Undergraduate / Bullying Gave Me a Sense of Self - Honors Program Essay [5]

Here is the prompt:

Wallace Bacon, a recipient of an honorary doctorate from ***** in 1975, wrote that the liberal arts, or humanities, "are concerned with the question of what makes life worth living. And that question concerns not simply oneself but others. Thehumanities must help us learn who we are; they must help us learn the otherness of others."

And here is my answer:

In our lives, everyone has a toxic friend, a frenemy, whatever you want to call them. In my case, her name was Kristen. I met her when I was twelve. She was the new girl at my elementary school, and I was assigned to show her around. We became friends, and I brought her into my little group. At first, everything was great. Kristen was the kind of person who you want to be friends when you're a kid; she crazy and spontaneous and she came from one of those households where you could do whatever you wanted, so being her friend was a blast. About halfway through the year things started to become tense. It started with conversations that my friend's would immediately stop when I walked up. I knew they were talking about me, but I had no idea why. Then rumors started getting spread about me, something I'd never experienced before. I had a sneaking suspicion that Kristen was behind it- she was too gleeful when I complained, but I didn't want to lose my friends. A few weeks after spring break, I was over at Kristen's house and we were talking about boys. Kristen and I found out that day that we both liked the same guy. I didn't care; we were friends and that was more important than anything else, but apparently she did. The next day at school I was getting some strange looks and when I asked my friend about she said that she wished I had trusted her enough to tell her I was gay. I was in complete disbelief- I had no idea where anyone would have gotten that idea. So I asked my friend and she told me that Kristen had told her. After that Kristen and I were no longer friends. Sadly, I did lose some friends because of Kristen and her rumors, but the ones I kept were more important to me.

The following year I was in middle school, Kristen had moved, and I got a fresh start. Then I saw the same pattern repeating in my new group, except this time I was one of the bystanders having to choose to perpetuate the rumors or ignore them. I kept thinking of Kristen. I would never want to do to anyone else what she did to me. I had gotten first hand experience of how devastating and vicious rumors could be. So even though being gossiped about was a horrible experience it made me realize what kind of person I wanted to be. I didn't want to be someone who spread lies and idle gossip. I wanted to be the friend who people could turn to and trust with anything. I wanted to be the kind of person who didn't take the easy path and go along with what everybody else was saying. Chris Hollyfield, a motivational speaker I've heard speak, once said "You must have the dedication, determination and desire to be a friend, not a bully." That experience, no matter how difficult it was to endure, gave me those qualities and helped shaped me as a friend, not as a gossip.

Writing Feedback / Ethan Frome Analytical Essay - Sledding Passage [2]

So I have this passage from Ethan Frome:

He took his seat on the sled and Mattie instantly placed herself in front of him. Her hat had fallen into the snow and his lips were ...

My essay is below. Let me know what you think, and please be honest!

Edith Wharton's classic American novel Ethan Frome is about what society considers right versus our own personal desires. Society, at the time, would have dictated that Ethan Frome should stay with his ill wife, Zeena instead of going away with his true love, his wife's cousin, Mattie. Sadly both society and his wife keep the two apart. This passage, where Ethan and Mattie attempt to kill themselves so they can be together, is the perfect symbol of giving into human desire. Society would view suicide, especially with another woman, to be entirely inappropriate. Ethan and Mattie do not feel wrong or guilty about it - they know in their heart of hearts what is right, for them.

The first striking piece from this passage is Mattie's vehemence that Ethan explain why he wants her to get up and sit in the back. Their relationship is almost never spoken of, and is more based on actions than words. In this instance Mattie just wants to hear Ethan say he wants her to hold him. By forcing him to say it, it gives their relationship a spoken substance that it lacked before (Wharton 97). Even when they spoke of running away together, the conversation was based entirely on how they would do it rather than on why they were doing it. Only after Ethan verbalizes it is Mattie satisfied. This minute recognition gives the relationship substance that allows them to attempt suicide together.

Giving up the reins is very symbolic in this piece as well. In his life, Ethan has given up much of his control, especially to women, whether it's to his mother or to Zeena. And because of this lack of control, his life isn't taking the "path" he wants it to take. He ends up in a loveless marriage, continuously taking care of a sick woman, and being denied the person he actually loves. Similarly in this case, he gives up control of the sled to Mattie, they swerve off of the path, and once again things do not go the way he envisioned them to go. This idea of relinquishing control to a woman is also highly significant for the time period in which Ethan Frome was written. Edith Wharton came from affluence, giving her more control over her own life than the majority of women in the late 1800s ("Edith Wharton"). Writing a book where women control much of the male protagonist's life was a new concept, showcasing that women could have all the power and failings of power than men have.

On their way down the mountain, as they approach the elm, Ethan gets the feeling of flying "with Starkfield immeasurably below them, falling away like a speck in space." Throughout the book Starkfield, is a symbol of being trapped for Ethan. Whether it's being trapped by Zeena, or by the gossiping townsfolk, or even the snow trapping them from the outside world, Starkfield has trapped Ethan. So this feeling of flying and leaving the town behind is also a projection of Ethan's own desires. He wants to leave behind the small town, and forget all about it and his life there and just be with Mattie. In this one moment before the sled swerves, he has the feeling that his deepest wish is being fulfilled. That's why after that moment he becomes even more determined to "fetch it," because he wants his life to end on that blissful note.

During the actual suicide attempt however, when the sled swerves off of the path, Zeena's face pops into Ethan's head. In many ways, this small instance is a mirror for the overall path of Ethan and Mattie's relationship. Zeena consistently interferes with the notion that Ethan and Mattie are "meant to be". Ethan's marriage to Zeena, and later Zeena's insistence that Zeena be sent away have all prevented Ethan and Mattie from being together. Only by making this one decision to die together can they get out from under Zeena's thumb and set their relationship on the path they should have been on all along.

The suicide attempt also has connotations similar to marriage, in a trial by fire sort of way. The quote "and her blood seemed to be in his veins" conjures images of two becoming one. In a way, the act of suicide itself joins the two as much as any marriage. Earlier in this passage it says, "She was right: this was better than parting." That quote shows that Ethan would rather be dead with Mattie than alive without her. Because Ethan and Mattie are making the choice to be together in any way possible, even if that means being together in death, it is like they are vowing to be together forever. It also shows why Ethan's feelings toward Mattie are much more meaningful than his feelings towards Zeena. He married Zeena because he wanted companionship and the only way to get Zeena to stay after his mother died was to ask for her hand in marriage. It's a marriage of ease rather than of love. But he truly loves Mattie; he takes the road that will let them be together, even if it's not easy.

Another vast difference between Zeena and Mattie is the way that Ethan instinctively acts towards them. When Zeena's face pops into Ethan's mind, "he made an instinctive movement to brush it aside." Yet when Mattie is hurt, the instant Ethan touches her he realizes what has happened and instinctively goes to comfort her, even though he himself is in pain. This juxtaposition between his wife and Mattie reinforces the idea that the suicide attempt is the true indicator of who Ethan loves.

The aftermath of the crash is also interesting because of Ethan's reaction to it. At first it seems like even he doesn't understand what happened. He truly believed that he and Mattie fetched it. This is shown in that when Ethan hears a cry of pain, he doesn't identify it as his own or even as Mattie's, but associates it with a small field mouse. That disconnect represents the disconnect in Ethan's own life. What is happening and what he wants to be happening are very different things. In this instance he wants and believes that they've fetched it, but in reality they've simply crashed.

Another notable part of the aftermath of the crash is how it indicates where Ethan's priorities lie in his life. When they are lying there and Ethan becomes aware of what has happened Ethan's first priority is Mattie. Even though he is in pain, he checks on her because he knows that she is in worse shape than he is. But his reaction immediately after that occurs when he hears the sorrel whiny. Ethan thinks, "I ought to be getting him his feed..." This shows that even though he just tried to kill himself, a fairly serious life decision, he is still not free from life's responsibilities. In today's society when someone tries to commit suicide and fails, we give them counseling and time before pushing them back into the real world because we don't want them to keep feeling that desperate. Sadly in this novel's time period, Ethan doesn't get that reprieve. Not only does this speak to the time period, but it also speaks to Ethan's future state of mind. His life not only continues as it was before, but it's actually worse. Essentially his reaction can predict that through the rest of his life, he will still feel that oppressiveness.

The decisions and actions throughout this passage illuminate where Ethan and Mattie's true emotions for each other, even if they are not able to articulate them to each other or the world. By deciding to go against societal stigmas, the pair send a message about choices. They wanted each other badly enough that they were willing to die together even though it was the difficult decision - it was their choice.

Undergraduate / "Visit to Emerson" + "Radio is my first choice major" - Supplement Short Answers [7]

So here are my answers to 2 of Emerson's short answer questions! Let me know what you think and how I could improve these answers because I really want to get in to my first choice!

Who or what was most influential in your decision to apply to Emerson?
My visit to Emerson was most influential in my decision to apply. I fell in love with the feel of the school, the enthusiastic students, and the chance to explore so many aspects of communications.

Please tell us what influenced you to select your first choice major and, if applicable, your second choice major.
Radio is my first choice major because it provides the freedom to explore diverse topics and discuss them with an audience on a mass scale. Radio is going through a time of change right now, challenged by alternative distribution channels, and a radio major would allow me to learn not only the skills needed to be on the radio, but the production and business of radio production as well. The idea of developing and broadcasting a radio show that anyone can hear excites me more than anything else. My second choice major, writing for film and television, may seem completely different from radio. But I also like expressing my ideas in writing. I always believed that I would write novels until my sophomore year of high school. My English teacher was reviewing an essay of mine and said that the piece sounded like it should be spoken. That comment got me thinking. I always loved film and television because of the array of characters and situations that people create. I want to do that. The medium of film provides endless possibilities for writers to explore. I've always been full of ideas for stories, and putting them on TV fascinates me.

If you were to write the story of your life until now, what would you title it? Why? 100-200 words
My life has earned the titled "Off the High Dive." It's a hot August day when my parents take a four year old me to the pool. I beg my father to let me jump off of the diving board like my brother. He says it's a bad idea because my bones already break easily. I beg more. My father acquiesces. He figures that if I'm in his arms, I'll be safe. We jump - cold water infiltrates my skin and lungs and a searing pain shoots through my leg. It's broken. Even now I try things I've been told I can't or shouldn't do. Some of the time, these things end up being mistakes. But I'm glad I did them. Without testing my limits, I would never have become an actress, won a room makeover, or learned how much I love Splash Mountain at Disneyland. It has a huge drop, my stomach falls out, I get soaked - and I love it! Best of all- no broken bones. So, I have learned: sometimes seeing limits is limiting and jumping "off the high dive" is just the thing to do.