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Posts by Chillkindacat
Joined: Jan 18, 2010
Last Post: Feb 15, 2010
Threads: 1
Posts: 8  

From: United States

Displayed posts: 9
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Chillkindacat   
Feb 15, 2010
Writing Feedback / Do you agree or disagree? a jury has access to the defendant's past record [5]

In conclusion, I stand for the opinion that the jury should be authorized to fetch the defendant's materials freely, of course, with the prerequisite that they will never leak the individual's any information .

Or maybe --- leak any of the individual's information--? Depending on if you need a word count.
Chillkindacat   
Feb 15, 2010
Writing Feedback / Foster Care definition essay - grammatical assistance requested. [4]

Thanks guys you rock! I may have over done it with the commas, but I tried to add in some. I rarely use them in my writing unless it is an obvious split but my teacher seems to be the comma queen and likes to dock points for every grammitical error even if it was an accident. Oh, isn't college great? So much better the second time around!
Chillkindacat   
Feb 13, 2010
Grammar, Usage / Kevin has a question... What is an essay? [22]

Essays are a source of much stress for myself. I went to school & college and graduated almost 15 years ago. Now, I am back in school and it is very difficult to change the way of writing I grew used to back in my younger years. You see when I was in school writing an essay meant you could add in your personal beliefs and you started the essay with a bunch of mumbo jumbo that had little to do with the paper. Now they have came up with new structures and it leaves me baffled. I can not seem to get a title that has tthe 3 main points and I can't figure out for the life of me how? to get the thesis and the conclusion to have the same ideas without feeling like I am repeating the same old information over and over to the point of annoyance.
Chillkindacat   
Feb 13, 2010
Essays / Homeschooling My daughter Vs. Public School----example essay. [5]

Could you change your title? Maybe say Homeschooling vs. Public School? Not sure what your teacher is looking for but my teacher has a big problem with using first person. If I put "I" in any of my essays I automatically lose points.
Chillkindacat   
Feb 13, 2010
Writing Feedback / Foster Care definition essay - grammatical assistance requested. [4]

My teacher always seems to find a million places to put commas and when I look I wonder if she even knows where the commas go! I know I need to add a few but where? is the problem. Any other assistance would be appreciated. This is a college essay, definition, no sources needed. Thanks in advance!

____________Essay Here_______________________

Foster care, is the temporary placement, of a child outside of the home of the natural parents. Children are placed with a foster family by the state's Child Welfare organization usually due to abuse, neglect, illness, or abandonment or whose parents are unable to fulfill their parenting obligations because of illness, emotional problems or a host of other reasons including adoption. Foster care can be a negative option for many children because they are more likely to get in trouble. They are torn away from everything they know and love and they may have a hard time being placed in a home that suits their needs. Additionally, there is the possibility of the child being wrongfully removed from the home.

Foster care can be helpful in aiding parents get the parental training they need to be better parents. However, this can be detrimental to the child if they remain in care for long periods of time and it also takes a toll on society. Research has discovered that adults and teens that were placed in foster care were more likely to go to prison, become homeless, have a higher rate of teen pregnancy, and receive welfare benefits. Less than half graduate high school than those that were placed back in their biological parents homes. Since the findings of these studies there has been more of a push from the government to place these children back in the homes with their natural parents or with adopted parents as soon as possible. Unfortunately, the push for placement may not be in the child's best interest. If parents are pushed to get their children back within a certain time frame, they may not have ample time to get the treatment they need to be fit parents. On the other hand if parents are not able to complete the classes and treatment required by the courts and child welfare in the time frame given, they may risk losing their child and having them put up for adoption.

Studies have also shown that children that are placed in foster care with their siblings fare better than those who are placed separately. The exact reason for this is unknown but there are many theories that suggest the children do better because they are with someone they know and it still gives the children a sense of home even though they are away from home. Placing siblings together may be a hard task to accomplish for child services due to age gaps, behaviors, types of abuse and the number or sex of siblings. Most foster families have a required age group or "type" of child they will accept, so a child that may have any types of abuse; for example, physical or sexual abuse may have a harder time finding placement than a child who was neglected or has disabilities might. It has also been found that the younger the child is when they are removed; the harder time they will have adjusting to the foster family and with their own family once reunited. The child may never be able to create a secure bond with their parents. It is believed this is why so many children end up having detachment issues and severe emotional turmoil when they reach their teen years.

This brings us to another topic that has created much doubt over whether foster care is in the best interest of the children and that is the possibility of a child being removed in error or when it is not warranted. States have their own guidelines set forth that help them decide if a child should be removed from their home or not. But in certain situations children have been removed with little evidence other than word of mouth from the children or an assumption from a child care provider or a teacher. For example, if a child arrives at school with bruises a teacher asks the child what happened, the child may lie and say the parent injured them. The next step mandated by the school is to inform police and have them evaluated by the school nurse and the police. At times children have lied and felt stuck and feel they have no choice but to continue lying because there is a police officer present and they fear that they will get in trouble. Often times the child is removed immediately after school and any other children in the home are removed while the child welfare agency investigates the claims of abuse which could take weeks or even months.

Foster care was not intended to be an evil factor, but the time a child spends away from their families is a traumatizing time and may leave them with emotional scars that will last forever. The length of care can vary depending on the situations that surround the case details. States claim they are trying to keep children with family members or in the homes more now than they did previously. They are required to make every attempt to keep a child in their homes and not remove them unless there is an extreme risk to the child but in most cases, the child is removed first, then the state decides what they should do with the family.
Chillkindacat   
Jan 23, 2010
Writing Feedback / rejected for Early Action - SHORT AND QUICK EMAIL [9]

I think I would call and see what the schools admin would like the best. We have some schools here where I live that won't look at a paper application unless the person is sitting before them. Others prefer the paper/email apps so they don't have to "waste" time if necessary. -Sorry for the delayed reply! Hope it's not to late!
Chillkindacat   
Jan 18, 2010
Writing Feedback / rejected for Early Action - SHORT AND QUICK EMAIL [9]

Ok I guess I didn't know you were in high school. Maybe as the previous said, bring a new transcript and have them view that along with your application and your letter. But I agree you need to keep your options open if possible. I'm not sure I would email either unless that is their policy. Most reps would rather see you face to face and hear your story vs. read it.

Also, I hope Christopher wasn't stating that I was being insulting because that was not my intention. I have had my own issues with bad health when I was 20 and college myself so I just wanted to make sure you are aware. But I am sorry if it came off that way.
Chillkindacat   
Jan 18, 2010
Writing Feedback / rejected for Early Action - SHORT AND QUICK EMAIL [9]

It is nice but I don't know if the James Madison rep. would care if you had surgery or not. Maybe I am from a tough state? But here they don't seem to care what the issue was. Have you tried talking with your old school to see if you can get back in some how and bring your GPA up again?
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