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Posts by Sakuradesu
Name: My Duyen Hua
Joined: Oct 29, 2023
Last Post: May 4, 2024
Threads: 2
Posts: 4  

From: Vietnam

Displayed posts: 6
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Sakuradesu   
May 4, 2024
Writing Feedback / Imprisonment is the best solution to crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree? [3]

I believe that quality assurance is the factor that went missing in your writing process as you have made numerous grammatical and spelling errors like "the government use", "adantages", "Government and local people may not worried". You might wish to be more attentive to this step if you wish to improve your writing.
Sakuradesu   
May 4, 2024
Writing Feedback / Do you think people in your community are generally happy or unhappy? [3]

You may wish to consider this commonly used structure to improve the organization and quality of your writing:

Introduction (Background information -> Thesis statement: state your standpoints and the layout of your essay)

Body (at least 2 paragraphs: each of them includes: Main idea of your paragraph → supporting ideas elucidating or clarifying your main ideas → an example to strengthen your argument)

Conclusion: summarise your thesis statement -> reassert your standpoint
Sakuradesu   
May 3, 2024
Writing Feedback / IELTS QUESTION: People should only buy locally grown food. To what extent do you agree or disagree? [2]

In recent years, there has been an increase in the proposition that people should just rely on locally sourced food due to its favourable impacts at both individual and societal levels. I, however, could not concur with this perspective due to the following analysis regarding the economic and food safety realms.

It is undeniable that the consumption of foods produced locally can foster the development of the regional economy. Empowered by a dedicated local consumer base, local entrepreneurs can flourish and expand their operations, generating a rise in employment opportunities within the community. This can have a ripple effect in which the spending power of the employed workforce is fueled, ultimately securing the well-being of the domestic economy. Despite this, sole reliance on locally grown foods can put consumers at a financial disadvantage. It can be attributed to the premium prices of these products stemming from small-scale production. This setback is further exacerbated as the weather changes over the course of a year, imposing additional financial strain on low-income households.

Enhanced nutritional value is the second benefit of local food choices. Non-local foods, during transportation over long distances, can be subjected to nutrient depletion because of light-induced chemical reactions. By prioritising locally produced foods, consumers can optimise the nutritional contents of their meals. However, it is also crucial to acknowledge that local foods have a higher potential for food contamination in comparison to their commercially produced equivalents. It is because while large-scale farms usually operate under rigorous quality control procedures, local farmers may lack the capacity to implement similar food safety protocols, increasing the risks of foodborne illnesses to consumers of local foods.

In conclusion, while admitting that local food could offer considerable positive impacts on nutrition and local economic wellness, I contend that the proposition for its sole consumption is flawed due to the aforementioned unfavourable impacts of locally produced foods.
Sakuradesu   
Oct 29, 2023
Writing Feedback / The chart provides information about UK immigration, emigration and net migration; IELTS TASK 1 [2]

International migration in UK



The chart provides information about UK immigration, emigration and net migration between the years of 1990 and 2008.

It can be explicitly observed that while there was an increase in the number of both immigrants and emigrants, the figure for immigration was much more significant over the given period. Net immigration reached its peak in the year 2004.

In 1999, the number of people moving to the UK for inhabitancy was roughly 400,000 compared to nearly 300,000 recorded emigrants. There was a stable rise in immigration, which achieved approximately 600,000 people by 2004. In contrast, immigration initially showed a steady trend before rising to around 380,000 people in 2003.

Net immigration had 200,000 people by 1999 and experienced an inconsiderable change from 1999 to 2003. This figure later peaked with about 250,000 people, which was followed by fluctuations and dropped to around 180,000 people at the end of the period.




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