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Posts by karlayad
Joined: Sep 13, 2010
Last Post: Sep 19, 2010
Threads: 3
Posts: 8  

From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 11
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karlayad   
Sep 18, 2010
Undergraduate / "The results for HIV are positive" - Issue of importance essay [5]

She can still hear the baby crying. Two hours of sleep, school in three and a research paper due in five more. She has yet to finish the rest of her homework and the baby has yet to stop crying. Five more minutes of sleep dreaming about the crying baby, the dirty dippers, and the mess of baby food; she think is all a bad dream. The baby daddy is out and about with zero responsibilities and her friends preparing for out of state college. "Wake up", she hears. Is her mother, "Baby Jayden is hungry and you have to get ready for school." Her breasts are sore, her head is pumping, and the baby is still crying. She wakes up, breast feeds, showers, and off to high school she goes. She is a good kid, a 17 year old teenage girl with straight A's and a future on hold. Her friends are preparing for college while she stays behind in high school one more year. Her parents are divorced and she never met her father. She was just looking for love, a male personality to guide her.

There is this other young lady, a sophomore in the same school. She is the trouble maker. She is known for her bad reputation and all the attractive guys behind her. She is sick, vomits every day. "Come in", the doctor said. "I am afraid I have bad news". "The results for HIV are positive; fortunately you came in time and there are many treatments nowadays." It has been two months since then. She feels exhausted. Her body hurts. The medications are too strong. She does not want to go to school any more. Her last boyfriend got it too and her friend is sick as well. They do not want to tell anybody. They are afraid. She has a couple of years left. She did not listen to the doctor, she did not care. She was depressed. No more school for her. Her hair is falling; she coughs, and vomits every day. Why didn't she use protection, why her?

We live in the 21st century and we have yet to come to a solution to pre-marital sex, teenage pregnancy, and HIV. It can happen to anyone, the nerd of the class, the football quarter back, the singer from church. Sex is for everyone. What a controversial issue this is that people are still afraid to address it. Speak up. Parents talk to your teenagers about protection and consequences. Schools do the same. This is not a matter to keep to ourselves; this is a matter to the world.

How many more kids having kids do we need to take this issue into account? My best friend got pregnant at 15 years of age. My neighbor, 18 years old, has two baby boys. Half of my middle school classmates had a baby before graduating high school. 10% had a sexually transmitted disease. Another 20% did not finish high school or did not go to college. Most of them are house wives by the time they turn of legal age.

This is an important issue to me. It has a great impact in my career decision. I want to take part in helping individuals like these. I have seen friends struggle with this issue ever since I turned 15. It did not happen to me but it happened to my loved ones. I have baby sit for them and I know what a struggle it is to balance studies, work, and taking care of a baby. It is a full time job with endless responsibilities. This issue has been traveling with me all these years which is why I want to make a difference and prevent it. Stopping teenage pregnancy, HIV, and STDS, will make more leaders in the future. Preventive health will stop teenagers from being parents at a young age or dealing with deadly diseases and start leading teenagers into the work force. These teenagers could have been our future doctors, lawyers, nurses, or teachers. Why stop your life before you turn 18? Why not start it?


Thank you for reading my essay and giving me your feedback.
karlayad   
Sep 18, 2010
Undergraduate / MIT - Computers: Department that interests you the most (100 words) [6]

I like that it is short and to the point. Yet, I believe you can put a little more time into it. I know it is hard to put in 100 words but MIT is a very challenging school which expects the best of you. LIke EF Kevin said, put a little bit more time into giving feedback.
karlayad   
Sep 16, 2010
Undergraduate / "My ultimate goal is to save lives" - Ut essay A Statement of purpose [5]

Success has infinite definitions; it all comes down to who is defining the term. In my case, success accounts for reaching that point of satisfaction in what I do and being my best at it. After an indecisive first year of college I found what I wanted to do with my life. I achieved my freshman year of college switching from engineering to biology to nursing, searching for the subject of my best interest. Throughout my search, I found the health science road to be the one to follow in order to achieve success.

I am eager to start achieving my long term goals as a physician. As I get closer to graduating and entering the work field I find myself reading and researching for such things as diseases, people, health, science, viruses, and more. I am most interested in the formation of a fetus and the woman's reproductive system ever since I saw it in my Anatomy class. I wish to know about prenatal problems, AIDS, the breast, infections, viruses, gynecology in its totality. I found my passion. I cannot wait to treat patients and find more about their conditions. My long-term goal is to become a gynecologist and presence the birth of many children. I am not in it for the money. My desire is to help the most needed. I wish to work with those women who do not have the resources to take care of their health. Those who lack the education necessary to treat them, prevent AIDS and STDS, and unwanted pregnancies. I want to exercise preventive health and inform women about the consequences of unprotected sex and other situations. My job will not only consist of medical abilities but communication between my patients and me. I hope to treat as many women as I can and save their lives from long-term diseases and walk them through their pregnancies. I dream for my own clinic, one such as the Planned Parenthood clinic Laredo counts with. I believe in giving to receive and that is exactly what I am aiming for. I want to help my patients with their most important asset, their health, in order to obtain personal satisfaction by doing what I love and helping others.

Besides my love for science and medicine I also enjoy reading, writing, and thinking. I love mathematics which defines me as a person who is always willing to think outside the fox. My desire to become a physician goes way further then just accomplishing a goal. Becoming a doctor for me is reaching the top of the ice berg. It is proving me that I can use my critical thinking skills, intelligence, and passion to obtain the farthest academic and professional reach for me. Being dedicated, hard-working, outspoken, and concentrated at all times will lead me to not only accomplish what I set my mind to but give the university an outstanding student. I have managed to work part-time, maintain a 3.6 GPA, and exercise my hobbies such as ballet and soccer until this point. Yet, if going into the biological science school of UT and giving it my all to succeed means abandoning my extracurricular activities then by all means. I am willing to give the university, the school, and myself the outstanding student I am.

Finding the best way to obtain your goals is not an easy task. After hard work and a long search, I found my perfect match: The University of Texas at Austin. I find this university to be of my best interest. It counts with great advising and mentoring for medical school. The variety of majors within the biology fields is amazing. Neurology, microbiology, human biology, they all sound perfect. With the universities abilities to create great students, professionals, and members of society and my hard work and dedication I know I will get the basis to achieve graduation, medical school, and gynecology specialization.

Hello. I just went to the writing center at my university and they collaborated with me to changed my essay to the point where it had to be changed completely. Please give me your feedback on this, I really appreciate it!
karlayad   
Sep 14, 2010
Undergraduate / "My ultimate goal is to save lives" - Ut essay A Statement of purpose [5]

Statement of Purpose

Essay:

As a 17 year old freshman in college I still had my doubts as to what I wanted out of life. I had no clue as to what my passion was. Persuaded by my father's dreams and my love for mathematics, I decided to choose the challenging major of Biomedical Engineering. I was determined to fulfill this profession with the thought of helping people and making the life of patients, doctors, and heath professionals much easier with new machinery. As freshman ...

I know it is a bit lengthy but i do not know what to omit and what to keep. If there is anything you have to say about it or you think i should completely change my direction do not feel afraid to say so.

Thank you for your feedback.
karlayad   
Sep 14, 2010
Undergraduate / Admission Essay-- The Soup [6]

This is a very good essay. I am not sure of what the college prompt is but it seems like an essay for an issue or a crucial event in your life.

If this is the prompt then i think your essay is perfect. I love the passion in it and the way you great it is quite interesting. Keep up the good work.
karlayad   
Sep 14, 2010
Undergraduate / Anorexia: (issue of importance) - Essay E Ut admission [6]

yes grammar is an issue for me all the time.

I was having trouble defining whether i should write about my personal experiences more or about the issue itself since it saids to write about the issue and explain it.

Thank you for your feedback it was very helpful.
karlayad   
Sep 13, 2010
Undergraduate / Anorexia: (issue of importance) - Essay E Ut admission [6]

Personal Essay
Choose an issue of importance to you - the issue could be personal, school related, local, political, or international in scope - and write an essay in which you explain the significance of that issue to yourself, your family, your community, or your generation.

Essay:

Anorexia

Anorexia has been an issue for the world as well as for my family for many years. Fortunately, it was not me the one with the problem but two of my family members who were diagnosed with this disease. I have lived around this disease for as long as I can remember. Many may think that this eating disorder is a disease that can be cured by medicine, psychology, and nutrition. Well, my experiences have thought me otherwise. Anorexia is like alcoholism it stays with you for the rest of your life; whether you live a healthy life now or not, anorexia follows you around. It is a disease that one can learn to live with but never goes away completely. I have realized that my interest in medicine has plenty to do with this issue as well as other medical conditions. This problem has gone deep into my mind and my heart, which is why I am choosing this topic to explain to everyone around me how to cope with it, learn about it, and prevent it.

Anorexia nervosa as medicine calls it is an obsessive disease in which the individual stops eating to maintain a certain weight. This disease leads to the lack of the nutrients and energy the body needs to be healthy, which eventually leads to other severe diseases. This disease can be highly heritable. Anorexia can not only affect your children as they grow up to have this heritage but it can also lead to prenatal problems; your child can be born with diabetes, anemia, and other serious disorders as he or she is born. Anorexia is a real disease. Plenty of people do not take this problem seriously, but I think it is time for society to start coping with this issue. Anorexia as well as other eating disorders can cause brain damage, heart, lungs, and other organs to stop working properly, as mentioned before this disease leads to malnutrition which leads to your body malfunctioning because it is not retaining the proper nutrients and vitamins it needs.

I have a couple of experiences with this issue, as well as with the symptoms. I myself was about to start with this horrible habit of not eating to look "good". Yet, this is not about looking like the supermodel on television anymore this is about one's health and one's life. I am not being over-dramatic when I say anorexia can lead to death. It is true; anorexia can be as serious as cancer and other deadly diseases. First you think: "only for this week I am not going to eat or only for this week I am only drinking water, eating 2 fruits, and one sandwich," then it goes from that to only eating one fruit or one bar and that is it. Losing weight and staying healthy is possible. There is no need for over-exercising and not eating. There is no need for one meal a day and five hours of cardio. I have known people who also eat burgers and pizza once a day, but that is all they eat. Well, let me tell you that that Wendy's meal can have as much calories as you need in one whole day. I used to think the same thing, only one meal, only one drink, only six hours of exercise, this is only till I lose five pounds or six, but it is not only for this day or this week or this month, this leads to one year, two, or the rest of your life. I cannot communicate everything about this issue because I was not diagnosed with anorexia but thanks to the information I was given and the research I did on my own I found out that there are other ways to maintain a nice and slim body without jeopardizing your health.

I encourage you to take action and prevent this disease which can eventually lead to other generations to have it as well. Preventing and dealing with this disease is quite a challenge but it is not impossible. Looking for signs such as rapid and extreme weight loss, loss of appetite, constant colds or sickness, dizziness, and other uncommon changes in your body can help prevent anorexia. Talking with a psychologist about one's self-esteem and reaching out to a nutritionist or your family doctor can make a great asset to preventing this eating this order. We also count with plenty of anorexia-prevention institutions such as NEDA, National Eating Disorders Association, and Cedar Springs Austin Eating Disorders Treatment Center. Treating this problem with care and as much interest as treating other deadly disease can prevent severe consequences such as other diseases and even death. I encourage everyone to take action in this prevention; my interest comes from personal experience but do not wait for it to happen to you or your loved ones. Take action now and prevent low-self-esteem and other circumstances to get in the way of your health.

Thank you for taking your time to read my essay and analyze it!
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