Undergraduate / "working like slaves" - Essay on diversity for questbridge [3]

I have to write an essay with the following prompt

please describe an experience that illustrates what you would bring to the diversity in a college community, or an encounter that demonstrated the importance of diversity to you

Could you please read it, and tell me if it answers the prompt and editing that i need. Thanks

In between the rustle of the leaves, I distinguished the sound I had been horrified to hear. I glanced over my shoulder to see if anyone else had managed to hear the incoming rattling and squeaking noise I heard. However to my relief, my classmates hadn't seemed to notice. But as the sound grew louder, I began to tremble. Then suddenly the brakes squealed and I knew my ride had arrived. I should have been happy to see my dad but his rusty, gray, old car reminded why I wish I was never picked up. His car stood out among the new svu's every parent seemed to be driving. The car quickly reminded me why I was different from the rest. To me it wasn't just because of the car but it was seemingly everything. At that moment I wanted to be someone else, I wanted to be like all the rich kids I saw. Resisting my desire to run, I kept asking myself, why did I have to be poor?, why did I have to be Hispanic? why did I have to live a different life than everyone else? Shying my face I darted to my car, refusing to look back. I didn't want people to know that I was even more different than I appeared.

I experienced this fear, all the time growing up, and a couple years later many things remain the same. I am still different from most kids; I am still poor, my parents keep working in the same indignant jobs, and they to this day own that gray car. I still have my brown colored skin and I continue to be a Peruvian living in America. Yet one thing has changed, and after maturing and realizing America is a land of diversity, it is this difference that I once abhorred, that I now cherish. I no longer see my difference as limitations; instead I see them as opportunities to a get better. While being poor can seem like an ailment, I see it as motivator, a motivator to succeed and have a chance to do great things with what little I was given. My parents who continue to work like slaves don't embarrass me now, their hard work and sacrifices just make me proud of calling them mom and dad. Even more, my skin that once signaled me out to everyone for being that different kid, the Spanish kid, now points me out for being the Spanish kid who excels in school. My differences are what define and I will never forget of where I came from. When I was younger I tried hiding them, but now I want to tell everyone who I am. As I head off to college, I will take my differences with me I will retain my culture and childhood and remind everyone that in America it is ok to be different. I will prove to everyone that diversity doesn't set the bar of how far on can go, we each set our own bar, and my bar is set really high.

Undergraduate / "The gift they gave me" - questbridge biographical essay [NEW]

I am writting the biographical essay, 800 word limit, there is 820 so i need to delete some, this is just a rough draft but i would like some input.

As the rain poured over the American Runway I wanted to run home, to return to Peru and numb the pain and the emptiness that I felt inside. However my parents kept walking, their eyes remaining fixed forward as if they saw something beyond the fog that lied ahead. At merely 6 years old I was incapable of comprehending why we had come to the U.S. One night, though, I would realize that what seemed to me a selfish act had been the greatest gift ever.

As tears rolled down my mom's cheeks I came to comfort her. We were now living in America but life was a struggle. Despite our desire live the American dream, were just plain immigrants doing the jobs that no one else would. Looking into my mom's weary eyes, my mind drifted to the tough times. I was reminded of the summer days, working alongside parents as the sun scorched our backs, and our muscles begging for mercy. I was tired of all that work and tired of having to put my head down to everyone. At school I wanted to excel, yet there was no refuge from the looks and prejudices. Numerous times I was called an illegal Immigrant and even told I should go back to my country. Yet up till then I had managed to suck my pride but my mom's tears eroded that barrier.

"Let's go back to Peru" I whispered desperately.
Without taking time to think she uttered "You are the reason we came here and the reason why we are still here". Those simple words were the remedy to my struggles.

As I stared into my mom's tired eyes, I saw a glimmer of hope, hope that I could make the chance she had taken be worth all the suffering. Now mature enough to comprehend my obligation I hugged her assuring her that the chance I had received wouldn't be in vain.

I closed my eyes and dreamed of the future; I dreamed when my parents could stop working so hard, where they could be proud that they came here and proud of me. But most importantly I wanted to give back to them what they gave 11 years ago, a chance. A chance to be able to live the life they had dreamt of.

From then on I was on a mission. Now every insult at school didn't wound me, it instead made the candle that burned inside me even brighter. I became driven to succeed and prove others wrong. Each night I would study as hard as my parents worked, and each A I received helped numb some of the pain we had. Today as I am even closer to my dream, I can really appreciate what my parents have done for me. The gift they gave me was the only gift I ever needed, and I can only hope that I can soon give them a gift as great as the one they gave me.