Posts by AntherRR [Suspended]

AntherRR

Jun 24, 2023

Writing Feedback / More and more people today are drinking sugar-based drinks. What are the reasons for this? [3]

Your essay is rather good in my opinion! Your essay structure is well developed, having mentioned two main reasons for the overconsumption of sugary drinks and then proposed a solution for each reason, neatly placed in each paragraph. Your introduction and conclusion are rather lacklustre though, so maybe you should consider developing more background statements or trying to expand the sentence in order to improve them. Although that might skyrocket your word count to the 350-400 words domain, so if it does, you might want to only focus on one reason and solution per paragraph in future essays.

AntherRR

Jun 18, 2023

Writing Feedback / Students should be allowed to pursue college for free [3]

There are a few minor errors in your essay, for instance:
"provision of free-of-charge education"-->"the provision"
"their children learning"-->"children's "
"that causes"--->" which"
There is a lack of connectivity in the essay as well, as you stated your complete disagreement in the introduction, but then discussed both the merits and demerits of the problem. Apart from those minor inaccuracies, your essay is rather well-developed and right on point, though it is a few words short of the word quota. Consider changing a little bit in the introduction to match your supporting paragraphs and meet the needed 250 words and I think your essay will be good :D.

AntherRR

Jun 18, 2023

Writing Feedback / Why more and more people are migrating to cities life in search of a better life? [3]

Your essay reached the desirable length because you were able to get right on the topic, so you shouldn't have any problem finishing it under the allocated 40 minutes.

Your lexical resource is impressive as well, as you were always trying to vary your vocabulary to avoid repetition. However, you faced many grammatical errors when paraphrasing, such as "high the cost" ---> "heightened the cost", "allenate"-->"alienate",... There are some errors in number agreement as well, "rural areas<=>provincial towns, ~~public transportations~~-->public transportation. You may also want to focus on only one idea per paragraph, such as in supporting paragraph 2, where you have up to three ideas in one section. Though you manage to keep your essay length, you can refine your essay more if you only need to provide one solution for every problem you discussed, to improve the connectivity of the discussion.

AntherRR

Jun 17, 2023

Writing Feedback / E-books vs traditional books-IELTS Writing Task 2 [6]

While your range of vocabulary and linguistic resources is certainly impressive, I think your word count is relatively high which can hinder your performance if you want to finish it in under 40 minutes. Your introduction is also rather complicated and off-topic as well, so maybe you should consider shortening it. Possibly by deleting this prompt "From the transportation...chatting applications" and simply getting into the topic, probably something like "One of such instant is the rise of..."?

Both of your supporting paragraphs are too long as well, even though you only have around 4 sentences per paragraph, so I think you should filter unnecessary words to lower the average sentence length or just focus on 1 idea in each part.

AntherRR

Jun 7, 2023

Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 2 essay-Advantages and disadvantages of global communication [2]

Writing-IELTS TASK 2
Task:
Some people think that being able to communicate with others online is breaking down geographical barriers and enabling people, who would normally never have the chance to meet, to communicate.

What are the advantages of international communication online? Are there any disadvantages to this?

My work:
Communication has played a critical role in the development of our civilization. As such, the development of this domain in recent decades is highly praised due to the enablement of real-time, worldwide interaction such development provided. However, they do not come without detriments, and the following essay will discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of online communication.

First and foremost, it is undeniable that modern communication technologies have allowed many groundbreaking breakthroughs in recent years. This is because, as mentioned in the task, it has enabled transborder cooperation between various individuals on a global scale through virtual verbal communication. Communication in a community plays a vital role in the advancement of that community by permitting productive usage of every member's abilities, and the enlargement of the scale of transmission to an international level has, in turn, enlarged our community to a global society, authorizing effective utilization of every human beings' talents. Additionally, assistance is also facilitated thanks to communication. The extended reach of communication means we can reach out to each other to find collaboration in order to assist each other, by filling in each other's strengths and weaknesses, and talented, ambitious individuals can set out for aids and opportunities to improve themselves or open their gateways to success. For instance, many residents in my home country often utilize online interaction as a way to practice languages with native speakers and find people with similar interests or to find scholarships and sponsorships by attending interviews with people halfway around the globe.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, online communication also has its fair share of dilemmas. To clarify this point, a characteristic nature of online communication is anonymity. Anonymous communication is the prevalent form of interaction on the internet, which created a perfect habitat for a myriad of people with malicious intentions, also known as scammers. Due to the challenging task of identifying online, people often cannot distinguish the discretion of their subjects, risking the exploitation of their gullibility. Because of the same reason, social civility also experienced a downward trend online, as people wreak havoc and act vulgarly without worries of consequences.

Overall, online communication offers considerable merits to our civilization, while still bringing notable complications. Carefulness should be taken into account when using it.