Writing Feedback / the 20th page of Time magazine. [2]

I know it's really long. I appreciate all ur helps! TKS A LOT!!! Good luck to all of us!!![/b]

The 20th page of Time Magazine
[b]"The sun is rising in the clear blue sky, starting a beautiful Sunday yet the busiest time at JYG coffee shop. As usual, the owner makes a careful check on the materials for food and drinks, and the beautiful flowers for decoration before welcoming the first guest of the day. When everything is sure to be at its best, the shop opens, and people start to come, have a delicious breakfast, and enjoy their weekends in comfort. I am enjoying myself here, too, with a cup of freshly ground coffee. It is no wonder that everybody likes it here. They feel at peace with the lively and cozy atmosphere, being treated with civility at all times. It helps people get their rhythm this early in the morning. Just looking at this excellent shop, hardly can anyone imagine that its owner is just a young girl who had to take the rough with the smooth to build up her own business like this".

It seems like you will have to be on the go all day.
Though sometimes I find it really hard just to find a second to sit down and enjoy my own coffee, I feel alive and energetic running around in my shop.

Look, is it true that you did start this all alone?
Well, it is quite a long story. This shop has been my lifelong dream. When most of my friends like the atmospheric music with fast beat and snappy tune of the U.S' music, or the bluesy but dreamy and lyrical melody of the UK's songs, only K-pop (Korean music) aroused my interest in such a way that I was so determined to popularize it more. So when I have just graduated from University, I immediately tried to make my dream come true. You can say that I started this JYG coffee shop from nothing but my passion for K-pop and for connecting people.

Wow, impressive!
Yeah, it might. But the idea seemed to be crazy at first and no one believed it. I met strong opposition from all my dearest people, parents, friends and my little sister, who had been unconditionally supporting and trusting my choices. They thought that after I had spent all those years being busily engaged myself in many activities in ..., that impossible childhood dream of mine was finally forgotten while in fact it had never left my heart and mind. I have to say that it was one of the toughest challenges in my life.

So how did you make them change their mind?
It is just that they all realized that the very purpose of my entering ... was to be trained to be a businesswoman who can put her education into action. I was so determined to show the world what I had got then.

Were there any difficulties after that?
Oh, yes. I flew to Korea on countless occasions to get access to three most prestigious entertainment companies for a co-operation. Actually, "JYG"- the shop's name, stands for one letter of each company JTunes - JYP - YG. You know, it is not easy for a girl to do business abroad all by herself. It was another difficult challenge for me. All those I was designated to meet shared with my parents and friends the doubt about my sounding-frivolous suggestion. Being the biggest companies in the entertainment industry, they could not risk their name doing business with just a young girl like me. It occurred to them that the suggestion might just be a joke, or else a fugitive thought from an immature person.

So what did you do then?
I had to prove myself all over again. My abiding passion for K-pop and for actualizing my dream was such that it indicated I had a thorough knowledge of K-pop and I knew for sure what I want to do and can do with that. They found that the fresh ideas I came up with turned out to crystallize into a definite strategy, which made these companies reconsider my proposal. Finally, I let my display of managerial competence and natural aptitude for dealing the challenges do the rest. They all said that my boldness to take risks and my genuine willingness to learn and to try awakened reminiscences of themselves years ago, And that was how I got to claim full rights over all the latest products - albums, posters, souvenirs, ... - of the three Korea's biggest entertainment magnates in Vietnam.

What do you call this, a great success of a young girl or a dream that came true?
No, I know it is just the tip of the iceberg. Though, many customers come to enjoy drinks, food and K-pop combined, my very aim is not to own a profit-making business but to create a place where people can come to share their interest in K-pop and more importantly, to make good friends. I believe that connecting divergent people is the first step to connect different cultures in the world. I want to be the "leader in connection" one day, who not only proudly introduce my beloved Vietnam to the world but also associate people together.

Oh, it is already near the end. Do you have any advice for our young folks?
I just want them to know that it even took me two years to apply successful to ... The fact that I had never been the student who got top scores for the SAT test or the exemplary one who can give a speech at school's graduation ceremony had never make me lose my passion and my sense of self- assertion. I am no superior to you. I prefer the idea that I am different and do not give up easily. I am now own by myself. I want to tell everyone that even people who lead a perfectly normal life can do a special thing to change the world. It is this way or the other, and my way is to change it with the beginning of a shop. Who knows what will be waiting at the end of the world! Now it is your turn, guys!

Thank you for your interesting sharing! Five or ten years it may take, your raw determination indicates that you can make it no matter what you do.

Undergraduate / (a famous mandarin in Vietnam) tell an important tradition [NEW]

I wrote this at 2am, so I know there are still a lot of mistakes. And I need to cut out some words, too. I really appreciate your help. Please feel free to be harsh on this. I'll try to help you guys if you need me. Tks a lot and good luck to all of us :X:X:X

We honor the many different forms of diversity in our community. Your perspective is valuable because it comes from your life experiences, family background, culture, and traditions. Please tell us about a tradition that is important to you that comes from your family, community, or culture (250 words).

It was the story about Mạc Đĩnh Chi - a famous mandarin in my beloved country - that any Vietnamese person can tell. We all learned about him on our very first day at school. Mạc Đĩnh Chi was so poor that he could not afford to go to school. In the morning, he could just stand silently outside the class, while grazing the buffaloes, listening to the teacher; and when the dark came, he would catch fireflies and put them in an eggshell to light up. Having nothing to write down, he used a small stick to write on the ground. And all his efforts to study finally paid off when he became the first doctoral candidate of both Vietnam and China. Mạc Đĩnh Chi was just one of many examples about the hallowed tradition of great fondness for learning the Vietnamese people are possessed of. We, all the Vietnamese, have grown up with stories like this being engraved in our heart and mind. Just like Mạc Đĩnh Chi, we have a thirst for knowledge, we make every ounce of effort to satisfy that unquenchable thirst and we steel ourselves for holding our ground whenever facing hardships. Being imbued with all anecdotes, the new Vietnamese generation are doing their best to make the beautiful name "Vietnam" known worldwide. We can now actively engage ourselves in bigger communities, the ones that are different from ours. In that way, I believe that our knowledge, our confidence and our independence will grow with the passage of time.

Undergraduate / watching the same episode, the babysitter, the messager, gap-year student [3]

Plz, be harsh !!! Any comments are appreciated, indeed. Maybe it's a little too long, help me to cut it out and suggest a title. Can u help me to choose a better word (where I typr in red). TKS A LOT !!! Good luck u guys, I'll help u if u need :D

There it is. He is running again. It is almost the same whenever I tune in this channel. He is running again ...
"Sis, are you watching the same episode again? What do those people keep running all the time? What kind of film is that?" - my four year-old cousin claims her attention.

"No, this is a new, Chi. It's "The fugitive. Plan B". Of course they should run to make the fugitive." - I slowly explain, hoping she can get some idea of it. "Anyway, there will be no fugitive anymore", I said to myself.

The film will be over soon, yet he is still running. Losing himself once, he now has to set out on the journey to find his self back to the very end. After all, we human have to move non-stop and restlessly on the way of proving ourselves. Every time he runs, my little cousin will ask me thousands things. Her posing the questions and my providing the answers, that is how we have been lived through this summer.

I - the babysitter.

Chi is my uncle's only kid. Summer has finally come when every nursery school will close for at least a month. I then became her babysitter. This summer was very special to both of us: Chi's first summer as a student (though just a nursery one) and my first one not as student anymore. Actually, taking a gap year was my last resort after I failed to find a scholarship to go study abroad. This decision of mine came up with strong opposition from other family members right from the start. My parents' worries about a long-term derailment turned out to be unnecessary. All the time I have spent with Chi was a real challenge. Dealing with a child who keeps asking "why" is not easy at all. Chi's questions require much knowledge to answer, a little of science, like "Why does my mother make me eat stewed bitter melon?", or some about the society and morality, such as "My teacher said that stealing is not good, but why do people still steal?". But what's worth the challenge was that my answers should be perfectly understandable to a four year old. I hate it when it comes to questions like ""Why must a model have flat belly?". I have to cudgel my brains to give her a reasonable answer. If not, I can hardly have a peaceful moment with her. And Chi's questions make my days/ make a day of it.

I - the messager.

"Sis, grandpa told you to send our family pictures to uncle Vitaly. Did you?", Chi always remembers what grandpa told her.
"I did, and Uncle sent a letter back. Oh, I forgot to print that. Maybe tomorrow."
Vitaly was my late uncle's Russian friend. After many years of losing contact, we managed to keep in touch. As I can't expect my eighty-year-old grandpa to sit at the computer and use Skype for the chitchat, I became his messager, helping him to exchange emails, photos or update on our life. I, therefore, could know more about Russia: food, the people and their traditions. Learning about a culture that is totally different from ours is interesting, yet boasting about our Vietnamese culture to him is more than enjoyable to me.

I - myself - a gap-year student.

"Chi, I have my Korean class at 5:15 and our national football team is playing tonight, in the semifinal. I have to go now. Remind grandpa to watch the game and ask him to sing the chorus of our national anthem for you. You must learn it by heart if you want to join the parade to celebrate our victory tonight, ok?"

"But the game has not even started yet", Chi asks back.
"I have confidence that we will win this game. We will have our second championship very soon."
I then rush to my Korean class. There is still a lot to do tonight. Who says gap year can leave a void in life. It is not that I remain in the same place, idly sitting around doing nothing. I am still moving forward and learning, not at school but from real life. I have been able to know another world in the eye of a four year old, trying to explain everything in a different way from what people usually think; I have learned another language and known more about another culture, singing along K-pop songs ; I have listened to stories of a family friend who was, at first, just a stranger from a Russia far away, finding myself surprised at the great love a foreigner can share with me for my beloved Vietnam. I got a chance to deal with many people, the first step to realize my dream to connect cultures from over the world. In fact, I have been given/ granted too much during this gap year. Being a fugitive will get me nowhere to get over the fear of failing again. And I myself know very well that I can now hold my ground/ stand on my own feet , ready to give back and share with the world the wonderful things I have got.

Undergraduate / "academic achievements and all the reputation" - WHY RICE? [4]

What motivated you to apply to Rice University? Please be specific and limit your response to 200 words (1500 characters).[/i]

[i]This is my first draft so there may be still a lot of mistakes. And I can still write 2 more sentences, if you think I should add something to be more convincing, please feel free to say. I appreciate all your help. Tks you guys!!!

Believe it or not, I first knew about Rice not as a prestigious but as one of the most beautiful universities in the US and "Rice" was quite strange a name for a university, at least to me. But it was only when I came across with a Rice student's video about her Hispanic Culture show that I did more research about Rice. I have always dreamed of the similar: I would have my own culture show in the university where I can shout out my name to the world and proudly introduce my Vietnamese culture to my international friends.

Rice University, not to mention the great academic achievements and all the reputation you have got, is where I believe to satisfy my thirst for knowledge. A gorgeous campus that help free my mind to think outside the box, small-sized classes that make me want to actively engaged in round-table talks to share with my friends our different perspectives from our own life experience; what else can I expect!

PS: This is my first time using this. If I violate any regulations about starting a thread, plz let me know. Thank you !!!