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Posts by jjinko
Joined: Jan 30, 2010
Last Post: Jun 15, 2010
Threads: 4
Posts: 11  


Displayed posts: 15
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jjinko   
Jun 15, 2010
Scholarship / Testimony and About Me Scholarship Essay [2]

Hello there! This essay is for a scholarship for Christian students. I'm submitting it to two different scholarships. 1: Write a testimony, 2: Write about yourself. Please write comments or suggestions or anything! I will appreciate it very much!

When we face difficulties, most of us tend to let it get to us and start thinking negatively and let it ruin our good day. Well, not me. I grew up in an environment where every minute is to be appreciated and cherished despite the hardships around us. I consider myself blessed to be exposed to many experiences that have helped to shape me as a person. I learned important lessons from the action and integrity of my parents, and they have been a great inspiration for me to value what I have.

I have been living in Puerto Rico since I was five years old. My family came here about fourteen years ago because my parents were sent here to lead the Korean church. Since our arrival, our life has not been easy; but as time went by and we faced more and more difficulties, our faith strengthened.

I came to live in a different environment where I was scorned and not well received because I looked Chinese, moreover, because I couldn't speak their language. I was quiet and easily influenced, so other kids, even adults, took advantage of my cowardliness and ridiculously emulated Chinese people: bowing to me with hands together and speaking gibberish. That always got on my nerves, yet, painfully, I let it go. I knew I was powerless; it was me against everyone else. Throughout the years in school, I learned Spanish and English through hard work. Learning two languages at the same time and being scorned at school was difficult at the point I distanced myself from the people around me. I did not count on anyone, play with anyone, and not even speak to anyone except my closest friends. Not only in school, my family also stood out in public. Sometimes, people tried to be funny and mess with us. But my parents taught us to ignore the unpleasant things around us and focus on what is truly important. As time passed, I began breaking the language barrier and became more accustomed to the culture. I improved step by step with the support and example of my parents. My hard work gave me the confidence to work harder, be social, and cherish. Even in challenging times I overcame the odds.

During my life journey in Puerto Rico, I observed and admired the tenacious quality of my parents. We faced each day with economic difficulties and despite being unfamiliar with the culture and language, they never surrendered. They always made time to teach us about God and study the Bible even though they were very busy people. With the adversity they faced through, I believe my parents exemplified the meaning of a humble heart, transferring its meaning on to us. I helped my parents each weekend to clean the church, which was part of my parent's income to pay me and my brothers' private school tuition and in some occasion, to buy food for the family. My responsibility increased as I got older, and it was easy to lose hope about what the future held. However, later I discovered that the darkness cannot put out the light, it can only make God brighter; that I could use my humble experience to be a more understanding human being for others and help others in need.

Two key rules for all troubles to go away, even if they persist for a long time, are to trust God and leave the circumstances to Him. If He lets something to happen, it's to teach us a valuable lesson that we seem to be missing. In the end, when we wait for God, we're waiting for God's very best; it is bound to happen when we do not give up, and just wait and work harder! I have learned so many things about myself ever since I arrived at Puerto Rico. I consider myself blessed being here, learning the principles of life, rather than living a meaningless life in luxuries. I remembered the lesson to serve others and followed my parents' example: they did not surrender when the situation seemed hopeless. Through this I learned that "winners never quit, and quitters never win" as said by Vince Lombardi. I have applied this lesson throughout my life to solve each problem in adapting to a new environment and doing other task. I highly expect this attitude to help me to overcome those problems I may encounter in the future.

Thank you for reading it!!! Please comment!
jjinko   
Jun 15, 2010
Writing Feedback / Leisure time: spend it outdoors or indoors? [8]

I think adding their is better because there are too much or in the sentence.

Everyone has his or hertheir personal reasons behind spending his or hertheir free time indoors or outdoors.
jjinko   
Feb 11, 2010
Writing Feedback / Issue of local concern - parent-child relationship [4]

Discuss an issue of local concern. Why is this issue important to you? How do you think it should be addressed?

In life, it is a reality that we become what we have been involved with and taught since we were born. The environment we live is crucial the way our way of thinking will develop, and therefore, it will have a great impact on our actions and decisions. Parents play an important role in our lives as our examples and models. From them we learn the basic principles to start our own lives. Nevertheless, it has come to my attention that not all parents are as dedicated as they should be and do not comprehend the importance of their responsibility. As a consequence, we often find misbehaving and disrespectful children.

The kids at my old public school thought it was funny ridiculing me because of my ethnicity. Once, a girl came to me alone and made fun of my eyes and language. Since she was alone, I decided to chase her; when I did she ran to her mother. The moment the mother saw me chasing her daughter, she glared at me; she probably thought I was picking on her. The way she scolded me in front of everyone was traumatizing. I wished to clear the misunderstanding but I was misunderstood once again as a disrespectful child talking back to an adult. My side of the story did not matter.

Ever since third grade, I have been attending a private Christian school called Academia Bautista de Puerto Nuevo. The difference between the two schools I went to was apparent: in this school, there are kind and amiable people surrounding me. As my classmates and I became friends, I eventually met their parents. Surprisingly, they were even kinder to me. I was curious how they knew about me and it turned out that I was the star conversation of their dinner table. The way they treated me normally, like everyone else was shocking; but people respecting and admiring me for who I am left me astonished. It seems that education and guidance determines the character of a person and the way they react and encounter to emotions, changes, and innovations.

There is no perfect way to raise a child, but there is a proper way. A parent should raise a child in their own rightful ways so they may reflect and respect good values. They must put effort into it because children are our future and an image themselves to the after generations. I do not wish for other people to experience what I did, which is very common; especially when out of ignorance children deride their elders, teachers and/or people in charge, and sick and different people. I believe this moral problem could be relieved and worked in properly if parents would take conscience in the development of their children' attitude. Also, they should be aware of what are their child's points of view, role models, and most important, influence. Ways to improve this parent-child relationship is to make time to spend with each other, attend parental conferences, seek the help of their school's counselor, and advice other parents as well on this matter.

Please help! i think this essay can be improved but cant pinpoint what
word corrections, vocabulary and sentence improvement, etc will be appreciated!
Thank you very much!!!

jjinko   
Feb 11, 2010
Writing Feedback / the effects of stress (cause and effect paper) [11]

I would start with my own definition and understanding of what is stress and the cause and effect of stress.
Write the body about you own experience.
In the conclusion, you should put your opinion about it and how you think it should be addressed.
jjinko   
Feb 1, 2010
Undergraduate / Great interest into helping people, especially children, University of Michigan [8]

Since I was little, I showed a great interest into helping people, especially children. Everything about children captivates me. Their childish voice and actions, their innocent ways, and their smile. I consider children as cute little brothers and sisters with great potentials and hope to our future.

[b]READ ABOVE/b]

So is this better?
Please tell me your opinions
and im not a vocabulary expert so i will appreciate very much the corrections...etc
Help as soon as possible! NEED TO SUBMIT TONIGHT!!

jjinko   
Feb 1, 2010
Undergraduate / Great interest into helping people, especially children, University of Michigan [8]

SHORT ANSWER QUESTION (Approximately 250 words)
What led you to choose the area(s) of academic interest that you have listed in your application to the University of Michigan? If you are undecided, what areas are you most interested in, and why?


Since I was little, I showed a great interest into helping people, especially children. Everything about children captivates me. Their childish voice and actions, their innocent ways, and their smile. I consider children as cute little brothers and sisters with great potentials and hope to our future.

My first experience with a child was a two year old boy named Joshua. His family were members of our church so we met a lot and we often visited each other's house. Joshua was the only child so he was happy whenever he saw us. My family adored the curious little Joshua, who repeated everything we said with a question mark at the end. I especially liked playing with him and teaching him at the same time what to do and not to do. Sometimes I babysat him, which was the first huge responsibility ever given to me. I didn't always understand him and honestly, it wasn't always fun. But babysitting Joshua broadened my understandings about children. My main one is that children have little knowledge, therefore, they don't know how to express in a way we can understand. In order to understand them, we need to observe and listen to them carefully.

I chose pediatrics because I wish to work with children, but there is something more than that. Mathematics have always been an excitement for me. When I first took chemistry class in eleventh grade I was surprised how much I liked it; even though the grade had not reached my expectations. Solving mathematical problems, doing research, performing experiments, learning new things and the challenges were all interesting and exciting. It all widened my perspective of the world.

In our everyday life we work hard to improve our country and our planet, but everything is meaningless if we don't educate and raise our next generation properly. We are all teachers and parent figures with a special job to take care of them, guide them, and love them. My experience with Joshua and the challenges in chemistry made me strong, disciplined, determined, and willing to take any challenge and opportunity in my way and make of it an experience that will significantly contribute to my development as a person and as a professional.

Is it possible to help me with this for today?
Please, the deadline is today.
I will appreciate it very very much!
Any corrections or comments also!
btw i know the 2nd and 3rd paragraph needs special attention....

jjinko   
Jan 31, 2010
Poetry / Poetry on Parents and Immigration [4]

your style is definitely unique
i liked the poem
some verses i believe it can be improved
but other than that, PERFECT
jjinko   
Jan 31, 2010
Writing Feedback / Trying to be "Little Miss Perfect" - Can someone give me feedback on this essay [3]

i like the essay
it shows me that you went through a lot
and you never gave up and moved on
there's nothing wrong with trying to be perfect
trying to reach perfection means improving ourselves
trying to be TOO perfect is the problem
but it needs lots of corrections
like WOMAN not women
jjinko   
Jan 30, 2010
Undergraduate / "I lived in Puerto Rico" - University of Muchigan - My experience of diversity [5]

SHORT ANSWER QUESTION (APPROXIMATELY 250 WORDS)
"We know that diversity makes us a better university - better for learning, for teaching, and for conducting research."
Share an experience through which you have gained respect for intellectual, social, or cultural differences. Comment on how your personal experiences and achievements would contribute to the diversity of the University of Michigan.

I lived in Puerto Rico since I was five years old. When I first came here I didn't think it was bad until I went to a public school in Eleanor Roosevelt in Hato Rey. Everyone who saw me assumed I was Chinese and harassed me. I was a quiet girl that didn't want to be involved in troubles; so children, even adults, took advantage of my cowardliness and ridiculously emulated Chinese people: bowing to me with hands together and speaking gibberish. It always got on my nerves, but, painfully, I let it go. I knew I could do nothing; it was me against everyone. I thank God very much because later, someone became my friend and she did so much just by staying by my side. Thanks to her, gradually, my classmates and I began to get along.

I am from South Korea and I'm proud of it. Be it not for that girl, I would've closed my heart to these people and myself. My parents were very upset when they realized what I went through, but I thanked them for bringing me here. Although my time in this school was painful, it was also fun and I learned valuable lessons that shaped me to the person I am today. My three years in that school taught me to be wise, patient, brave, a good friend, a person of endurance, and most importantly, it taught me to respect people's differences. Truly, I am grateful to God for giving me the privilege of experiencing all this while I was still young. Nowadays, I am considered to be one of the most intellectual student at the school, my culture is respected and admired by many, and last but not least, I am loved and appreciated.

I believe my experiences and achievements will enable me to bring success to the field that makes the University of Michigan a better university. Diversity, to me, means people's uniqueness. I believe as we grow unique, we learn to respect the uniqueness of others. I look forward to meeting different people, learn from them and display my own differences, with hoping that I can be the light that others can come to with their ideas, visions and dreams, never doubting that blending my talents with those of others can change the world.
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