Posts by jkminor2010

jkminor2010

Dec 31, 2009

Undergraduate / "Preparing to join my fellow polar bears" - Bowdoin supplement [9]

yeah if you limit the polar bear references and work on the ending the you will have a slamming essay
Its really inventive to use the schools mascot in that aspect. and it also shows that you have a deep rooted interest in the school.

Also if any of you could read my Why Vassar Essay it would be greatly appreciated. I want to make sure its good before i send it.

jkminor2010

Dec 31, 2009

Undergraduate / "Preparing to join my fellow polar bears" - Bowdoin supplement [9]

polar bear-sized hunger for knowledge.
As the polar bear president of the NAHS
And I don't really understand this part
He remembered the "Great Crack"; the momentous splitting of the Bowdoin Iceberg when he was but a wee cub of three or four years old. It was all coming back to him. He recollected the time at which the icy ground beneath him had split from his home of Brunswick, Maine, drifted all the way around the tip of South America, and landed on the shores of the Sacramento River. He had finally returned home to his fellow polar bears at Bowdoin. After years of hard academic preparation, he was ready to go back.

jkminor2010

Dec 31, 2009

Undergraduate / "Preparing to join my fellow polar bears" - Bowdoin supplement [9]

It is a good concept but I think you overplay the polar bear aspect too much

jkminor2010

Dec 31, 2009

Undergraduate / fine lines (common app) - pre-deadline stress!! [5]

Try to revise this portion of your essay
Life cannot be lived in the shadow of what comes after it; Death has no meaning that is not derived from life. In Chinese we call it wu ya zui to mention death; "Shush!" my parents say, "Don't be like the boy who cried wolf with your wu ya zui. What if it comes true?" Most people say they do not fear death, yet still uncomfortably avoid mentioning it

The content is good but it takes two reads to understand and no AO is gonna do that so make sure they get it the first time. Try italicizing wu ya zui too.

jkminor2010

Dec 31, 2009

Undergraduate / BROWN WHAT DON"T YOU KNOW:Not Sure Whether I Should Keep Going or Scratch Idea [4]

Thanks so much your critique was really helpful I'm working on it right now!

jkminor2010

Dec 31, 2009

Undergraduate / fine lines (common app) - pre-deadline stress!! [5]

That was a really good essay! You have nothing to worry about. Grammatically you are good as well.

jkminor2010

Dec 31, 2009

Undergraduate / BROWN WHAT DON"T YOU KNOW:Not Sure Whether I Should Keep Going or Scratch Idea [4]

Prompt: French novelist Anatole France wrote: "An education isn't how much you have committed to memory, or even how much you know. It's being able to differentiate between what you do know and what you don't." What don't you know?

I do not know whether or not my children will look at me and see all that I have done everything I can to give them a good life. There is no book in the library that can truly confirm that they will understand how often I think of them in my decision making. I have always known that I wanted to become a father. I also know that unlike my own, I will be there for my children day and night. I will dedicate every ounce of energy to providing a safe home and enjoyable childhood for them. I am only seventeen yet I know that if I have a daughter her name will be Gabriella Isabella Minor and her nickname will be Izzy.

I do not know whether they will like the same books that I did as a child, but I will read to them as often as I can. But I do know they will pick up a book before they ever touch a controller like my mom did for me. I don’t know their mother’s name yet. Yet wherever I am at I keep an eye out for her. My goal as future father is to make sure they know that they were the reason I took risks. I have many fears in life, but I face them because I do not want my children to have the same.

jkminor2010

Dec 30, 2009

Undergraduate / why vassar essay - "My canvas" [16]

I went on the vassar site to check because i'm also applying and they said that the maximum is 2 double spaced pages. Idk why it says 500 characters on the common app

jkminor2010

Dec 29, 2009

Undergraduate / The Tenacious Protest--Common App Essay [17]

You could possibly change this: I became increasingly involved with my Punjabi culture ever since I was twelve years old. My dad had first proposed the idea by saying I should start learning how to write in Punjabi. He did not want me to forget my heritage while adapting into a new one

I began to truly embrace my Punjabi culture at the age of 12. My dad, fearing that I may lose my culture began teaching me to write in Punjabi.

jkminor2010

Dec 24, 2009

Undergraduate / 'Cherishing liberty' - Davidson College Essay- Honor Code [4]

Wow thanks for the feedback. I'm gonna work on that right now.I'm not really that attached to the power of the honor code thing so I can fix that easily

How is this?
But at Davidson the very same phone sits for an hour untouched waiting for its owner to return. This is because every Davidson student has promised not only the school but themselves that they will hold themselves and their classmates to a higher standard.

jkminor2010

Dec 23, 2009

Undergraduate / 'Cherishing liberty' - Davidson College Essay- Honor Code [4]

Davidson Honor Code
Every student shall be honor bound to refrain from cheating (including plagiarism). Every student shall be honor bound to refrain from stealing. Every student shall be honor bound to refrain from lying about college business. Every student shall be honor bound to report immediately all violations of the Honor Code of which the student has first-hand knowledge; failure to do so shall be a violation of the Honor Code. Every student found guilty of a violation shall ordinarily be dismissed from the College. Every member of the college community is expected to be familiar with the operation of the Honor Code.

Davidson Honor Code Essay: The Freedom of Honor

Any fruitful society has laws that all members follow. They live by that law not merely because it has been given to them by their superiors, but because with that law the society will be able to work at optimum efficiency. It is a lot easier to work all day if you know your house will not be robbed. A parent is more willing to send their child off to college if they know that there is a law that the community is bound by. A Davidson student will have a free mind when perusing the shelves of the library when they know their belongings are safe wherever they leave them.

On November 5th I spent a day at Davidson doing an overnight visit. While I was at the Union Cafï filling out my meal ticket I found an iPhone sitting on the counter. I took it to the cashier and she told me that the phone had been there for about an hour. This was shocking to me. An iPhone left for an hour in a busy cafï would easily have been stolen anywhere else. But at Davidson the very same phone sits for an hour untouched waiting for its owner to return. That is the power of an honor code.

The Davidson Honor Code liberates teachers and students from concern because it creates a secure family environment. No one would fear leaving their a wallet around their grandmother. At Davidson no student fears leaving their phone on a lunch counter. No teacher fears leaving an answer sheet on their desk. No student has to take his exams on a regimented schedule, because histeacher doesn't have to monitor them. The Davidson honor code takes the responsibility every student has and places it on a higher tier. If you violate the code you not only offend your fellow student, but the entire community that embraced you as part of it.

To me the Davidson Honor Code is more of a symbol than a guideline. It is a written representation of every Davidson alumni, student, and prospective student. That is a force to large for any student to haphazardly disobey. That is the power of the Honor Code. That is the liberation provided by the Honor Code. With the liberty provided by those six sentences every Davidson student will be free to cherish their education and every other part of their Davidson experience.