Undergraduate / "understanding and appreciation of the diversity of our world" - Colby Supplement [3]

Prompt: Briefly discuss your reasons for applying to Colby

When choosing a college, the first thing I considered as the most important aspect of any college is the way it celebrates diversity; diversity in cultural and religious backgrounds, personality, political views and so on. Studying in an international school for almost 8 years now, I have developed a dynamic understanding and appreciation of the diversity of our world. Such an environment has made me realize that a melting pot of races result in a melting pot of opinions and ideas that creates a vibrant and energetic community. You could say diversity has become an inspiring addiction for me; from music performances and artistic displays to presentations and essays in class, I am continuously amazed by how differently one can express one's self, and how strongly one's cultural background can influence their various forms of expression. Such an exposure has in turn allowed me to be more critical and creative in my work, and encouraged me to look through other people's perspectives rather than just my own. Thus, I chose Colby not just because I was impressed by it's statistically high percentage of international students, but also because of how Colby embraces such a diverse community, and I have to say for me now after those unforgettable 8 years, there is no turning back. should I say instead: There's no turning back for me", or "i can't turn back"?

I see alot of loopholes which I don't know how to fix T_T but I hope my argument makes sense. It's not per say a very "artistic" response...so do leave any comments you can. Thanks!

Undergraduate / "to discover the personality of a college" - Vassar Supplement [5]

Prompt: HOW DID YOU LEARN ABOUT VASSAR AND WHAT ASPECTS OF OUR COLLEGE DO YOU FIND APPEALING?

I try to discover the personality of a college in order to understand it as a whole. So when I was handed an information booklet of Vassar, not only was I impressed by the booklet's information of outstanding people and events happening in the college, I was fascinated by how it is presented; the artistic and intimate layout of information captures the essense of the college through the perspective of exceptional individuals perfectly, giving an all-rounded insight of Vassar: bold, brimming with diversity, and challenging boundaries in every aspect. This, is what makes Vassar appealing to me.

(494 characters)

I am successful in fitting in everything I would like to say, but again I feel like I'm missing the punch :(
Do help me out; all comments welcomed. :)

Undergraduate / "Dragonflies and Common Redbolts" - CommonApp Essay for US Universities [NEW]

So this is my commonapp essay; I had it checked by several people but I am still slightly worried that it's not delivering a good enough punch, especially at the end; so now I turn to you guys :S

All comments welcomed.

Prompt: Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.(250 words minimum)

Two days after a heavy torrential storm, I revisited a pond by a nearby park.
As part of a biology investigation, I have been visiting this pond for several weeks now. Up till the recent changes in weather, this pond -though rather brackish and dull- often swarms with large quantities of dragonflies that vary in colours and sizes. As much as I detested waking up early in the morning to keep on schedule with my data collection, the fascinating sight of these active flyers speeding in all directions within and around the pond rewarded my persistence.

However this morning told a different story. Masses of lotus plants that once blanketed the water surface were now sunken into the muck, like unfortunate fishing boats wrecked at sea. Sand and dirt from a nearby construction site had been washed into the pond, rendering it cloudy and unnervingly bright orange in colour. Several plants at the pond's edges were bent over or uprooted, their leaves literally rotting at the edges. Worse of all, the dominant dragonfly species in this pond, the blue sprites, were nowhere to be seen. It was quite painful to see a pond in such a desolate state, and have such majestic insects once so common disappear within a matter of days.

But after several minutes as the sun emerged from behind the clouds, the pond was quickly swarmed by a previously less abundant species: Common redbolt. These much larger dragonflies filled the sky, colonizing the devastated pond that I thought the storms would have rendered unlivable.

In amazement, I watched how quickly Common Redbolts seized the opportunity to move in and multiply where the blue sprite dragonflies had previously inhabited. I realized how aggressive for life and swift to recover from devastation the Redbolts were. Their resilience was shown though their ability to make use of what was left of their habitat, which now had so little in-water vegetation left, as well as water so poor in quality that most other species of dragonfly larvae would have suffocated. I reflected back on the countless events in my life where I too encountered difficult setbacks; complications during my Project Week in Nepal, falling sick during Singapore National Swimming Competitions, fund-raising for Himalayan global concerns and surfing on the waves of ever suffocating piles of work which never ceased in the last two years. However with strong focus and determination, I succeeded in persevering though such tough times.

As the sunlight peaked at it's intensity I watched the redbolts clash vigorously between territorial fights again and again and came to realize then life would throw unlimited obstacles in my path to make me fall flat on my face, but I have to pick myself up again and continue making my path in life and emerge like the Common Redbolts did from storms and murky waters to fly high into the sky and achieve goals unbounded.