Essays / Where to start? Essay on educational and career goals / achievements. [9]

you can start off by giving a lil details about yourself and your background (as in where you come from etc)... then tell them how those experiences shaped up your goals...

Undergraduate / A degree from the School of Engineering at Virginia Polytechnic and State University [6]

hmm in that case a nice structure would be>> tell them about an incident from your life that affected you alot. then go on and explain how that experience shaped up your goals and ambitions.. a bit about what you have already done towards achieving your goals.. and then connect how the scholarship would help you in realizing your goals..

in your case, it'd be good if you can start with how you developed an interest in the math/science field rather than just stating they have always been your strength. any incidents (if there are any) which gave you clear goals for the future.. a lil detail about what you have already done in order to prepare for studying engineering at VT.. like any enrichment programs, contests, workshops you took part in... or even better, things you did on your own, taking the initiative.. you have given a good description of your goals.. so i'd say explain a bit more about how the scholarship would help you... (i hope this essay doesn't have a word limit of about 300 words??)

Undergraduate / "see me dancing everywhere" - tell us about yourself short essay [4]

ok now the main problem i see with this is that you have almost completely ignored the second part of the topic: why would you like to become a part of our school family. when a college asks you a question like that, you should do some research on the college and tell them what do you can find in that college which cannot be found in other colleges.. in short be specific about what attracts you to that particular college... writing all about yourself throughout the essay and finally squeezing a line about how you hope to get a good education there ain't gonna do it... first tell about your self and then about half way through connect it to how you think that college will help you in achieving your goal... it says "part of our school family" so i'm guessing that it's a college with a good community spirit? if so it'd be better if you can include something which relates to that...

other than there are a few language problems you should correct... good luck!

Undergraduate / A degree from the School of Engineering at Virginia Polytechnic and State University [6]

you should've mentioned the topic of the essay as well.. hard to comment on something when you don't know what's expected of the essay... anyhow i'm assuming this is an essay asking why you want to study engineering at VT. if that's the case, you should be more specific as to which programs in VT suits & interests you and why..and rather than merely stating that you've taken the most out of the opportunities, it's better if you can give an example where you took use of an opportunity to pursue an interest of yours or helped make a difference... others than that, it's well written as i see it.. good luck!

Undergraduate / "Computer Science program" - Bates College Supplement [2]

erm it's better if you can include something from the CS course which made you go for Bates. Tell them why you think their CS program is phenomenal rather than just stating that their CS program is phenomenal. They'd wanna see that you actually bothered to learn about their courses and stuff. Elite labs and small classes aren't a rarity among colleges. So it might be a bit weak point.

Undergraduate / MIT short answer (a busy life, full of activities) [3]


That part is useless. It's ok to start the answer saying you enjoy cooking. But it's such a waste to go on describing how wonderful it is for about half the essay. You have 100 words and you must try and squeeze in much information about you to those 100 words. Try to include details about what you like to cook, who inspired you, how and when did you learnt to cook, what you feel when you're cooking etc.. you get the idea right?

Undergraduate / "I play Classical music on the piano" - MIT - What do you do for the pleasure of it? [7]

I think the 2nd one is alright. But try rearranging some of the sentences. It's a 100 word short answer. There's nothing much you can do with that is there? The best you could do is make sure you include the information you feel that MIT should know. Trying to include too many small details would mean you'd end up not being able to convey the important details. MIT is trying to get to know you better. So putting up something that you think would impress them is useless. They might not even tally with the other parts of your application. Well that's how I see it anyways..

Essays / Have problems with the introducation on the global impact essay / school [8]

I think it's asking which aspect of school life would impact you the most. For example do you think academics will be the biggest impact or will it be extra curricular or even social life at the school. After selecting the area, give the reasons why you think the selected area will impact you the most. Ask someone else and see, just to be sure :D

Undergraduate / "a city in Saudi Arabia" world you come from and how did it shape your dreams? MIT [6]

erm that last part is not clear. What do you mean by "being one of the elite" ?? And what's ARAMCO??? You've done a good job in the first part of the essay but when it comes to this last part I'm confused. You have to make sure the reader understands the details in your essay..

good luck :)

Undergraduate / "want to major in Engineering" Which department at MIT appeals to you and why ? [12]

1mPeRvI0uS was being sarcastic. MIT is known throughout the world (I'm an international applicant :D) as one of the best universities in the world for engineering (ranked no 1 actually). Obviously most of the students who are applying would be doing engineering. You've got to be very specific. The question clearly states WHICH DEPARTMENT!! So saying that you want to study engineering (and in a uni known mostly for engineering) is gonna sound lame and might even give the impression that you didn't put much of an effort in to it. You mentioned graphs. So I'm guessing you'll be going for a maths major? Then say it clearly. Tell them why you want to study maths and it'd be good if you can include a bit about what you want to do with that knowledge as well. Personally, I wouldn't have bothered to give much details about the calculator. Instead use that precious space to convince them that you're passionate about your subject (show it!! now just tell!).

good luck with it :)