Writing Feedback / TOEFL - Music bring numerous benefits to human being [4]

People listen to music for different reasons and at different times. Why is music important to many people?

My essay.

Can you imagine a life without music?.Without them life would be silence, less joy and darker time.I believe that music are significant to people life in many ways such as, entertainment,

job, and language training.

Firstly,whenever you go to the party music is obviously necessary as it could enhance the atmosphere of the party or even in the club if there is no music people would feel bored and no entertainment at all.Most people often look for the place that would make them relax when the are stress or tense and that usually be a place where there is music that they can entertain with friends and family.

Secondly,for some people music is a way to live for instance, singers, composers, and musicians. Music are definitely importanct because they earn money from that field.Eventhough some people can earn very few in some day but they are still cheerful because this job is not stress instate they fine it more interesting and fun compare to anyother job. Moreover,nowadays you can also see that many people enter to the singing contest like american idol is one great example of it.

Finally,listening to music is essential to people life in term of language training as well.Music have many languages and we can also learn from there.For example,since I was young I often want to speak and write english well ,but I dont have enough money to take english course.So my mom advise me to listen english songs everyday especially to the pop songs because it has good meaning and you can hear clear english.Whenever I listen to the songs there is usually lyric on my hand.Since than I can speak and write english well.

To sum up,music bring numerous benefits to human being and these are some part to the reasons.I still believe in old saying which goes "music are one of the core values in many people lives."

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I dont know whether I have write this essay according to the topic and I dont have any idea about conclusion.Is this conclusion is okay?.If anyone know please kindly give me some idea.

And ya about "language training" I dont know what word should I use.Anyone know?...Any thing that I should improve please comment. Please grade my essay or you can also score for me like out of 10 how much will I get?.

Thank you very much in advance,
Candy

Writing Feedback / "whenever there is problem they can help each other" -the quality of a good neighbor? [4]

Neighbors are the people who live near us.In your opinion,what are the qualities of a good neighbor?.

My essay.

Neighbors the first thing that come up in my mind is that they are part of our daily lives because we meet them almost everyday.I believe that everyone want to have good neighbors

so that whenever there is problem they can help each other.In my opinion a good neighbors will be those who are respectful, friendly, and helpful.

First of all,in order to live in a peaceful environment respect is the most important quality of being a good neighbors.They should not disturb our privacy or space.For example,when they park car they should not take over space that other don't have any space to park because this will make conflict between themself.Moreover,a good neighbors always give respect by not opening a loud music that would bother other as well as not throwing thing unnessary that spoil natural beauty of the area.Therefore, respect is the major quality of the good neighbors.

Secondly,friendly is also other quality of good neighbors because there are always there for you whenever you are alone.For example,I live in a apartment alone for alomost 7 years and currently I still live in apartment.On the first week I felt very lonely because it's a new place for me. However,I was luckily that I met very nice neighbors because they never make me feel alone and right now they are like one of my close friends.Whenever we have holidays we usally come up with doing some thing like go shopping, swimming,watch movie and etc.

Finally,I think that helpfulness is a characteristic that everyone should have because if we help each other than we should not fear about any thing whenever there is any problem in your home area, apartment or any where.Take the example of mine,once I went to my friends birthday party and I came back to room around mid night.That time I was very tired and I lost my room key.So there was noone to help except my neighbor so I call her to help me.I though she would angry me because I wake her at mid night,but instead she help me and get new key for me.Importantly she smile at me and encourage me that this thing happened to everyone.

So for me respectful, friendly, and helpful are the qualification that I believe good neighbors should have and I think that you can find these qualification once you start respect,helpful and be friendly with other first.

Writing Feedback / A person you know is planning to move to your town or city (Bangkok, Thailand) [6]

A person you know is planning to move to your town or city.what do you think this person would like and dislike about living in your town or city?.Why?.

( Please give me some comment about this essay)

My hometown is a bangkok city,Thailand.It is a very beautiful place and there are a lot of people moving here and there all the time.I believe that my friend,Nicky will definitely love to live in my city due to many reasons.

The first and probably the most important reason is there are many place to travel.Since nicky love to travel so I think it would benefit her. In thailand,you can travel during day and night time.In day time she can visit many beautiful temples,such as wat phra kaew,wat traimitr or even visiting wat pho.There are not only temple but there are also many places to visit like department store,floating market,deam world and etc.Moreover,at night she can enjoy night life by going to club or pub.There are also night bazaar which you can see many things for example, souvenir, cloth, thai dress, foods , drinks and etc,

Besides that,in my city there are higher opportunity in term of education and job.There are many popular universities in my city such as chulalongkorn,thammasat or mahidol university and there are also many popular public and private schools as well.Furthermore,in term of job there are many job available and you can easily find on the internet.In my city there are also easy access transportation eventhough trafic jam is the main problem in bangkok ,but there are sky train to reach in the place on time.There are many apartments in my city and some of them are near the sky train.

To sum up,Thailand is the land of smile.People are kind and always respect to each other.I believe that my friend nicky would not feel bore or regret once she move in my city.