Undergraduate / "My ability to accomplish anything I put my mind t" - "Vires, Artes, Mores" Essay [2]

PROMT: For almost one hundred years, the Latin words, "Vires, Artes, Mores" have been the guiding philosophy behind Florida State University. Vires signifies strength of all kinds - moral, physical, and intellectual; Artes alludes to the beauty of intellectual pursuits as exemplified in skill, craft, or art; and Mores refers to character, custom, or tradition. Describe how one or more of the values embodied in these concepts are reflected in your life.

Here is my rough draft of my essay: positive and negative feedback would be GREATLY appreciated!

The Latin words, "Vires, Artes, Mores" each possess their own meaning; Vires signifying strength; Artes referring to skill or craft; and Mores exemplifying character or tradition. Despite the simple translation, behind each word is a powerful story that varies from person to person.

"I'm so nervous I can hear my heartbeat in my head" I mention as my palms begin to sweat. I pull the curtain back a little for a moment and peak out. All I can see is spotlights, ESPN cameras, and thousands of people, many watching us in hopes we fail.

While tossing girls ten feet in the air and defying gravity sounds as if it calls for physical strength, it also requires a great deal of mental and emotion strength from within. Over the past few years I have devoted an immense amount of time to my sport. Even between juggling the tasks of mandatory practices, private tumbling lessons, school, homework, family and friends, I still manage to find the strength to keep my cool under pressure and not let it get the best of me. I feel that time management is essential in both college and the career environment, but could not be done without the presence of inner personal strength.

Along with this, what would a sport teams be without skill? I feel that anything that involves movement requires a certain amount of practice to perfect and perform that art. A cheerleading team would not exist if everyone only practiced when it was convenient for them. Which is why for our team to excel at our skills, we would dedicate several hours a day to the gym.

Lastly, and most importantly, anything the results in success involves character. I believe those who display signs of positive character have the ability to succeed and strengthen their talents. Through cheerleading, I have learned the ability to be passionate about learning and being open to new experiences. My ability to accomplish anything I put my mind to has become part of who I am and my character. I continuously am determined to seek advancement whether it is in the gym, the classroom, or at home.

I feel that a true Seminole should exhibit all of these traits. The fact that Florida State University highlights the concepts of "Vires, Artes, Mores" verifies my belief that I will find success at your university and continue my ability to demonstrate these values.

Undergraduate / Becoming a nurse to benefit others - USC Essay, in need of revision [5]

Promt: Tell us something that you have not already told us in this application that will help us better understand your potential for success as a college student at the University of South Carolina.

"Nurse! Nurse!" they shout in panic. You turn to the bed where the lifeless, limp body lays, barely living life seconds at a time. Patients are hanging by threads left and right with ventilators and tubes coming out of their weak bodies. You are here because you are supposed to be prepared in these types of emergencies. Your palms are sweating and you swear you can hear your heartbeat in your head, but you assure yourself you know exactly what to do. There is no time to page the doctor and no time to return the call. This life is in your hands. Your day just went from right side up to pure pandemonium in a matter of seconds and just like you, I am ready to take on these challenges.

Ever since I was eleven, I knew I was destined to involve myself in the medical field. Surgery stories and strange disorders on Discovery Health never failed to grasp my attention but it was not until I developed more as a young adult that I found myself wanting to be in an environment where I could also aid others.

When I was younger, I recall reading a book named Zink. Zink was about a young girl, Becky, who gets diagnosed with Leukemia. Throughout the story while Becky is walking the fine line between life and death, there is always a nurse named Angela there to comfort and ease her fears. Angela eventually develops a bond with Becky and gives Becky the courage to push through her painful surgeries and chemotherapy.

By the time I had finally finished Zink, I couldn't get it out of my head. I re-read it not once, but multiple times. I was amazed by everything; the hospital, the doctor, the blood counts, the nurse. Absolutely everything astonished my young mind.

The book left such a deep impression that since then, I knew I had wanted to work in the hospital; a place where I too can benefit others. Like Angela did for Becky, I want to transform a bad day into a good day for my patients. And despite the daily challenges I anticipate nursing to bring, such as the arduous days in clinical, I will persevere. I want to be an Angela; I want to make a difference in someone's day and ultimately, his or her life

- Elizabeth Faraca

(Positive and negative feedback is GREATLY appreciated!)