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Posts by msjamie
Joined: Nov 6, 2010
Last Post: Jan 10, 2011
Threads: 2
Posts: 11  
From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 13
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msjamie   
Jan 9, 2011
Undergraduate / The subway in Paris- Brown Supplement [5]

Good essay, however, i find it a bit wordy.

Certain things can be shortened to save limits and time such as:Each sign that could have possibly given me any assistance was written in an unfamiliar language, and I could not help wishing that I had spent the last three years of school in French class rather than Spanish.

Could be shortened to:
Each sign that could have been of an assistance only made me regret studying Spanish rather than French.

or w/e you please, I just like to be concise and to the point.

also i feel that the experience only influenced you to learn a different language at Brown, and not anything else. Perhaps you are majoring in a foreign language. If so, then good job! If not, still good job and good luck.
msjamie   
Jan 9, 2011
Undergraduate / Seeking knowledge and commitment to service - Spelman experience [5]

Hey, give me the good, bad, the ugly. Critique it as if you were a writing judge! Been working on this for 2 months.

Prompt: Seeking knowledge and commitment to service are integral parts to the Spelman experience. Discuss and illustrate ways you have shown commitment in these areas.

Carl Jung said, "Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens." That means everything will become clear only when looking inside of your heart. Seeking knowledge takes patience because education cannot be shortened, or limited, and commitment to service takes integrity because of devoting yourself to treat others with respect and because of reflecting good character and morals. I am not shy of these two factors because my family applied them into my life and into my heart, which has made everything before me clearer.

after edits

In the words of Franklin D. Roosevelt, "I ask you to judge me by the enemies I have made." Of course, I have stumbled upon that quote in U.S. History class and reminisced its actual meaning while mouthing the words to myself. As far as I can remember, the only enemies I have made were ignorance, failure, and selfishness; all have mercilessly attacked me into the point I begin questioning myself: am I here to serve, to become successful? Or am I here as one more person in the world to become consumed by fate?

I remember myself as a child, uninterested in simple things like crayons and dolls. Education is a must in my household, and every night I would read a new encyclopedia of every alphabet for no apparent reason. I managed to keep up with schoolwork even though my family relocated almost twice a year, and I was always competing with other gifted students in my school and state. My mother would always preach to her daughters about the importance of an education because it would determine where I stand financially and spiritually; where I live, education is not as appreciated as it should be, and my mother was not allowing her pride and joy uphold their education hold for anything like she did due to an abusive ex-husband that caused much of our relocations.

To starve my selfishness, I am dedicated to many organizations, volunteer and extracurricular activities. Even though I want be a physician, I have joined FBLA (future business leaders) because I want to build a hospital in my community to create more jobs and volunteer opportunities. I try to be a good leader in my community, often giving advice to peers; thus, I keep my humbleness and consideration for others. When I became a member of Tunica Teens in Action, I remember cleaning up our old neighborhoods and giving hope to those who have literally lost everything; every day I am worried about what to wear tomorrow, and there are people living in my town without a pair of shoes to wear. Giving away my items, costly or not, felt better than owning many more of those items would; i literally gave a shirt off my back.

To experience the lifestyle of a 'Spelmanite' would not only impact my life, but it would give me a chance to prove my importance to the world. "We may encounter many defeats but we must not be defeated," said Maya Angelou. Through many hardships in life I have encountered, from being told no more than being told yes, from being underestimated because my sex, from being giving up what I have for absolutely nothing but gratitude in return, a beautiful black butterfly evolves and soars high above all of her enemies: ignorance, failure, selfishness, with a future of becoming a successful, educated leader.
msjamie   
Nov 13, 2010
Undergraduate / "Business, calculus, chemistry, .." the subjects in which you excel or have excelled. [8]

OK so i reconstructed the WHOLE thing. Like you said, i had too many classes, WELL i took it to heart and instead of naming classes, i stuck to two subjects: math and science!

Coincidently, I excel in math and science simply because of my passion for both subjects. Honestly, I do not try to do my best in my math and science classes because I have to, but I do it because I want to; I can say that I have found my interests for those subjects at an early age. Coming up, my mother provided educational resources such as Schoolhouse Rock videotapes and a library card for me, which I think played a big role in establishing success in my future and my passion for learning, especially in math and science. As a youngster, I always toyed with household items and mixed them together, hoping to create some sort of magic potion or medicine that would make me a famous scientist. I even dreamed of creating my own laboratory, being inspired by one of my favorite cartoons, Dexter's Laboratory. Reminiscing on one successful experiment I found in a science book, I made a bouncing ball out of an egg that I put in a cup of vinegar in a cabinet for seven days. My curious ways led me to thinking that I was indeed a smart, young girl that could conquer the world if I wanted to.

Since math and science are first cousins, it is no wonder that math had become my most favorite subjects to excel in. Whenever I wasn't in the bathroom mixing up chemicals, I would be on the computer enjoying an educational CD called Jumpstart. I got addicted to getting the right answers all of the time, which made me a bit emotional whenever my teacher would tell me otherwise. I often cried whenever I got an A- on a quiz. This kind of behavior raised a few eyebrows on how I was treated at home, but in reality I was and still am hard on myself when it comes to my favorite subjects. It feels like if I fail at my specialties, I feel like a failure. And math, relatively harder than science, was a love-hate relationship for me. Math has always been a subject that required me to do better in; it wasn't like science, which any answer could be either almost right or not precise. I became struggled fiercely in math, which fed the passion for it, and I truly believe that math can make you smarter. Ultimately, my first loves were math and science, and I share equal feelings for both subjects.

is there anything i needa fix, let me know, Kay? thank you!
msjamie   
Nov 6, 2010
Undergraduate / "Business, calculus, chemistry, .." the subjects in which you excel or have excelled. [8]

Discuss the subjects in which you excel or have excelled. To what factors do you attribute your success?

Blessed and lucky I am to have a once struggling but supportive family caring to each and every need; which is the very first factor that comes to mind that has helped succeed in any of my classes. Not everyone is able to have an extra shoulder to lean on; I had about four of them, composed of my grandmother and grandfather, my mother, and older sister and even though my father was many miles away, he would call me all the time to fill in his missing hours of my life. The support of my...

One of the most important factors that has attributed to my success is my family; Not everyone is able to have an extra shoulder to lean on; I have about four of them, composed of my grandmother and grandfather, my mother, and older sister and even though my father was many miles away, he would frequently call me to fill in his missing hours of my life. The support of my family is all I need to excel in anything, and everyone in my town knew who we were because of my face being plastered in the town's newspaper every week for a new award-winning poem I have written or for outstanding achievement in school.

The strong will that have inherited from my parents has aided me out of the toughest situations, especially in class. In my Business and Computer Technology class, with such marvelous keyboarding skills (140 gross words per minute) and excellent communication skills at a young age, I impressed many of my peers in the class and motivational speakers who came to visit us; which gave me a bit of spotlight and encouraged me to become a member of the Future Business Leaders of America. Being in FBLA gave me the opportunity to travel to different cities in the state to compete with other outstanding students in debating, keyboarding, and public speaking. Keyboarding was a breeze; it did not require for me to talk, just type pages of information faster and more precisely than my opponents. However, I am very shy, and I almost backed out of debating and publically speaking against the other teams. I can remember telling myself to just do it, and don't worry about anything else; I was doing this for my organization, and I had to give it my all. Those words of encouragement stuck to me, and I overcame my bashfulness. Business and Computer Technology is definitely a class I would recommend because business and technology are two important factors in America.

But that strong will has also aided me in many other classes, such as Honors Pre-Calculus. My biggest weaknesses: graphs, system of equations, and variables were constantly being thrown at me without any preparation. I was not failing, but I definitely did not like the grade in that class. That first semester broke me down inside a bit, but my will told me there was another chance for me; a chance to prove how intelligent I am. The next semester was Trigonometry, and I aced it with minor difficulties. It was like it was Pre-Calculus repeating itself, and I did all I could in that class, more than I did last semester; all thanks to my will power.

My natural ability is a factor I have obtained at a young age. Some things just come naturally; so I guess that is why Spanish II is a fairly easy course. English is derived from many words from Latin, and Spanish is no exception. And most of the words in Spanish are cognates, which mean that they look like the words they mean in English; quite interesting. And I am sure that the things I learn in Spanish II I will never forget.

Networking is such an important factor and is mandatory for me. Just remember that very important test that everyone had to pass in order to be successful; the ACT, the SAT and SAT Subject Tests, and many other tests that jab you in the stomach when the name is mentioned. It really pays off when you have a couple of friends you can depend upon when there is a hard task to complete in class. Networking has definitely helped me with many other things such as extra credit opportunities that really are not mentioned in class or any other benefits. Without networking, I do not think passing U.S. History, English III, or Chemistry would be possible in my 11th grade year; which is the first year at this new school. I developed a relationship with my U.S. History teacher, Mr. Hall; it was not a difficult task since he was my bus driver as well! English III seemed like a remediation class; it was way too simple to not pass it. The work we were given was actually 3rd grade worksheets, dealing with subject-verb agreement and past and present tense verbs.

In Chemistry, without the help of my good friend, Alberta, I would not have passed it. Chemistry was a difficult class with a difficult teacher named Mr. Leflore, but all thanks to networking, I made it through. I enjoyed Chemistry; it was so complex. In class we would exchange information about the quizzes and daily worksheets we received. I wouldn't consider it cheating because we didn't fully trust each other's answers; we just went with what felt right with a few pointers from other classmates. Everyone helped each other, networking is a great tool.

Passion is another factor that has saved me from failing anything. If something is very uninteresting, I do not pursue it. Visual Arts, a seemingly easy class but surprisingly hard for many students in my school, is an interesting class I am currently taking. There is only one thing we do in there: draw. But the thing is, I can express myself through art in many ways. I write poetry, I draw, and I paint; it can't get any better than that! Biology II and Astronomy are easy classes to excel in. Luckily I do not have to force myself or I don't have to network as hard to succeed in my science classes because I like what I do in science; making pedigree charts and studying Genetics; Astronomy is far from easy, but it is very interesting to learn about the origin of our solar system and ancient philosophies. I have a passion for both art and science.

I apply these factors everyday in my life and I plan on using them the rest of my senior year and throughout college.

did i answer this greatly? :)
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