Undergraduate / Parents / Campus - UCF Admissions essay "bump in the road" [6]

Hi, I am applying to UCF as an undergraduate student for Fall 2010. I am only required to answer 2 questions and these are 2 of the questions i choose.

I noticed that the essay are only supposed to be 500 words long and I went over the requirement. About 300 words longer than it should be. Some where along the essay I probably was just adding things that probably isnt important. So if you can help me make my word count smaller . Please and thank you in advance!

1.If there has been some obstacle or "bump in the road," in your academic or personal life, please explain the circumstances.

Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our life. If we were to go through our life without any obstacles, we would be very naïve to everything that is happening. We would not be as strong as what we could have been. Throughout my whole life, I have learned that obstacles, struggles or a "bump in the road" is things that we just have to go through for us to grow and be a better person. When I was twelve years old I started rebelling against everything and everyone that was part of my life. My parent's relationship had withered away and later separated which was the major affect on me. I love my parents and the family we had together that made it difficult for me to accept and adjust to the circumstances that was happening. My parents were my support and I used their separation as an excuse to not be the great person that I am. As a whole my actions were to protect myself from any more pain and suffering that I had felt I was having. Soon later I was under the influences of alcohol and drugs. I was fighting recklessly for no meaningful reason with many people in school or on the streets. I was constantly harassed and abused by my father's family that said I will never be anything. Everything in between had affected my thoughts about caring for my education in school. My grades started to slip and next thing I knew I was suspended and was on a verge to being expelled from my middle school. Finally resorting to someone I had trust, I realized it was time for me to let go of what I could not control and make a change to fix my life while I still have the chance to. I decided to move from my hometown in Queens, New York and started living with my mother in Florida. This was one of the hardest choices I had made for I had to leave everything I knew and loved in my hometown behind. But since then I have never looked back and I am happy because I am who I am now. This change had helped me stay focus on myself and create the future that I want it to be, not how my family had proposed. From my family and through my own experiences I have learned the importance of overcoming struggles. We all need to struggle and overcome our challenges in life. We will become stronger every time we overcome our challenges. So if you encounter a challenge in your life right now, don't run away from it, face your challenge and develop yourself through the process. As a result, I will continue to help people overcome their struggles within the Central Florida community that I hope I can do as a student in UCF.

3.Why did you choose to apply to UCF?

I choose to apply to UCF because of the well rounded atmosphere the campus is presenting to future students like me. I have met wonderful people that speak highly of UCF and also influenced me to consider UCF as one of my universities that I believe will help me become a great leader and fulfill my expectations in a university. UCF offers everything I need in order to be successful; it has an impressive academic curriculum and the extraordinary environment to top it off. UCF has one of the best anthropology departments that I have learned about and fully supports archeology research which sparks my interest. I consider this university as an opportunity for me in regards to studying, learning and exploring the every aspect of human experiences. I am also fond of the choral department UCF has to offer. Coming from a very diverse high school, UCF supports that environment where I can be exposed to many different students incorporating the use of music of their peoples, times, languages, cultures and traditions. I also admire and applaud to UCF's softball team. They are strong and show great qualities as a team that I hope I can participate in. I like the university's location that which is close to both my family and potential job opportunities. It is located about an hour from my home in Central Florida, a more convenient trip for family members to visit. Throughout my high school years I have excelled in all my academic and elective classes. I participated in many extracurricular activities such as sports, clubs and societies that I have received much recognition for and performed excellent leadership abilities. UCF offers all that I need to continue being active in school. UCF sets the foundation for its students to be the best which is the why I choose to apply to UCF.

Undergraduate / My art works or my through the musically inclined voice, FSU Vires Artes Mores. [9]

I've been working on this essay for a while and I have reached the 500 words limit..

I need a little help on downsizing my essay or at least change it up or something..

My essay is about 515 words or so by the way..

please and thank you..

For almost one hundred years, the Latin words, "Vires, Artes, Mores" have been the guiding philosophy behind Florida State University. Vires signifies strength of all kinds - moral, physical, and intellectual; Artes alludes to the beauty of intellectual pursuits as exemplified in skill, craft, or art; and Mores refers to character, custom, or tradition. Describe how one or more of the values embodied in these concepts are reflected in your life.

These Latin words "Vires, Artes, Mores" define moral strength, beauty of the art, and strength of character. These empowering words are what this university exemplifies. By actively participating and internalizing strong moral character, one would be able to express what this university represents. I feel that I hone those characteristics and that's why I would make an excellent candidate for this university.

"Vires" directly refers to the physical, emotional, and intellectual strengths which are all essential to my life. I believe that emotional strength is most important in an individual because to be able to make decisions without letting our emotions get in the way make for a strong level headed individual. When I was fourteen my parents had gotten a divorce and this had left me devastated. From that moment, every choice that I had to make required an immense amount of emotional and mental strength. I had to make a decision that teenagers my age should never go through, and that was to choose who I was going to live with for the next few years in my life. I had to abandon one of my parents and this was not easy for me.

I felt betrayed by both my parents and yet I still had to choose. I loved them both but in the end, I chose to live with my mother who was currently living away from me. Regardless of all these adverse experiences in my life, I kept an open mind and showed mental and emotional strength, because not only did I experience my parent's divorce, I had also endured the transition of having to move away from everything I felt I considered important in my life; my family and friends. Overall the values of which this Latin word "vires" represent has been reflected in my life now because I can use my past experiences to learn from and help many others that my meet along the way.

Every day we express ourselves by the many talents we have through the beauties and wonders of art. As some people say, beauty is within the eye of the beholder. Beauty comes in many shapes, sizes and forms. We all possess it and I am fortunate enough to have a balanced and structured life. Through experience I have learned many values and talents that I can share with the world. Art is a form of entertainment that I am proud to have such a talent to show off to the world. Being part of my high school choir helped relieve my stress when it came to the divorce. I was able to give joy to others by my singing and gave me joy. Artes is reflected and is a great value in my life.

So that is how I think that Vires and Artes are expressed and shown inside my life, and I would like nothing more than to share it with all the other students in this wonderful university and the people I encounter.