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Posts by eating105
Joined: Feb 19, 2011
Last Post: Mar 9, 2011
Threads: 2
Posts: 3  

From: Taiwan

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Mar 9, 2011

please give my suggestion about my essay. Thanks a lot.
title: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? A job with more vacation time is better than a job with high salary but less vacation time.

Some people think money is everything so that they are willing to work for all day and sacrifice their vacations; however, others disputes this phenomenon because they say the life is short and don't waste the time on your boring job. As for me, I agree with that a job with more vacation time is better than a job with high salary but less vacation.

First of all, if you work too hard without enough rest, you will get sick not only in the physiological status, but also in your mental condition, even though with plentiful salary. Working hard can run your energy out, make you exhausted, and the only way to save you from the mud of being in bad spirit is go on vacation. I used to take it as the most important thing to earn money by which it can satisfy with all my want and push me become the wealth, before. The first three years after just graduating, I found a higher-salary position, arriving at my office at eight o'clock every morning, starting to work and shutting down my computer until the midnight, even extending my working hours on the weekend. Finally, I had illness severely, staying at home for the whole month, even was given an injection for my immune system recovery and rook medicine for reducing my anxiety. Those days being on the bed let me realize how important it was to be health and money never bought it anymore if I lost it. Hence, a job with less resting time may destroy your body under your unconsciousness no matter how strong you are.

Second, enjoying your vacation can add colors into your life. At those days for working days and nights, I missed lots of opportunities to hang out with my families and friends. All around me were related to the dull and tasteless business affairs. Gradually, my friends didn't invite me to their reunion because I chose my work. But, I'm changed now, knowing to arrange a date meeting my old companies, as well as to have a trip around the world for making new friends. Comparing to the days with all-day working hard in the past, I become happier and more optimistic. What I do during my vacation right now enriches my living value and refills my mind, also, earn my friendships back.

In sum up, from the discussions above, although money is useful to get some luxuries, some things you still can't afford it except you have enough free time, such as your health, friendships, or life experience. Thus, I believe totally that picking up a job with more vacation time is a preferable option.
Mar 9, 2011
Writing Feedback / Toefl - It would be tragic if we put the wrong metric on judging people (external appearance) [4]

I hope the suggestions as follows can be helpful for your test.
In the begining of the second paragraph, you can add the topic sentense to make your stance more clearly.
First, it is impossible to know the person's real personality just from his/her external appearance. When two peoples come across each other for the first time....

Perhaps someone would say that people's characteristic would be reflected directly on his/hertheir appearances. However, as I see it, I consider this statement is lack of evidence to be proved correct.that there is less evidence to prove this statement.
Mar 9, 2011
Writing Feedback / TOEFL - Parents are the best teachers? No, it does not hold for every case! [5]

give you some suggestion about this essay; first, simplify your introduction and do not give too many examples in that paragraph.
In the first paragraph, you should point out your attitude about the statement directly. And then give some ideas and examples to support
your stand in the following part of the article. ^^
Feb 19, 2011
Writing Feedback / Students usually love a teacher with humor - he is closer to his students and teaches better [4]

TOEFL: "a serious and strict teacher is more effective than a teacher with humor"

Hello, I'm Ellen, is a new comer overhere. I am preparing for TOEFL recently and I have a hard time writing an essay. Could you give me some advice about my essay and writing skills? Thanks a lot.

title: Do you agree or disagree a serious and strict teacher is more effective than a teacher with humor and is easygoing

When it comes to the topic, some people think students can get the best and the most efficient learning by a serious and strict teacher's teaching, but others dispute with that. In my opinion, I also disagree with that a serious and strict teacher is more effective than a teacher with humor and is easygoing.

On one hand, students usually love a teacher with humor and being easygoing because they are funny, close to students, full of creativity internally, and they are not bored like students' parents. Thus, a vivid teaching style is brought into school life by a teacher with these kind of characteristic. For example, Alice, the English teacher in my high school, is smart, humorous and kind. She always said that language is living, rather than dead, so the only way to become a bilingual naturally is learning second language through games. In her class, we read English teenager novels, enjoying the beauty of the literature. Even, we made a stage play in English. Alice really inspired our enthusiasm and great interest in learning language by her unique teaching. Hence, students can get the biggest benefits in studying when they meet a teacher whom they are easy to get along with.

On the other hand, a serious and strict teacher may induce students' fear and dislike, and this uncomfortable may push students to give up their studying. I had this experience when I was a child. My piano teacher is famous not only in her fantastic playing skills, but also in her cool training program. In order to make me be a good piano player, she asked every detail in playing piano, such as to practice for three hours every day, to strengthen and stretch my hand muscles by hold a pan, and tp knocking strongly over my fingers when playing with a wrong musical note. All things related playing piano became my nightmare gradually, so that I skipped the class and then stopped learning piano finally. Thus, it is possible to douse students' passions under the instruction of a serious and strict teacher.

From the discussion above, we know that teachers with different attitude in teaching really bring students totally different impacts. However, according to my two experience, I sincerely contradict that a serious and strict teacher is more effective than a teacher with humor and is easygoing.