Posts by FakeWingZ
Joined: Dec 28, 2009 |
Last Post: Dec 30, 2009
Threads: 2
Posts: 6
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Displayed posts: 8
Undergraduate /
Caltech - interest, curiosity, or excitement about math, science or engineering. [4]
I really enjoyed your essay! I'm also working on my CalTech essay right now.
One piece of advice I would like to give you is that you should not talk bad about the math and science subjects because keep in mind the people who read your papers are making a living out of these fields and most likely have a passion for them.
so you should change specifically this sentence:
I love everything that most adults I have met claim to be bad at, namely math, science and engineering.
Good Luck! Maybe I'll see you at Caltech if we both get in. =)
Undergraduate /
Upenn Supplement: Bioengineering + EWB [12]
Therefore I find UPpenn a perfect match, for I seek a home away from home, the college of my dreams, a sanctuary of higher learning, and the key to emancipate the full extent of my knowledge.
that line belongs in the paragraph before it instead of the last paragraph.
I am still not simply Common Application ID number ________.
This line is phrased awkwardly. It sounds too passive.
Good Luck in you applications!! It's the final push =)
Undergraduate /
AADP charity - Extracurricular Activity for Common App [4]
In the space provided below, please elaborate on one of your activities (extracurricular, personal activities, or work experience)(150 words or fewer).
Asian American Donor Program (AADP) is a charity organization that matches patients and bone marrow donors. I initially supported office operations such as copying and filing. Later extending my responsibilities to phone duties; putting together donor test kits; making calls to reach out to potential donors; and gathering donors' and patients' information. In supporting the staff at AADP and talking to donors and patients, I got a good understanding of the plight of patients who need bone marrow transplants and the difficulties of locating matching donors. I have learned about those in need of healthcare and the challenges they confronted. With an aging population in the US, I feel healthcare is a good place for me to build my career. Through this and another healthcare internship with the City of Alameda, I got a better perspective about the needs of my community.
Can someone help me edit for content and grammar? Thanks!
Undergraduate /
Cornell Engineering: One of your engineering idea and haw will Cornell help you [6]
i didn't see any real grammar mistake on there. but one thing to keep in mind is that you want to make sure you have your voice in there. i'm not sure if this applies for you but a lot of times people try to force more "advanced" words into their essay to sound smarter but the opposite is the result.
Undergraduate /
"Engineers turn ideas into reality" - Cornell Supplement! [4]
The Descriptin for College of Engineering at Cornell is as follows:
Engineers turn ideas (technical, scientific, mathematical) into reality. Tell us about an engineering idea you have or your interest in engineering. Explain how Cornell Engineering can help you further explore this idea or interest.
I don't know how to start this essay. Can someone give me some ideas on it?
Need Writing or Editing Help?