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Posts by Lizzy9311
Joined: Nov 19, 2010
Last Post: Dec 20, 2010
Threads: 2
Posts: 4  

From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 6
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Lizzy9311   
Dec 20, 2010
Undergraduate / How moving to another country changed me - Common app topic 6 [3]

My parents thought that it was about time I learnt independence; they enrolled me in an international school in Singapore. - learned
I learnt about consequences and making the right choices, about confidence and standing up for what you believe in , about diversity and tolerance, about leadership and compassion. - learned

I did also learned what my parents had wanted me to : independence. I am no longer trapped in a sea of homogeneity:
This is a good essay!
Lizzy9311   
Dec 20, 2010
Undergraduate / "20% represents a life-goal that I'm striving for - commonapp (international student) [3]

Thanks to the educational system in China, a student can always know whether he or she is thebest or not . - a good student or not.

I'm more aware of the importance of getting into a good university where I'll get a better chance to meet the people who are either already in the "20%" or are heading in the same direction as I'm now. - I am.

This is a great essay! There is really not many mistakes but hope it helps.
Lizzy9311   
Dec 14, 2010
Undergraduate / Texas Tech, my Hispanic culture - Apply Texas [NEW]

Topic: There may be personal information that you want considered as part of your admissions application. Write an essay describing that information. You might include exceptional hardships, challenges, or opportunities that have shaped or impacted your abilities or academic credentials, personal responsibilities, exceptional achievements or talents, educational goals, or ways in which you might contribute to an institution committed to creating a diverse learning environment.

Essay: As part of my Hispanic culture, a girl has two options upon high school graduation: either get married and have kids or continue to get a higher education. Many Hispanic girls chose the first and easy option: getting married. However, I choose the second option, pursuing higher education, because I believe in the American dream: I can become whoever I want to be- that is to ultimately become a psychologist. Yet, it is a dream with many challenges especially since my family immigrated from Mexico. College was expensive then so my parents could not afford to pursue a higher education. Hence, I decided to honor them and make them proud by being able to attend college. College is an option in many countries; however, because of income issues people often chose a different path than college. In the United States one is able to receive scholarships and grants making college more affordable and accessible, a more obtainable dream.

Since I am the first person to graduate from high school in my family, I am a bit unfortunate because I do not know what to expect as college comes to mind. Being that, I try to seek the resources that are available, for example talking to my high school counselors or mentors that are available to help me. It is still challenging because I am not able to talk to my parents about the college process because they would not understand.

While growing up, the first language I learned and spoke was Spanish. My parents were not familiar with the English language therefore, I was not acquainted with. Whenever I started school, I noticed that almost everyone around me spoke English and the homework I was assigned was in English. That is when all the challenges began flowing in. I had difficulties doing my homework and received little support from my parents since they did not understand the material. The only resources I found useful were from the teachers at school since they were teaching the subject. There were times I just wanted to give up everything but I realized that I was not the only one struggling with this problem, and that if I would learn English it would be like finding a key to the door of endless possibilities.

Being the oldest in my family turned out to be difficult because I was the one in charge of my siblings whenever my mother was not available. I was responsible for them and made sure they were doing fine. Going home, I had various responsibilities waiting for me, they were to do my homework, my chores, and take care of my siblings if my parents were not home. While school was expecting me to do my work my parents were expecting me to be responsible for my siblings at home.

Going to college will be a big step I will take towards a successful future; it will change my life because I will take advantage of having the privilege of pursuing a higher education and gaining further knowledge in life. It will be a dream I have always wanted to accomplish with the hard work and strength I have put towards my education. Being that my parents did not pursue higher education, and have to perform jobs that pay little money, I want to succeed and not follow their footsteps because I want to have a chance to maintain a stable career upon completing graduation and provide for my family. I believe in the American dream.

Would really appreciate your help.
Thanks.
Lizzy9311   
Dec 13, 2010
Undergraduate / Mother - A FAMILY MEMBER/ FRIEND/PERSON WHO HAD SIGNIFICANT INFLUENCE ON YOU. [5]

,and somebody even play role to help us change our self. -You might want to rephrase this a little.
At that time, she had to try many of works for earning. -You night want to do the same with this sentence.
The thing that I admire my mother most is she always keep in her mind the positive thought. -What positive thought?
keep in mind that you was born to be a strong person. I absolutely believe in you".- that you were born...
I was proud of my achievement could bring back my mother as an significant present.- I don't understand what you are trying to say here.

I wonder how I balance my pressure from exam nerves and my part-time job.
However, I believe that I can do all these thing well because, it is the suitable time for me to train myself become stronger. - Delete the comma after because.
Lizzy9311   
Nov 19, 2010
Undergraduate / "Describe your relationship with your siblings." - St. Edwards Essay [2]

The Topic is:
In her book Original Kin, Marian Sandmaier has written that "A sibling may be the sole keeper of one's core identity, the only person with the keys to one's unfettered, more fundamental self." Describe your relationship with your siblings. Do you think birth order has had a significant impact on who you are? If you are an only child, how has the lack of a sibling shaped your identity?

I Would really appreciate yall's time revising and editing my essay thanks.

"Elizabeth, ya me voy y regresare en unas horas, si no regreso antes de las nueve de la noche encargate de que tus hermanos esen dormidos antes de esa hora." My mother tells me to take care of my siblings while she leaves to church. I am the oldest in my family and have to take care of my four younger siblings at least three times a week.

When i was about ten years old I was automatically given the responsibility of taking care of my siblings. At first i hated being responsible for them because that was practically all i did. I could not go outside and ride my bike without one of my siblings having to cry or ask for something. Through the years i have learned how to take care of and guide for children.Other than learning the process and the rules to take care of my siblings i also took care of my younger cousins whenever i was available to do so. I have also learned that being the oldest takes a lot of effort and courage. I have to be a great example for my siblings, to show them what is right or what is wrong. Other than being just a sister , I have to be their second mother, that other person they can rely on. Now that i have more knowledge than i had before and know that it takes a lot of work and responsibility to be an older sister, I love it. I don't complain and would not do so because baby-sitting is what i like to do. I have always been a great help to my mother, "Gracias por ayudarme." "Thanks for helping" are the words i always hear from her as i have done nothing but do my role as the oldest.

My relationships with my siblings are more than just a sister. My sister and i have always been very close;she shares her secrets with me as i do with her. Whenever i want to go somewhere she always comes along, and whenever she wants something she asks me if i can go buy it for her. She says she wants to be like me and follow into my steps, accomplish her dreams as what i have been doing.

Between my younger brother and i there is a type of mother son relationship. Whenever my mother is not available i dress him, feed him and play with him. I have always taken care of him; if it is not my sister tagging along it is him. Whenever he has a question about his homework i sit there and explain to him what he has to do. He is the baby of the family which means he is spoiled and that is because of me. If my parents cannot get him what he wants he goes to me and gets it.

The role of a big sister has helped me through life by being a responsible person and a good helper, both of those skills will always be useful. Going to college will be a big step i will take towards success in my family, after i do so my siblings will follow in after me and will be encouraged to attend college. I will also be able to help them and comprehend what the process will be while applying to college. I have seen myself with those two qualities which i will keep using every time, as well as college.
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