Writing Feedback / IELTS: Advertising tempts people to buy things irrespective of their real needs;Agree [4]

Hi all,
Please check my writing and give your valuable feedbacks.

Question: The high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Anwser:

I would agree that advertising has had a great impact on the increasing sales of any promoted product. Consumers seem to be urged to buy cheap, discounted but unnecessary goods which are frequently advertised on television or other types of media.

One of the reasons for this prompt responding to advertisements is that products advertised look too appealing for consumers to deny a deal. It is obviously seen that there would be a long queue of ladies, early in the morning, standing in front of a shops if yesterday they received the information that "the early birds will get a fridge at one dollar". They are pulled to come not only to be the winners of that extremely cheap deal, but also the shoppers of other items displayed in the shops. Any of them really need another fridge if they already had one at home?

In addition, advertisers really know how to play magic to their advertisements by providing so attractive and effective slogans that potential customers could easily be influenced. They are probably willing to spend a few thousand dollars to buy a vacuum machine if it is said to prove their wealth, high standard of living or royal lifestyles as slogans broadcasted.

However, a majority of the up-sales products purchased today is because there are really necessary needs from buyers. Also, consumers are increasingly aware of how to spend their budgets efficiently. The high sales should not be always mirror the power of advertising as a result.

In conclusion, there is advantageous for sellers to up-sales products through advertising, but the overwhelming of advertisements should be controlled by authorised organisations for the consumers' rights.

Writing Feedback / Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of travel or work after high school. [3]

Hi all,

Please help me to correct my essay:

Question:In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies.
Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

My anwser:

Young people of today have plenty of freedom to decide on their own to some situations in life. One of these circumstances is whether they should take a year break for travel or work after finishing high school and before starting off the university studies. However, there are the advantages and disadvantages of these activities that students should consider.

The first advantage is that students can be benefit from precious experiences through travelling and working. For example, when travelling to a new country, they probably encounter real situations of speaking a second language, which will enhance their language skills and knowledge of cultural behaviours of people in that country. Similarly, the experience on how to solve problem, organise tasks and handle conflicts that students attained through working are very useful as well. Thus, fresh graduates with the above experiences will be more easily employed than ones who are really fresh - neither excellent communication nor working experiences. The second advantage is that students are getting more independent in terms of personality and finance. While travelling students have to look after themselves; what food to eat, where to stay, what time to sleep and so on are no longer their parents' great attentions but of their own. Moreover, students who work can save up money for their further study, and are less financially dependent on parents.

There are two disadvantages on the other hand. First, graduation from the university will be delayed; by and large, students may not keep pace with their peers. This is because they postpone studying for one year while their friends can learn a lot of professional skills during this time in the university. Subsequently, the earlier graduates have more opportunities to earn faster. Second, attitudes toward the higher education will be affected. One of the reasons is that high school students, who experienced working, moving around the world may feel more motivated to earn money, interact with people than to acquire the higher professional knowledge. This attitude may stop them from attending universities, which will affect the median level of literacy in their country if a large amount of this group occurs.

In conclusion, I believe students should consider both the beneficial and the unbeneficial sides of working and travelling prior to have decision of saving a year for these purposes.

Writing Feedback / Essay for IETLS: Natural Talents and Trained Talents. Dicuss. [2]

Hi editor,

I am a very new member of this forum.
Please help me to post the comment for the below essay.

Question:
It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

My answer:
Talents are those who attain a certain exceptional skill that others cannot be compared to. What attributes to become talents has been discussed by many people. It is believed by some that several people are naturally born a talent of music or sport. Some other, on the other hand, claim that any child can be trained to be the talented sports person or musician.

Traditionally, many educational institutes have been established by basing on the needs of society and of parents, and on what children are expected to become in the future. For example, sports school is to train the future excellent sports persons; art schools are for movie stars, singers and musicians or artist of the years ahead. It is subsequently understandable for some who believe that talents can be trained to be. In reality, there are many good examples of people from zero, but through the sustainable training process, to become the success story in sport or artist history.

People who were born talented probably inherit from parents' or ancestor's prominent genes. This special natural skill is unique, and it is hardly found in someone who is by training process to get talented. It can be understood that when a child of a well-known musician were born, he would possibly possess the innate ability for improvisation. Mozart, music composer of every time, was a very good example for this extraordinary.

I believe that talents can be taught. It is because with continuing training, efforts in conjunction with desires for a certain skill, either on sport or art, any one of us certainly will be excel in this area. Conversely, a person with "God bless" ability which is not under an appropriate training process could not go any further mile. However, it would make perfect and phenomenal if persons with special talent are well trained.