Undergraduate / a piece of architecture- Sydney Opera House [9]


Kindly refer to the link I posted above. I took a screen capture, because I was afraid posting Wikipedia's sentences would violate the forum's rules. Personally, I believe 'plagiarism' is an ugly word. I always strive to uphold Wikipedia's fundamental principle, no matter which site I'm viewing, to assume good faith (en.wikipedia.org/wiki/WP:AGF), and Sy Bich Hien said, "I just try to do homework ... seriously ... help. " Admittedly, at first, I assumed S.B.H. just typed up sentences from Wikipedia, without citing, and posted it for us to correct. However, while I've probably spent hours sitting through lectures about plagiarism, S.B.H. may not have and was 'seriously' trying to finish an assignment about the S.O.H., a possibly unfamiliar topic.

Wikipedia is a wonderful resource, and if used well, a great starting point for Internet and literary research.


This is why I didn't just post a link to the screen capture and "call it a day." I think sy bich hien did not willingly break any rules. Such a resource as Essay Forum is the perfect place to help S.B.H. with the idiosyncrasies of the English language (and the art of citation!), and I didn't want to deter S.B.H. from it. It's been 5 days since S.B.H.'s last post, so perhaps we can lay this thread to rest until his/her next one.

Addendum: My post is an example of how we are all in the dark in some areas and not others. I don't know which word in "Sy Bich Hien" is the given name or whether it's a boy or girl's name. Sorry about that. :D

Undergraduate / a piece of architecture- Sydney Opera House [9]

FYI: imgur/5cctK.png

I'd like to help you with your own work, so I suggest you start from the beginning. (1) What's the essay prompt? You remarked this is a homework assignment (i.e. not an undergraduate admission essay). (2) What would you like to say about the Sydney Opera House? (Have you been there, perhaps?) (3) Has your teacher asked you to cite sources?

Best of luck for your writing.

Graduate / academic background, interests, study, activities, career plan - SOP [8]

Introduction: Please give credit where it's due for the introductory quotation. Is it by Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.?


I think you need to reword the following sentence:

Undergraduate / University of Florida essay-- my experience in Slovakia [4]


Definitely; you kept your essay focused on a call to service. My favorite part is the first two sentences.

Undergraduate / a piece of architecture- Sydney Opera House [9]

What's the essay prompt? (Unfortunately, this 'essay' seems to have been plagiarized from Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia.)

Undergraduate / Rhodes College Supplement Essay- 'Why Rhodes?' - my dream. [4]


Don't regret it; you're definitely right. My changes were only minute corrections. When I'm unsure of a word, I quickly check it through Merriam-Webster Online (m-w.com). Good luck for when decisions are released (4/1/2010) !

Undergraduate / Georgia Tech Essay "Code and Design" [4]

I'm sorry that your essay wasn't reviewed before yesterday's deadline, but I commend you for conveying your academic interests and goals, while staying under the character limit.


A suggestion for future essays: You switch between "I" and "you" while writing. Has the reader done freelance projects?


Good luck for when decisions are announced (3/15/2010) !

Undergraduate / Rhodes College Supplement Essay- 'Why Rhodes?' - my dream. [4]

I've made several changes; please take a look and see if they're appropriate. Hope this helps!

It is a relatively small 100- acre campus. But this small size allows for a small closely knit close-knit community, in a safe ...

... are only the beginning of my dream.....

... and simultaneously, organizes fun activities like the liquid nitrogen ice- cream party.
... who provides me with first hand firsthand observations about the Honor Code. These are the F f aces of Rhodes.
... from different backgrounds and culturesand yet they are one.

And in my dream, I am one of them....

... and try to develop my own perspective of things(Is "things" the best word to use here?) .

These P p rofessors- they are a dedicated group ...

On Saturdays, I root for my science P p roject in Frazier Jelke Sceince centre Science Centre .

Graduate / Statement of Interest for MSc in Mechanical Engineering [3]

I've made several changes; please take a look and see if they're appropriate. Hope this helps!

In the words of Adlai E. Stevenson II,.Jr-"If we value the pursuit of knowledge, we must be free to follow wherever that search may lead us. The free mind is not a barking dog, to be tethered on a ten-foot chain. ". Growing up in a modest family of four was somewhat challenging, m : M y parents had to engage in lots of activities to provide for the family. I had been motivated to succeed academically ever since my mother used to run ran a restaurant and my father served in the Federal Ministry of Educationa civil servant at the education ministry. Myself and m M y siblings and I assisted our parents in running the restaurant. It was not easy though, but we had to help out, so as to increase the family's earnings. In high school I had strong likeness a passion for mathematics, physics and technical drawing, and when I was about to decide deliberating on my future career, I opted for a mechanical engineering degree at Lagos State University, Nigeria.

Studying mechanical engineering at the undergraduate level exposed me to in- depth engineering principles and its their applications. My forte is in the areas of thermodynamics and fluid mechanics. I was opportuned took an opportunity to undergo a six month internship intern at a manufacturing company in Nigeria and these for six months. This allowed me to put some of my engineering lessons to practice .also I did a project worked on "the design, construction and performance evaluation of a land tilling power cultivator for use in small scale farming" during in my final year. In During this period, I was appointed the chairman of the advisory council of the Mechanical Engineering Students' Association and worked together with other members of the council and executives to run the association effectively. On Upon graduating from the university in April 2007, I joined a computer programming company as a trainee software developer and Linux/Unix operating systems administrator. I was trained for a year on computer programming with Java, C/C++ and the Linux/Unix O o perating systems administrations. I decided to take the this opportunity because of my plans to pursue a graduate degree program in the future and the importance of programming in scientific research. Recently, I have in recent time attended training courses and workshops in plant designs PDMS(Plant Design Management Systems), stress analysis softwarein Caesar II(Ceasar II) and MATLAB so as to foster my scientific and technical skills scientifically and technically.

After my undergraduate degree, I participated in a one-year National Youth Service Corps program in Yobe state, in the North Eastern part of northeastern Nigeria.The program is a compulsory scheme It was compulsory for all Nigerian graduates during this period, . I served as a metal work metalworking instructor in a vocational training center and I organize organized community development services , involvingwhich involves tutorial sclasses, and educational counseling to the village pupils with some of colleagues regularly.

I am confident that I have gained enough knowledge both in and outside the classroom required for graduate studies, and I intend to pursue my master' s degree program in mechanical engineering at your institution witha focus in Thermo-Fluid Sciences .. My research interests in this area are Computational Fluid Dynamics modeling computational fluid dynamics , convective heat transfer and E e nergy conversions.

After completing my master' s degree in these areas or related ones, I intend to pursue my PhD immediately, and afterwards start an active research and teaching career, impacting applying my knowledge for the benefit of humanity. The University of Manitoba is obviously an ivory tower for learning and re search, with the state- of- the- art facilities and highly respected academic tutors ,that the school has, Its that I would receive all necess ary things for actualizing my goals. I am confidentthat, if given a chance to pursue a graduatedegree in my choosen field at m M anitoba, Iwillpositively impact positively to the institution as much as myself.

Good luck!