Unanswered [5] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


More and more people today are drinking sugar-based drinks. What are the reasons for this?



Noubhn 1 / -  
Jun 22, 2023   #1

the consumption of soft drinks has increased



It is true that the use of sugar-based drinks is being used progressively. This can stem from several factors, which calls for possible solutions to be adopted.

There are several reasons to explain why people tend to consume sugary drinks. The first reason is that these drinks contain addictive substances. This can help people fully conscious and avoid mental illnesses such as depression, stress, and others. However, with humans becoming busier with their work, and having fewer worries about their health, a considerable number of people have developed a long-term habit of excessive consumption of sugary beverages. Another reason is that sugar-based drinks are widely available. These drinks can be easily found in many places, including grocery stores, restaurants, and movie theaters. The easy accessibility and constant exposure to these beverages make them a convenient option for quenching their thirst. As a consequence, ordering or buying soft drinks is gradually becoming a natural habit when people feel thirsty, leading to the overconsumption of sugar-sweetened drinks.

Various measures, nevertheless, can be taken to address this issue. The first solution is that consumers should build a healthy diet. They should ignore goods on the shelves in the supermarket and prioritize fresh fruits, lean proteins, and nourishing foods. Moreover, instead of drinking or buying sugary-based drinks, people should raise their awareness of the risk of overconsuming those drinks. The second approach is that the government should publish radical and appropriate policies of minimizing sugar-based drinks. Regulations can be put in place to restrict the mass production containing addictive substances, thereby controlling the market effortlessly. Therefore, the government can reduce the influence of companies' marketing strategies on consumers, and thus decrease the overuse of sugary drinks.

In conclusion, while many reasons can be given to explain the use of soft drinks has increased with no signs of stopping, steps can be taken to improve the situation.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15357  
Jun 23, 2023   #2
The prompt restatement and writer's opinion is lacking in content and substance. You are not properly laying out your discussion parameters in your restatement and opinion presentation. You need to include specifics when mentioning the reasons and solutions. Remember, you are trying to set up the discussion for the reader to understand. Therefore, this paragraph must have substance rather than vague discussion references. Do not tell the reader what you will write about, tell the reader why it is important to write about these things.

In terms of discussions, you are only listing possible reasons and solutions, but not really developing a convincing explanation as to why you believe these are the reasons and why your solutions will be effective. As such, the essay will be scored as under developed by the examiner.
AntherRR 1 / 4  
Jun 24, 2023   #3
Your essay is rather good in my opinion! Your essay structure is well developed, having mentioned two main reasons for the overconsumption of sugary drinks and then proposed a solution for each reason, neatly placed in each paragraph. Your introduction and conclusion are rather lacklustre though, so maybe you should consider developing more background statements or trying to expand the sentence in order to improve them. Although that might skyrocket your word count to the 350-400 words domain, so if it does, you might want to only focus on one reason and solution per paragraph in future essays.


Home / Writing Feedback / More and more people today are drinking sugar-based drinks. What are the reasons for this?
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Need professional help with your assignments? Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳