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Posts by 123nnt
Joined: Jun 22, 2011
Last Post: Jul 3, 2011
Threads: 4
Posts: 11  

From: Viet Nam

Displayed posts: 15
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123nnt   
Jul 3, 2011
Writing Feedback / 'Understand others' emotion, attitude and feelings' - face-to-face communication is better [2]

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Face-to-face communication is better than other types of communication, such as letters, e-mail, or telephone calls.
Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.


There have been many technological breakthroughs in communication such as telephone or e-mail. They all affect the way we are in touch with other people at some aspects, but they cannot replace the best type of communication: face-to-face interaction. Why? It is because when people are talking directly, they can show and see each others' emotion clearly.

First, face-to-face communication helps us recognize the attitude of the others towards you. Human being is so complex that one can express her emotion and attitude by using hundreds kinds of facial expression. They can show you what they feel about you by moving their eyebrow, smiling...For example, you are telling jokes at a party. You can infer this from people's faces that you are not very good at making people laugh. Therefore, you can adjust your behaviors properly before you make fun of yourself. However, if you use e-mail or instant messages, you simply see texts and it is very hard to know if the others are willing to communicate with you.

Additionally, you can show your emotion and willingness to other people when you talk with them. For instance, a smile can bring a sense of friendliness; therefore, people can talk with you comfortably. You can make friends more easily and the impression about you will stay in people's memories longer. Besides, face-to-face communication can help you reflect yourself a lot. During a discussion, eye contact, posture and speech can show a person's confidence, persistence, ability and determination to win the debate. If you can use these factors effectively, you are likely to get the upper hand. That is a reason why world conferences are not held online. People in important positions from different government gather, in addition to use logical and persuasive language to present their opinions, they also take the advantages of face-to-face communication.

In summation, during a conversation or a meeting, the most important aspect is that people understand each others' emotion, attitude and feelings, and only face-to-face communication can provide this unique feature.

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Thanks a lot for helping me !!!
123nnt   
Jul 3, 2011
Writing Feedback / TOEFL: Universities should give the same amount of money to their students' sports [4]

Hi Linh! I believe that we are from the same country. I'm going to take the TOEFL this July, when will you take the TOEFL?

First and foremost, playing sports is a useful recreation for students after stressful studying in class. Students can choose various kinds of sport such as playing basketball, go swimming and doing aerobic. Instead of going to the bar or disco in which students can be easily addicted to alcohols and drugs, they can go to sports club or the gymnasium to do exercise and learn new skills. For example, I used to engage in basketball club in my college despite not being skillful at playing it. After some time studying diligently from other members, I was chosen to play for an important tournament.

I think the supporting ideas are not effective. In my opinion, you should explain why sports help students reduce stress.

Having a good heath is extremely indispensable to absorb knowledge, so they can learn effectively and effortlessly.

Good point, but there should be further explanation. For example, you can give some information about a research that sports have good effect on students' work at schools.

Through the sport, students not only stretch their muscles but also understand how vital the unity is.

Good point! Since people are in a team, they must understand each others very well to reach their goals.
123nnt   
Jun 30, 2011
Writing Feedback / Work for the company or go for our own business? [6]

HI apieceof! I'm not very good at English so I can't help you very much. Your essay is very good!!

If we worked for others companies through our full lives, we could never fulfill and demonstrate what we are looking forward during our lifetime.

I think this sentence would be:
If we worked for others companies through our full lives, we could never fulfill and demonstrate what we are looking forward to during our lifetime.

Take my close friend-Emma-for example- she has worked in the well-known hi-tech corporation for several years and she never felt satisfied with the company.

Take my close friend-Emma-for example- she has worked in the well-known hi-tech corporation for several years and she never felt satisfied with the company.

selling out all her valuable property such as luxurious house and car for accumulating more capital

selling out all her valuable property such as her luxurious house and car for accumulating more capital

In your first paragraph, I think you should give a few words to explain why you prefer going for your own business to working for the company.

In your second paragraph, you have focused too much on the example (Emma). I think you should add more reasons, supporting ideas in this paragraph.

Your conclusion paragraph doesn't state the main idea in the third paragraph clearly.

This is a topic from TOEFL, right? I'm taking the TOEFL iBT on July 23rd.
Good luck with your study and your life :D
123nnt   
Jun 30, 2011
Writing Feedback / "desire of good employment" - Why people attend college or university? [6]

Okay, this shows your position, but I would love it if the statement also had a few words that suggest the concept of reasoning that leads you to this position.

OK, I will concentrate more on thesis statements.
Again, thanks for helping me :D
123nnt   
Jun 30, 2011
Writing Feedback / Improving roads and highways or improving public transportation? [4]

yes, it's a topic from TOEFL. I get this one from the Official guide to the TOEFL iBT. There are 185 topics in that book.

Thanks everybody a lot, especially EF_Susan!!!
And it's true that an American wastes one week each year in traffic jams (I read an article about traffic jams somewhere, but I can't remember exactly where this article came from)
123nnt   
Jun 29, 2011
Writing Feedback / Improving roads and highways or improving public transportation? [4]

Topic: Should governments spend more money on improving roads and highways, or should governments spend more money on improving public transportation (buses, trains, subways)? Why? Use specific reasons and examples to develop your essay.

Nowadays the amount of traffic has increased rapidly, which leads to big traffic jams every day. There are two main solutions: improving roads, highways and improving public transportation. There have been many debates about which solution we should focus on. In my opinion, upgrading the public transportation system brings more advantages.

First, let's analyze why improving roads and highways is not a good option. As we all know, the number of cars has rose tremendously in the last few decades. Building roads do not solve the puzzle about traffic jams but encourage more and more people use their own cars instead of buses, subways. Moreover, it is very expensive to invest in roads and highways projects, and these projects often bring no good results. When roads or highways are being repaired, construction companies have to close them and people have to use other streets. This can cause a street to be overcrowded with cars; therefore, a lot of people will be stuck in traffic jams. An American wastes about one week each year in traffic jams. Traffic jams make the economy lose a lot of money each year. Cars in traffic jams cannot move, but they continue to emit harmful smoke to the air, which will make the global warming issue more severe.

Another reason why upgrading public transit service is preferable is that it alleviates the environmental issues. If we have good public transportation, more and more people will use buses, subways instead of using cars. The amount of traffic will decrease; therefore, there will be less harmful smoke, the main cause of air pollution and global warming, in the air. Furthermore, we have to know that governments work for the people. Many people in the middle and lower class, who account for large portions in population, use public transportation because the cost is cheap. If we build more roads, only people in the upper class can be beneficial from this. A good government is a government that serves all people, not only a small group of wealthy individuals. If all people use buses or subways, they will be more aware of the sense of community.

Those are the reasons why I think governments should concentrate on improving public transportation. I use buses as much as I can. If we all use buses or subways, this world will be a better world.

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Thanks in advance. I'm trying to write at least one essay a day :D (well, I think this quotation, "practice makes perfect", is true), and there are a lot of essays that are waiting to be posted here! I will need to read and give feedback in other threads a lot.
123nnt   
Jun 29, 2011
Writing Feedback / TOEFL-Smoking should not be promitted in restaurants or other public places [9]

Hi Mingwei, your essay is very good!! I'm not very good at English so I cannot help you with grammar and vocabulary. However, I have some ideas about this topic, and I hope it will help you:

-(For the 4th paragraph in your writing) You can mention the negative effect of smoking in front of children
-(For the second paragraph) Smoke causes lung cancer, ...(you can add more statistics to make your idea more effective)
123nnt   
Jun 29, 2011
Writing Feedback / Email and text messaging threatening the status of written language? [2]

Using the topic as the name of the thread is better than names like "here is my essay of ielts exam. PLS have a look, maybe leave comment below"

I think you should remember to write the first letter in capital after a fullstop and use linkers, like Geenesh has said.
For example:

Firstly, the convenience of Email and text messaging bring to people is enormous, the service of written language is able to provide to us is too poor in comparison.

If you use contrasting linkers such as "however", "while"...in this sentence, it will become better
123nnt   
Jun 29, 2011
Writing Feedback / "desire of good employment" - Why people attend college or university? [6]

They gradually feel comfortable; therefore the develop relationships with...

you mean "therefore, they develop relationships with...", right?
Again, thanks for your help :D
I've rewritten the first paragraph (add a thesis statement at the end of the paragraph) :

We have seen a tremendous increase in the number of people going to university in the last few decades. Why? Has it been for the development of the education system? Do employers require employee to have a higher education? The answer to why more and more people want to have a higher education lies in the hope for a good job in the future.
123nnt   
Jun 26, 2011
Writing Feedback / "desire of good employment" - Why people attend college or university? [6]

"People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increase knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer."

We have seen a tremendous increase in the number of people going to university in the last few decades. Why? Have it been for the development of the education system? Do employers require employee to have a higher education? Let examine several reasons below.

According to many surveys, the main purpose of people when they attend university is to prepare for their future career. Now take a look at employers' opinions. As the world advances in many areas, companies, corporations and organizations require their employees to have deep knowledge of their fields. Imagine that you are a person who only graduates from high school. How can you take such complex, demanding jobs nowadays? It is a belief that if you have no higher education, you can only do manual labor or low-paid jobs. These kinds of occupation often accommodate no promotion or get higher salaries. Moreover, because of this belief, more and more people enroll in colleges and universities each year, which lead to the fact that it is very competitive to be accepted to a job. If you do not receive a higher education, you are in an unfavorable position.

Another reason why people attend college or university is the experiences. Going to universities for 4 years or more help you become mature. For example, every student will feel nervous when they live in a different academic environment - the university. Soon, they will have to change something in their views, thinking, or even characteristics to adapt to this new place. They gradually feel comfortable; therefore developing relationship with other students and professors, participating in campus' activities, which will develop and sharpen their social skills. Thus, they will gain new life experiences. Besides, they also learn about how to prepare for future career by many different ways. For instance, they will learn about cooperation, an important trait that employers need, through group projects and presentations at school. They can also spend 4 years to find their best suitable jobs and research about what companies and corporations consider when they hire new people.

In summation, going to university or college enables people to achieve their desire of good employment in the future by giving them substantial knowledge and experiences.

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Are my reasons effective? Is my writing coherent? I'm going to take the TOEFL test, so please criticize me more and show me which things I need to improve in my writings :D.

Thanks in advance :D
123nnt   
Jun 26, 2011
Writing Feedback / Being happy with a job is more important than having a high salary? [7]

Thanks you guys a lot :D

No, simplicity is powerful! Simplicity is effective. It's okay...

"If you don't makes mistakes, you aren't really trying."

I will remember these :D

I think this forum should add a "Thank" button; otherwise, members will need to post a message to say "thank you"
123nnt   
Jun 23, 2011
Writing Feedback / Being happy with a job is more important than having a high salary? [7]

(I'm going to take the TOEFL iBTŽ test this July, so please help me with my writings. Thanks in advance !!!)

Everyone wants to have a dream job. Many people prefer employment with high salary, while others consider whether they like the jobs or not. If I have to choose between the career with high wages and the one I am happy with, I will choose the latter.

One factor that affects the efficiency of work is the attitude of the employee towards his job. If he loves his career, he will work very hard. If he hates it, there will be a tremendous decrease in efficiency. Even with high salaries, many people refuse to continue their jobs because they feel that they do not fit with what they are doing or the working environment cannot bring them creativity.

An enthusiastic worker is likely to remain in his position for a long time. Therefore, he will collect precious experience and easily get promoted. Being happy with your job motivates you to stay longer with the company and set goals to achieve. On the other hand, if you have to do boring tasks or make risky decisions at work, it is impossible for you to find motivation to further your career.

When you have the job you love, you do not want to jump to another company. This stability enables you to start your future plans. For example, after getting a good employment, you think of saving money to buy a house and build a small family. People who are dissatisfied with their jobs cannot focus on preparing for their future. The first thing they would do is to change their job until they are happy with it.

Well-paid occupations often go with pressure. Pressure can be a minor problem if you find inspiration and motivation in your job. Thus, being contented with what you are doing is always more important than getting a high wage.
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