Will I able to handle this? If I were an actor getting ready for a performance playing the leading role, I would be happy. The anticipation of the audience and my fellow actors initiated me to walk out onto that stage. Mixed in with the excitement was a fear of failure as inescapable nerves took over. Even if I were the most passionate performer in cast, I felt the same as the rest of the cast - nervous.

Even those who claim they do not get nervous, do. No matter how hard we try, there will always be that voice in our minds questioning and doubting whether we will succeed. Fear had the power to send me out the back door, not thinking about the audience or the other actors. As the narrator, my gut filled with butterflies; I even began to sweat hysterically. What should I do? Do I stay put, paralyzed in fear for the curtain to rise, or should I run? My body stayed in a locked position and I could not think of anything. My mind was empty. What is my first line? Where am I supposed to be? Am I ready for this? Is it too late now? As the curtain rose, the spotlight fell on me, and the audience clapped. The show was ON! My feeling of fear had no option but to leave my body. Swallowing, I tasted the pungent bitterness on my throat - the sign that I was ready. I felt like I could not only pull off narrating the show, but I was now the medium of the show. Now, I just had to release my tensions and just be an excellent narrator.

When it comes to challenges, the human spirit will not fail most time. I am no exception to this. Even though I am nervous that I will embarrass myself in front of others, I push through the challenges with ambitions. I do not quit when things get hard, and I accept challenges thrown my way. Deep down, I know that I must start narrating the show and that not all this work was worth throwing away for a couple of imaginary butterflies. I think it is time to express another side of myself and really show others that I am capable of doing new things. I am glad that my teacher chose me to be the narrator for the performance because that experience helps define me as an individual with a hunger for winning. When I look back on that experience in 8th grade I hardly remember the times when my fear prevented me from achieving goals I longed for; rather, I cherish my 8th grade year as a valued gift I have used for better. Every time I am on stage, I start to remember the hardships I have gone through and realize that overcoming fear enables me to identify my talents and work with them consistently. I know that being a narrator could be challenging and maybe even devastating, - but I made it.

If life is a game, quitting will mean my life is over. The only way to get through and win is to try harder and never give up. I look back at the times I gave up, deeply regretting them every second I remember them and swear never to stop chasing after what I want. Whether it is a 5-hour SAT exam that needs to be done, or a long-term paper that needs to be finished the next day, I will not give up no matter what, until I reach my target. I will not permit myself to lose because a confident person with ambition never loses. My 8th grade performance taught me this.

Italicized = past tense ( what i thought)
normal = present ( what i think)

Thank you!!!! Please make corrections and give suggestions!! =D