Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by Mel77
Joined: Dec 25, 2009
Last Post: Dec 28, 2009
Threads: 3
Posts: 9  

From: Spain

Displayed posts: 12
sort: Latest first   Oldest first  | 
Mel77   
Dec 28, 2009
Undergraduate / LMU critical thinking situation - POKER [4]

Hi guys, i am having trouble with this essay and i need it done before the 31st, so i would appreciate as much advice as possible.

Talk about a situation which demanded critical thinking, and how your choices or decisions integrated character and intelligence.

It's all or nothing. What should I do? I am pretty sure that I have the higher hand but...Is it really worth risking it all? Yes. I'm going to do it.

"All in." Taking a deep breath I gently pushed the towers of chips that I had so carefully organized to the center of the table. The game was between me and James now. Everyone else was out.

My heart was ready to burst. James put his cards down...Two pair.

"Yes, I won! I have three of a kind!"

This was probably one of the most intense moments I had experienced in a long time. Yes, a poker game. I have always loved poker, but had never really played a serious game before. This time, however, we were playing for money. I needed to calculate my every move - each call, check, or fold, by combining my cautious yet assertive nature with my knowledge and analytical skills.

When someone bet high I did not automatically follow without thinking it twice. I studied the grounds: What possible card combinations could he have? Could he have a better hand than me? Does he have a good hand, or is it just a bluff? Whenever I was not sure, I never gambled - just like in real life. Some people might see it as a flaw; not taking risks, but I see it as something necessary to guarantee that things will not get completely out of hand. I explore and make sure that I have a chance of succeeding when I am pursuing a goal. Once I am sure, I attack with assertiveness and perseverance, which I did every time I knew that I would win the hand.

I am also very perceptive, which not many people are aware of. I am good at knowing what someone is feeling or thinking just by observing him. This, I have discovered is a great quality for this game in particular where so much can be deciphered with only a lift of an eyebrow, a grunt, or a sigh from your opponent. I was able to perceive whether I had a chance of winning, or if I had to drop out because someone else had a strong hand.

In addition, I had to maintain my own façade as to not reveal my winning hand. I sighed and leaned back on my chair to make my opponents think I had weak cards when I did not; or I would subtly widen my eyes to suggest that my cards were good even though they were not.

Lastly, I used my confidence. When I know something is right, I go for it.
This time I was lucky. I was given the right cards when I needed them, and was able to use my skills to win. In some ways I have to admit that poker is all about luck. You either get strong cards or you do not, just like in real life. I am sure that I will be dealt many bad hands in my own life, but I know that the key to overcome them is to play my cards right by using my skills and knowledge that I will gain through experience.

Thank you!
Mel77   
Dec 26, 2009
Undergraduate / Caltech - interest, curiosity, or excitement about math, science or engineering. [4]

well, i really think it's a good answer tothe question.
the only suggestions i have is maybe getting some more paragraphs to make the reading lighter and not mention the fact that you've worked with rockets so much. i would mention it once where you talk about how you started it out, but don't mention it anymore in the 3rd and 4th paragraph.

other than that, it pretty good.

would you mind checking mine?
Mel77   
Dec 26, 2009
Undergraduate / Common App:Personal Statement (Am I portraying the right image?) [5]

Well, I really liked the beginning with the shampoo thing - it catches the reader's attention.

Later on, however, I feel that the essay loses strength when you kind of ramble on about how each color is beautiful.
I like how you link your indecision to being able to think things through, but i have the feeling that admission officers might see it as a negative attribute instead. most of the times you will have to make tough decisions between one thing or another. they might get the feeling that you won't be able to cope with it.

anyway, this is just my opinion, so think it through and get some more opinions about it, because others might really like it.

could you read my essay?

good luck!
Mel77   
Dec 25, 2009
Undergraduate / Mom-"things were different when I was your age"; Person with significant influence [10]

well, i like the idea of your grandfather being the person who influenced you even though you were intimidated by him to begin with. even so, i thought it started to drag on in the end. so if i were you i would try to cut it down a little and make it more consice. other thatn that, it was good.

here are a few corrections.

Throughout my entire life my mom used the same expression to get me to do work: "Las cosas eran distintas cuando yo tenistenĂ­a tu edad".

We were here, finally. I searched, with hopedhoping that I would somehow recognize someone, but to no gain.

I was scared, I thoughthought somehow the dead chickens would feel the pain or that the chickens family would come get revenge on me.

Now some may say that it wasn't an appreciateappreciative way to get some quality time with your granddaughter, but I think I learned a lot that day.

I learned that I am much more patient thenthan I thought, that I love to experiment and to take risks and adventures.
It cleaned water, and sent it off to reserves where it would be stored or sent ofto homes.

That was more then 30 years ag ,than thirty years ago and he is still continues to fix it up to this day.
Even at the age of 63 ,sixty-three he wakes up before the sun rises, and takes care of his home, farm and family.

He worked hard his entire life, looking over more then 13 kidsthirteen children at one point.
After that, I decided that if my parents could overcome the great poverty in which they growgrew up I could do the same and more.

HOPE I WAS USEFUL!!
Mel77   
Dec 25, 2009
Undergraduate / JHU Supplement Essay (50 majors across the Art and Sciences schools) [8]

it's actually really good! i love how you started it off with a Mony Python scene (i would have never thought about that), which catches the readers eye immediately. i think that overall you answer the question very well, and i really think that i know the exact reasons whay you chose your major and what you want to do with it, which is what you want.

i'm sorry i don't really have any suggestions to make - i really liked it! :)

GOOD LUCK!
Mel77   
Dec 25, 2009
Undergraduate / STANFORD- Roommate essay (observe the people you hang out with) [7]

thank you for your advice. i'll try to change it as soon as possible. even so, how can i change it so that it doesn't seem as if i'm totally critisizeing my friends without changing the overall idea of the essay?
Mel77   
Dec 25, 2009
Undergraduate / STANFORD- Roommate essay (observe the people you hang out with) [7]

i'm not sure if you can get an idea of who i am as a person by this essay. i would love any suggestions!

Virtually all of Stanford's undergraduates live on campus. What would you want your future roommate to know about you? Tell us something about you that will help your future roommate -- and us -- know you better.

I remember when one of my friends once told me that "To know who you are, observe the people you hang out with; analyze what bothers you about them, and what you like." By doing this, I have a better sense of who I am.

My best friend Vicki, for example, runs late everywhere she goes. If we planned to be somewhere at eight...she will surely be there by nine, which really gets on my nerves. Not only do I need to be punctual, I try to be early. This is something I thought a lot of people did, yet I realized that it is something pretty uncommon, after waiting for my friends to arrive late wherever we had planned to meet, way too many times.

Some of my other friends just go with the flow. No plan on what they are going to do whatsoever. I don't like that. I guess I need things to have a date, a time and a place, or plans end up not happening, which leads to something that I cannot stand: inefficiency. Nevertheless, this does not mean that I would not hop on the subway at the last minute when a friend calls me up on short notice suggesting we go out on the town.

There is, however, one thing that I feel fortunate my friends and I share: loyalty. We are always there for each other, and are non-judgmental of our differences in personality, overall supplementing each other quite well: when one is down, the rest bring him up; extroverts encourage introverts like me to be wilder, or just because each one of us comes from a different place - culture. Some are Spanish; others are British, North American, South American, Senegalese, or even Asian. We all share our experiences and bring great diversity and innovation to the group. Thankfully for me, all of these show signs of a long-lasting friendship, which I consider crucial in life.
Mel77   
Dec 25, 2009
Undergraduate / 'the university needs to fit you' - [Supp. Essay] - Why Chicago? [7]

well, in my opinion you talk about the academic side too much. if i were and admission officer, i would like to see how it the university fits with you as a person.

relate the university with your own personality, since, at least i chose my universities taking into account where i would feels comfortable living for four years. anyway, this is just a suggestion. you might have been attracted only by the academic programs, so that just depends on you.

i also found a few gramatical errors.

I was amazed to read about the school's numerous majors,

also, change this sentence
investigate those topics a lot for the pure joy of learning.
it doesn't sound right, so i would suggest taking out a lot . hope this is usefull.

would you mind checking mine out?

thanks, and good luck!
Mel77   
Dec 25, 2009
Undergraduate / Epistemology- stanford supplement-common app [5]

I actually really enjoyed this essay, although there were a few lines I was not too convinced about.

i think you should take out, or change the sentence about the Stanford's Encyclopedia of Philosophy . even though it might be true, it sounds kind of strange given that you are applying to Stanford.

also, i got the feeling that you were including all girls when talking about how they are attracted to jocks, which isn't always true. the first thing i thought about when i read you essay was... wait a minute! i'm not attracted to jocks and tough guys... so just remember that the admission officer might think the same way.

anyway, overall i really liked your essay; it was very original, and i have very lottle to say about it.
good luck!!

would you mind checking my essay out?? Thank you
Mel77   
Dec 25, 2009
Undergraduate / 'invigorating history' - Stanford (intellectual vitality) - Berlin [7]

Hi, I've been trying to write this essay and I'm not sure if i'm on the right track. I'm having trouble fitting everything that I want to say in the word limit, so feel free to suggest anything that i can take out to put more in. I would appreciate any feedback you could give me!

Here it goes.

Stanford students are widely known to possess a sense of intellectual vitality. Tell us about an idea or an experience you have had that you find intellectually engaging.

My opinion about history changed a year ago during my summer holidays, when I visited Berlin.

I did not find history invigorating before. It was not appealing to me because of the sense that events had happened so long ago they were not important. I used to think history was very slow and ambiguous which I have now discovered is not the case.

In school, I studied the effects of the Soviet control over Berlin, and the devastating outcome that the Berlin Wall had on families and the country as a whole. Even so, I was never really aware of how recent these events were, let alone their social implications.

The city is clearly divided in two, something which I have not seen in any other city. One half is the new, technologically-advanced area, competing with other world powers. The other half is lagging behind, trying to catch-up. Ironically the jump from one half to the other is done simply by crossing a now happy and colorful wall that still reminds the city's residents of the devastating events the city went through, along with the monuments to the victims of the Holocaust, and the run-down buildings which have managed to survive the attacks of the Second World War.

This trip made me see the impacts that a historical event had on Berlin in a way that no history class could have ever shown me, but it also made me discover so much more: I became intrigued and invigorated by each country's history. I did not just climb up the Acropolis, walk into every cathedral in Rome, or trudge up to the top of the Eiffel Tower to say that I had been there. I wanted to explore the history and beliefs of every culture in first person, as I now see that it is essential to learn about the past in order to understand what is going on in the world today.

Please be brutal. Thanks
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳