Posts by BORE

BORE

Feb 25, 2010

Poetry / Painting colours of love - Poetry Writing [3]

ah i like your comment saying that poets takes a lifetime to edit their poems.i dont finish editing my poems and i was thinking that somehing is not right about me.i have been reading SOME NOTES ON POETRY WRITNG TIPS,it say to have a nice piece write a single idea in 1 poem.

ihave been editing this since last week and i not sure if it is ok"

colours of love

traces of loneliness
painting sadness that fades
colures of love
longing for the smoot tuoch
of warm hands'
handsome you stayed far
faraway you are
yet close to my breath
drowning me in loneliness
and the desire rising
tinkling all the passion
I have
love so strong and patient
painting
colours of love

u wont believe that i edited it again while i was typing it
pls tell me how it is

BORE

Feb 20, 2010

Writing Feedback / Essay on describing MY REGULAR WALK [7]

hi
you were comin ok with the 1st paragraph when describing what you see but u said a liitle about what you are thinkin about ,elaborate a bit on that ;own the essay surely much is happening in your mind when you walk alone.try to say something about those people u meet what you think about them.

BORE

Feb 20, 2010

Poetry / Poem on 5 senses (dream theme) [11]

it is not bad but everything is out ,try to find words that will make it a deeper meaning .i dont feel that line "the smell of money ,try to find rewards of siccess rather than money ,it will sound more appealing.nice try though!

BORE

Feb 19, 2010

Graduate / "becoming a successful entrepreneur" - MBA SOP-Rutgers [6]

wow!
you have been very fortunate with the inspirations you had.mostly i like your writting.you have placed you story chronologically well.any one can enjoy you writing without struggling with difficult words.im also interested in the marketing industry then this was an inpiration.

BORE

Feb 16, 2010

Poetry / "What You Should Have Given Me" [3]

hmm this is tight,the use of words is intruguing.the message is deep yet bright like that diamond.question are u ready for it,when it can be given 2 u.lol!

BORE

Feb 16, 2010

Undergraduate / an aspiring student, Why are you considering Stony Brook University? [4]

i dont knw much about that univesity,what i can say to u is that u ar on the right track ,dont loose it.is not about the university;is all about ur attitude towards ur success .if u want to acheive a lot let it not be the university but u as a person and a reason of achievement.wish u good luck

BORE

Feb 9, 2010

Poetry / 6,142 Feet - a poem of less than 8 lines that "best represents me" [9]

it is a nice poem but i dont feel it presenting yyou .is more of a an experirence you've gone through .if you are not looking for deeper meaning then ,is nic to read

BORE

Feb 9, 2010

Poetry / analyse this poem -- walking in cluster of clouds [4]

thanx i will restructure it ,next time u will feel it .

BORE

Feb 9, 2010

Writing Feedback / 'no control' - The mass media and their influence on people's ideas [7]

hmm! not bad for a bigginer ,but i think you only concertrated on the image the media potrays,check things like attitude of people on culture and the new culture .

BORE

Feb 9, 2010

Poetry / analyse this poem -- walking in cluster of clouds [4]

love
walking in cluster of clouds
shinning blue stars
twinkled ,glitered in your heart
love sprinkled diamond dust
strolling in sparks of the night
love in stolen haerts.

im just a new writer,please comment and critisize my piece so i could sharpen my writng skills.