Undergraduate / Enrich our divese community and hopes for your college-CU Boulder Essay [4]

Hi,

This is my essay for U of Colorado-Boulder, please take a look and share your comments.

Thank you!

Here's the topic and my essay:

Essay A (required; maximum 500 words): The University of Colorado Boulder's Flagship 2030 strategic plan promotes exceptional teaching, research, scholarship, creative works, and service distinguishing us as a premier university. We strive to foster a diverse and inclusive community for all that engages each member in opportunities for academic excellence, leadership, and a deeper understanding of the world in which we live. Given the statement above, how do you think you could enrich our diverse and inclusive community and what are your hopes for your college experience?

At the University of Colorado at Boulder, I will bring confidence and leadership to this active campus, in addition to all the other experiences that have shaped my personality; I believe that they will enable me to participate in various activities and communicate with students from different countries with ease.

All my experiences have made me what I am today. Let me explain at a bit further.

The first time I ever spoke to a large crowd, I was giving a welcome speech to some Japanese visitors. Everything went wrong! The microphone was too high for me; my voice kept trembling; I skipped lines and had no idea where I was. The experience left me painfully embarrassed in front of hundreds of people.

This was the first time I experienced the pain of defeat. However, since then I became more social and spent more time around people. I have kept participating in other activities to prove my ability. I also organized table tennis clubs and pop piano clubs. All those have enhanced my leadership skills, made me more confident, and indeed, I have made numerous speeches, without trembling any more.

Furthermore, as a student from China, I will bring my unique cultural, social background and thinking to CU-Boulder and am willing to share with all CU-Boulder students from all around the world; in the meantime, I am eager to listen to and understand other people's thought. With more influence of globalization, it is very important for us international students to communicate with people from every corner of world.

Confucius once said, "How happy we are to have friends from afar!" This really expresses my attitude toward friends. I look forward to meeting people with diverse social, cultural and religious background in university; with students from more than 100 countries, CU-Boulder will definitely provide me a great opportunity for that. The UCSU Cultural Events Board attracts me a lot, for it promotes the interaction among students; I hope to participate to have a deeper understanding of cultural differences and help other students communicate with each other.

At the University of Colorado at Boulder, I will let my light shine both in the classes and in diverse activities outside of the classroom. I read the blogs of some CU-Boulder students; in addition to the breath-taking scenery and the friendly atmosphere, the activities in this campus attract me, from hiking to ballet classes. Moreover, I would like to take part in CU-Boulder's student organizations like CU-CSSA as well as found my own club.

Moreover, I'm planning to major in engineering, in which CU-Boulder has a world-class reputation. I have prepared myself well in math and science for this, and I believe that with the help of CU-Boulder I will help me become an outstanding engineer.

Finally, as a student from China, I am willing to share my unique cultural background with all CU-Boulder students, as well as all the experiences that have shaped me.

Undergraduate / "My high school English teacher, Influencial Person" - UT Prompt A [3]

Anyone could review my essay?

Essay A: Write an essay in which you tell us about someone who has made an impact on your life and explain how and why this person is important to you.

Throughout my eighteen-year life, I have been lucky enough to meet those teachers who have supported me, given me necessary criticism, and taught me how to live my life. After all, of all those superior teachers, Susan, my high school English teacher is the most important one to me, for she has changed me and my life since the day I met her.

Susan produced me the biggest smile I had ever seen on my first day in senior high school. She is as breezy and heart-warming as her smile. However, haven't been aware of that for months. I did not like her. I regarded her humor as being affected, I disliked her too direct way to criticize others; I was antipathetic to her blaming me when others did not hand in their homework (I was appointed to be her assistant and collecting homework was my duty). Then when spotting a poster discussing Susan on the school forum, being conscious that she would see it, I submitted, "I dislike her" simply. Simply bad thing I did.

I realized that after a serious talk with Susan, when she told me she saw my poster. I thought she would scold me; she said nothing more. After a long silence, I began to speak. "I did not mean to hurt you. I just wanted you to know that I didn't like the way you behave." I was frank; so was Susan. "I don't blame you; I knew sometimes I'm just too direct and hurt others feelings. You and I are totally different kinds of person and we have different ways of doing things. I appreciate your criticism, and I will be happy if that goes in another way next time, a direct way. You know, I'd like to see an out-going you." I will never forget her words, for it was probably the first candid conversation I had had with others.

For sixteen years, I have been morbidly introverted, locking myself in my own territory, and did not communicate with others and did not knew the significance to be frank and direct. I can hardly remember what I used to be; I intentionally get rid of my memory of my silent period, because I find it terrible whenever I recall it.

In my two-year study in high school, Susan has exercised an invisible, formative influence on me. Now I smile sincerely, tell my feelings boldly, and have become a good communicator. Sometimes I feel that to a great extend I resemble Susan. I should not have disliked her; I love what I am now. Sometimes when I see face in the mirror, I smile from my heart. It was Susan who has shaped me like this.

Undergraduate / "China needs hospice." - Issue of Importance to You -- UT Essay B [3]

Choose an issue of importance to you-the issue could be personal, school related, local, political, or international in scope-and write an essay in which you explain the significance of that issue to yourself, your family, your community, or your generation.

Here is my essay, do give me some helpful pointers! Thanks a lot!

China's economy and society has been evolving immensely since the 1970s; I, born and brought up in Beijing, have witnessed countless dramatic changes in my 18-year life. However, while rapid demographic structure transition taking place, the construction of corresponding facilities can not keep up with the tempo. This unbalance is a significant issue to consider for my society and my country, and to my knowledge, hospice is the most important aspect and is in urgency to be improved.

I first heard about hospice in my ethics elective. In the first class I was told that of all the people die every year, about one third of them pass out at home, one third in hospitals, and the others loose their lives while struggling in ambulances, according to a survey conducted by Chinese Academy of Social Sciences. It is miserable of those people to die in fears without preparation. Everyone deserves a happy ending of life. That is the first reason why hospice is of notable significance to China, a country bearing a death toll of 9,000,000 per year. At hospices, terminal patients receive both physical and mental care, accept the truth of death and carry out last wishes. In that way all those patient will leave the world peacefully and dignifiedly without regrets. Less sufferings, more harmony.

Another reason for the notable significance of hospice to China is that the widespread of hospice will lead to improvements in the civil ideology, particularly in the perception of death. In 2008, primarily by means of questionnaires, I conducted a research on public opinions on hospice in China with my group, finding out that a large percentage of survey participants in Beijing considered death horrible and avoided mentioning it, and that of senior citizens is even higher. All the time the issue of death distracts Chinese people; hospice exactly explains death in acceptable ways for example, death is a part of life which is as splendid as the others. Getting to know hospice and acknowledge it, more the Ages in China will live in peace and comfort in their old age, other people will face death calmly and respect life. The evolution of ideology will definitely result in enrichments of civil spiritual lives.

China needs hospice. For two years I have been volunteering in Chaoyangmen Hospital 2nd inpatient area, one of the most prestigious hospices in Beijing. I have heard the elderly crying, sensed their loneliness, and witnessed two of them died. Although having ripen in the last 20 years from its present in China, hospice, is still wanting. I myself is pretty clear about the importance of hospice to China, and I really hope to make contributions to it, more than being a volunteer.