Writing Feedback / The story of "Hunters In The Snow" - an essay on arguing from experience [NEW]

Hi,

I am trying to figure out if I am on the right path with this paper.. Writing is not my strong point..

These are the objectives:

To argue a clear position on a complex issue addressed in a work of literature.
To integrate reasonable and varying evidence from experience, knowledge, and the reading selection.
To write an essay that is thoroughly developed and logically organized.
To use quotations from the literature effectively and properly; this includes citing the quotations and typing a Works Cited page.
To achieve a tone that is both personable and academic.
To utilize the writing process - inventing, writing, revising, and editing - from start to finish.
I have chosen to do the story of Hunters In The Snow. The author of this story, Tobias Wolff, was born in 1945 and has written many stories including this one. The story I am covering includes three friends that are going hunting on a snowy day. This paper will include certain areas of the friendship that could have been handled different, state how my life and other lives that I have witnessed co-assist.

In the story, Tub starts off in a bad mood. I believe it is due to the coldness and the snowy weather. At other times Frank has his own attitude too. I did like how Frank told Tub "If you want to piss and moan all day you might as well go home and bitch at you kids. Take your pick." I always believe that we wake up each day and we get to choose our own attitudes. How hard is it to go through life with this mindset and just tell ourselves that today is going to be a good day? Even if one has tests for the day, why can't someone just overlook that test and state that it is just something that happened and I am not going to let it bother my day. Sure I have my bad days but I can only learn from the mistakes or tests that I have been put through, but I know that I cannot go back in time to change any decisions that have been made. I know that I am going to go through life not always making the best choices, but I will definitely learn from it so that it does not happen again. Choosing one's attitude or learning from the mistakes, can only make us live life to it's fullest. I feel that these three men could have done that to start their day and it would have been a better outcome. Maybe Tub could have caught his deer that he has done every year since he was fifteen years old.

As stated above, I have gone through life with making it full and not pondering the past. Sure I have friends that try to either bring me down or try to test our friendship as Tub, Frank, and Kenny did on the snowy day. I can either pay more attention to what that friend is to me and outweigh what they are in my life or I could just fire back at them with the same attitude and may lose a friend. I just do not see why someone would have to nag at another person. That brings resentment and a defensive mindset to the one that receives the nagging. I see this throughout the story. I understand that we all do not listen at times but after reading situations on the internet or watching television, if one would just tell them in a conversational voice then we would get it through our thick skull what we are doing wrong or what changes could be made. I believe friends are a dime a dozen. You have your close friends or you have your friends that you associate with only at certain times (i.e. work, church, school, etc.). Going through life individuals are going to be gaining different friends as well losing some of our old friends. We do not want to ever lose our friends because of nagging or pondering on issues that we cannot go back and change.

By the end of the story, each character was getting along with one another. They were opening up with one another. When Frank told Tub "I think I am going to be leaving Nancy." Tub and Frank were able to hold a very meaningful conversation. Tub was even there for him on his thoughts, giving him feedback. As this story goes on, one starts to notice that the friendship is becoming stronger and stronger. If we could only take this into our personal life whether it is our spouse, family member, or friend. If one has lost their contact with any of them, they can easily be asked "how is life" or "can I help with anything?" You never know that you may be the thing that they needed for that day or that time in their life. Why do we not do this on a common ground? Is it because we are scared what that could put us through in life? Are we too busy in our own life to notice others in our life? We need to take that chance if we really care for that person.

After reading this story, it makes me think more of what we have in our life. Kenny did not know that he was going to be shot that day. It leads us to believe that Kenny lived his last day with two friends that started the day off shaky but ended by helping a friend in need. What is interesting is that they all were in need of help from each other. We have one life to live and during this life we will make mistakes. I believe we need to live this life to the fullest. It will pass us by too quickly and you definitely do not want to go through that time, wish I did this or should not have done that or could have done this. That is one reason I went back to school. I feel that I want to improve my life and help others that are in need. But in the same hand I want to make sure that I am covering all of my basis in my life to make sure that I am making the proper choices and not regret anything at a later time.

Writing Feedback / Initial Assessment Essay on the "The Story of an Hour" [4]

Initial Assessment Essay: On the "The Story of an Hour"

Are the differences from the late 1800's and the early 1900's and today really all that different? The difference between then and now is that we as a society do not look at divorce as a negative thing just a part of life. In the late 1800's and the early 1900's divorce was not an option and they just lived with the marriage the way it was.

Mrs. Mallard was in a situation where she was not happy with her marriage and she disliked her husband. Her initial response to the information of her husband's death she was upset and then she shortly reacted differently when she realized she was free. Is this karma that she was mentioning? Was it that she finally was showing her true feeling over what she believed with her husband but she was the one that paid the consequence of life?

Back when this story was written, the information that I was told by my elders is that divorce was not an option back then. I understand that when someone gets married, you truly love your other half. But what if there is that certain instance that you fall out of love or there is that change on the person that you once married. Back then most would just live with it. In today, most will just end the marriage.

Today's divorce rate is higher than it has ever been. Most divorces are filed due to financial issues, adultery, abuse, as well as other reasons. For as today, there are a lot of financial issues. Our economy is not real hot right now and can cause a lot of grief on a marriage. You hear something like Alex Rodriguez, 3rd basemen for New York Yankees, which has committed adultery with Madonna and is now getting a divorce from his wife. Then, you have those husbands or some wives that become abusive. Abuse could be mental or physical. But all these have led to divorce.

-Then you have death. When someone loses their partner in life, most will grieve. As the story mentions, it makes me wonder if she was one that would have or already had someone else in mind that she wanted to be with. Some that lose their husband or wife will get remarried right away. Is this because they cannot fathom to be alone or is there someone else that they wanted to be with and now that they are free then they can take that opportunity, if available.

I just know how marriage or death was handled back in the late 1800's, early 1900's, is different than how it is handled or dealt with today. Today marriage can be ended in just a simple fight. Death can be more of a joy rather than heartbreak. All I know is that we do have one life to live but life brings challenges and you cannot give up on just something that challenges that path on a simple basis.

Writing Feedback / A True Soccer Mom. There are many ways to learn, improve and fail at something. [5]

Please help this is just the start of my paper I still need to finish the closing, but I am having a problem doing that this paper just isn't flowing and isn't making a lot of sense to me right now. I also need help with the Thesis I can't figure out how I want to word it... I know what I want to say it just sound right in the writing. Please help if ya can... Thanks....

Here is the final draft.
A True Soccer Mom

Someone may ask how they would feel playing a sport or even coaching a sport they know nothing about. There are many ways to learn or improve on something, and then there are many ways to fail at something.

A daughter comes to her mother and asks to start playing soccer for a real team that includes practices and games. The mother goes to the athletic location to sign her daughter up for soccer. A week later the mother receives a call to educate her that her daughter has a team but there is no coach. The athletic association asks the mother if she would like to be coach for the team. The mother lets the representative know that she does not know anything about soccer so she would not know where to start nor ways of coaching a team of eight girls to play. She does tell the athletic association that she would be willing to assist where needed, but if a coach could be found that would be appreciated. The next night she was contacted by a man that stated that he would be the one coaching the team but needed an assistant coach to help in other areas. Nervously, the mother decides to help

The soccer season begins and the girls have their first practice. The parents and the girls got to meet the coach at the soccer field. The mother that volunteered to help coach learns her duties in the season, these included contacting the parents to organize a list for after game snacks, ordering jerseys, and then contacting a company to take team pictures. This became overwhelming for the mother that did not know anything about being one in charge of a soccer team or in this case, an assistant to the team.

During the soccer season the girls learn from someone that knows about the sport and improve as the season goes on. The list has been made up for after game snacks, along with the pictures getting taken before one of the games. The season is almost over the last thing that this mother had to do was get trophies for all the girls that would be handed out at the end of the last game. After all the trophies have been handed out, the team learns that their coach will not be back for the next season. The mother and another mother of a player on the team decide that they will coach the team next season.

Now the next season starts and she is having to accomplish both tasks, which does include help from another mother, but really she is doing all the work with just an assistant on hand. She has to order jerseys for the next season, contact all the parents about doing a list of snacks for after the game, and coach the team during practices and games. The first game comes and she is having to substitute one girl to go in and has another come out. All that she knows at this point is not to touch the ball with their hands, try to kick the ball in the opposite goal, and not let the other team score in their goal. Sometimes she is learning from the referee what is and is not allowed. The team has not won a game in the second season, but she does know that the girls are having fun.

With this all said, the mother feels the girls are having fun, but not acquiring any serious, long-term soccer skills. The mother, or coach in this case, is doing her best to make this a worthwhile experience for the girls; she hopes that in the near future they can have a more experienced coach to help propel them to success in the sport they so dearly love.

Essays / Starting my cause and effect essay about women delaying having children [8]

I have my thesis statement already, but I am stuck and don't know how to start from there

Thesis Statement:

Some women delay having children because of how long it takes to find the ideal mate, while others have children later in life because they want to accomplish career objectives and financial stability first.