Undergraduate / Mrs Fryman helped me come out of my shell - A&M Essay A [3]

Hey guys
I have to write a college app essay on a person who influenced me and i wrote it on my freshman year teacher. However, I'am having a lot of trouble expressing myself in this essay. I'am feeling very hopeless at this point. I would really appreciate some tips :)

Speaking Up

I vividly remember my first day in teen leadership class. I had never heard of such a class and wondered what I would learn in there. Since it was my first day at the school, I was guided by a student aide to my new classroom. As I entered the class, my heart began to pound in my chest. Twenty pairs of unfamiliar eyes turned to look at me and I immediately felt self-conscious. I hurried along to the teacher's desk where Mrs. Fryman was seated and handed her my schedule to explain to her that I was a new student. After examining the schedule, Mrs. Fryman looked up at me and gave me a warm smile.

I remember dreading going to her class during the first few days as I had learned that we were required to do some public speaking in that class. But it wasn't long before I started to feel at ease in her class. Mrs. Fryman was expressive, energetic and had the ability to make anyone laugh with her stories. Her infectious enthusiasm rubbed off on all her students especially on me. Having moved from a different country, I felt out of place in the school. I had left behind friends, familiar places and everything else that I had grown up with and had to start over in a whole new world. Mrs. Fryman more than any other person in the school seemed to understand what I was going through and she went out of her way to make me feel welcome in her class. She sensed that I was shy and she encouraged me every day by giving me one of her sweet smiles. Moreover, she got me to open up to my classmates by encouraging me to talk about myself. She pushed me gently to speak up more in class and participate in discussions. Public speaking had always been challenging for me, but with Mrs. Fryman's help, I slowly learned to face my fears and I began to break out of the shell that I had used to hide myself from everyone else.

At the end of the year, we had to give a speech in front of our classmates for a final grade. Although, I had spoken in class various times throughout the year, this time was different because I had to speak for a considerable amount of time. I was filled with consternation at the thought and I decided to turn to Mrs. Fryman for help. I wrote my speech and showed it to her. After reading it, Mrs. Fryman looked up to me and said, "I think you have a lot to say. Don't let anything stop you for speaking your mind". Her words had profound impact on me. I soon became determined to step out of my comfort zone and give the best speech that I could. On the day of the speech, I went up in front of my class determined to not let my fear get hold of me. I was able to give my speech but halfway through, I froze. My mouth dried up and I desperately tried to find the words to continue my speech. Then I looked up and found Mrs. Fryman face among the faces of my classmates. She smiled at me just like she had at the first day of school and I recalled what she had said to me. I cleared my throat and began speaking again, louder and more confidently. When I finished my speech, I was received with applaud from the whole classroom. After class, Mrs. Fryman pulled me and gave me hug. She made me promise to speak up more.

Now as a senior ready to go to college, when I look back at my freshman year, I'm surprised by how much I have grown as a person in just three years. A lot of that credit belongs to Mrs. Fryman. She encouraged me to believe in my own abilities and helped me overcome my fear of public speaking. Her influence on me didn't end in her class. Since then, I have become more confident in expressing my opinions in front of other people. I' am no longer the shy, awkward kid I was before I was in Mrs. Fryman's class.

Undergraduate / Moving to new places has helped me be the person I'am today - Common App essay [3]

Hey guys!
This my crappy first draft for the common app. I' am really close to the app deadline and i need help urgently. Please feel free to criticize my essay and give suggestions.

I resented my parents. How could they be so heartless? My parents had announced to me their decision to move to a new place. "But it's my senior year", I whined for the millionth time. My dad had been offered a new job which meant that I would have to go to a new school. I spent hours feeling sorry for myself at the thought on not being able to graduate from high school with the people I had gotten to know.

This was not the first time I was moving to a new place. Growing up, I had moved around a lot. My whole life, I had been moving from one apartment to another, switching schools frequently. I had been the new kid so many times that I started to feel that I might be stuck with that label forever. It was not easy being the new kid and nobody knew that better than I did. I had switched schools so frequently that I would joke with my friends how my life was jinxed because I had never stayed in one school for more than two years. My whole life felt like a never-ending train ride. In my short life of 17 years, I had lived in so many different places that I often felt that I do not belong anywhere. The hardest part was leaving behind friends and having to start all over again in a new environment where I didn't know a single soul.

During my freshman year of high school, I moved to United States. This move was perhaps the most significant because unlike other places I had been to this was a completely new world for me. The whole culture was foreign to me. I had moved thousands of miles away from instead of moving from one city to another. I remember the first day at high school, sitting alone at lunch, feeling that I would never fit in anywhere.

Moving is hard but I have discovered that in many ways it has helped me become the person I 'am today. Moving to all the different places has brought me in contact with so many cultures and different people. Most importantly, by learning to adjust in all the different places, I have grown in to a more resilient person.

In the end, I don't resent my parents. I realize that their decision to move was made out of the right intentions. As my parents, they are always looking for something better for their children and I 'am grateful to them for that. So after a week of whining and angry glares, I give my parents a break and start preparing to move once again. Moving to a new school during my senior year is tough. But I' am determined to overcome any challenges that come in my way and make the best of my senior year.

P.S: this is not my final draft. I know this needs a lot of work. This is just kinda the basic idea of how my essay will look like. I would really really appreciate any suggestions. Thanks in advance!

Undergraduate / A cashier at McDonald's - Not the most excting job - Common app short answer [3]

Hey guys! This is my short answer and I would appreciate some feedback on it.
I'm really close to the deadline and i need to put this essay on the common app real soon so please tell me if there is anything i should fix on here.

My sophomore year, I held a job as a cashier at McDonald's to save up money for my first car. It wasn't the most exciting job in the world. My main duties involved taking orders from customers, operating the cash register and frequently wiping ketchup off of tables. I would come back home with grease clinging to my clothes and the smell of fries emanating from me for the rest of the day. The pay was minimum and the work was often monotonous. However, looking back, I 'am grateful for the opportunity I had at my job to interact with all kinds of people and develop relationships with my coworkers. My job at Mcdonald's gave me a taste of what it would be like to stand on my own feet as I learned to manage and handle my own money. Initially, I had looked down at the thought of working at a fast food restaurant, but the experience I gained made me realize how a seemingly mundane job can have its own rewards.