Undergraduate / "my campaign" - Common Application Essay about Ketchup [6]

its definitely a good essay from the quick glance.
although i was a bit confused with the italics and bar separating the first two paragraphs.

Undergraduate / Poker game - common App essay--risky topic! [7]

cocoons really?
not physics, you're looking for psychology
and what the hell? relative interest. you like it or you don't. be clear when you can. convoluted crap will not earn you brownie points.

poker is a type of gambling. change the wording of one sentence or another so it doesn't sound like you don't know what's going on.

Undergraduate / "I am Chinese. I am Filipino. I am Canadian." - Stanford Roommate Supplement [10]

i like the parallel structure, but its a bit aggressive for my tastes, you want to be inviting towards the person you will be spending the next year with. Don't you?

its definitely interesting, but i would somehow make it warmer

Undergraduate / AP Biology book. I am caught in life, utterly inescapable life - "How did you get Caught" [9]

btw I just found your fatal flaw, so to speak.
you say you are caught, but then you talk about how you feel everyone else thinks knowledge is too finite. If you don't think so, aren't you the exception. so are you caught or not?

basically you are contradicting yourself.

Undergraduate / AP Biology book. I am caught in life, utterly inescapable life - "How did you get Caught" [9]

how do you go from getting ready to lift to reading a bio book? i had to suspend my disbelief there.

Undergraduate / Why Penn Supplemental Essay-------Merging Medicine and Finance at Wharton [6]

as long as you are not rehashing the same story, go ahead and mash em together. This one is more matter of fact, so if your other essay is more narrative-based, on gives a different angle, go for it.

Undergraduate / Why Penn Supplemental Essay-------Merging Medicine and Finance at Wharton [6]

the issue here is that you have two loves, but you don't seem to connect them in any way. It is pretty difficult to major in two non-overlapping fields. How are you different from all the other wishful thinkers out there?

The good thing though is that you seem to know what you're talking about, so making a connection shouldnt be too hard.

Undergraduate / Common App Essay: A Dream with all my Dreams [8]

It's interesting, although I might be cautious since it does seem a bit pretentious. Also, show not tell. You keep talking about I'll do this, I'll do that, but how? and why? give me details.