So here are my answers to 2 of Emerson's short answer questions! Let me know what you think and how I could improve these answers because I really want to get in to my first choice!
Who or what was most influential in your decision to apply to Emerson?
My visit to Emerson was most influential in my decision to apply. I fell in love with the feel of the school, the enthusiastic students, and the chance to explore so many aspects of communications.
Please tell us what influenced you to select your first choice major and, if applicable, your second choice major.
Radio is my first choice major because it provides the freedom to explore diverse topics and discuss them with an audience on a mass scale. Radio is going through a time of change right now, challenged by alternative distribution channels, and a radio major would allow me to learn not only the skills needed to be on the radio, but the production and business of radio production as well. The idea of developing and broadcasting a radio show that anyone can hear excites me more than anything else. My second choice major, writing for film and television, may seem completely different from radio. But I also like expressing my ideas in writing. I always believed that I would write novels until my sophomore year of high school. My English teacher was reviewing an essay of mine and said that the piece sounded like it should be spoken. That comment got me thinking. I always loved film and television because of the array of characters and situations that people create. I want to do that. The medium of film provides endless possibilities for writers to explore. I've always been full of ideas for stories, and putting them on TV fascinates me.
If you were to write the story of your life until now, what would you title it? Why? 100-200 words
My life has earned the titled "Off the High Dive." It's a hot August day when my parents take a four year old me to the pool. I beg my father to let me jump off of the diving board like my brother. He says it's a bad idea because my bones already break easily. I beg more. My father acquiesces. He figures that if I'm in his arms, I'll be safe. We jump - cold water infiltrates my skin and lungs and a searing pain shoots through my leg. It's broken. Even now I try things I've been told I can't or shouldn't do. Some of the time, these things end up being mistakes. But I'm glad I did them. Without testing my limits, I would never have become an actress, won a room makeover, or learned how much I love Splash Mountain at Disneyland. It has a huge drop, my stomach falls out, I get soaked - and I love it! Best of all- no broken bones. So, I have learned: sometimes seeing limits is limiting and jumping "off the high dive" is just the thing to do.
I think the second question was answered well, but I feel like the question about who/what was most influential in your decision to apply should have been longer. I might be totally wrong because I'm nottotally sure I know what they require in their short answers. But I figured since "something that influences you" is one of those cliche big deal type things, they would expect a longer answer.
that's just my personal opinion though:)
expand more one the answer to why you want to go. if its your first choice school it shouldnt be hard to explain why in more depth
change this My second choice major, writing for film and television, may seem completely different from radio. But I also like expressing my ideas in writing. I....to this My second choice major, writing for film and television, embodies my second passion, expressing my ideas in writing.
this sentence seems to serve no purpose ...Radio is going through a time of change right now, challenged by alternative distribution channels,
please look at my homelessness essay
In that first essay, I really like the style you achieve when you vary the sentence length and include some really short ones... very good writing. However, I find myself feeling as though you are neglecting the significance of the Internet. Internet podcasts are starting to take the place of radio broadcasts, I think! :-)
So, I have learned: sometimes seeing limits is limiting and jumping "off the high dive" is just the thing to do.----this second essay is really well written. You seriously have a great talent for writing. I just wonder if you can somehow make the second essay more reflective of seriousness about our chosen field of study!! :-)
I really like your first essay, it's to the point but still eloquently put.
Your second essay 'off the high dive' seems a little bit scattered. I think it's because of the limited word count, but something about just mentioning "i would have never become an actress, won a room makeover" etc, just seems kind of unrelated and confusing, as it adds more elements without explaining them. Maybe you turn it into some sort of symbolism with water, since you talk about the high dive, and then Splash mountain?
Just a suggestion though! I really like the "seeing limits is limiting" bit. Read one of mine?
This is essay was very well written.
Without testing my limits, I would never have become an actress, won a room makeover, or learned how much I love Splash Mountain at Disneyland. I think you should either delete this sentence or alter it, but overall this second piece was great!
You are a very gifted writer. I think you could add one more sentence to your first essay. For the third essay the only thing I would change is "titled" to title
Hope this helps :)
