Writing Feedback / IELTS - Change, angel or devil? [NEW]

Topic:

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

My essay:

As far as change is concerned, the points of view may vary from different people. Some argue that the importance of stability outweigh that of alteration, whilst others believe that change is always an absolute essential in lives. Speaking for myself, both of these two points have their own limits.

First of all, just take one of my friends for an example. As a typical person who feels like doing everything but change, he got used to those routing work every day, by using those methods could never be changed until he was fired last week, just because his company had decided to hire someone back from abroad handling some new techniques which could immediately boost the efficiency to finish those work. This story tells us how important the change could be in individual's life: we should find every way to improve ourselves, to make a progress in our skills so that not exceeded by others. Moreover, in many respects, transformation is the source of improvement of human beings, such as technology, economy, democracy, art, culture, etc.

However, that not definitely means that change is 'always' a good thing. For instance, the frequent alterations in law and policy will certainly lead to a tremendous confusion among the people. In certain fields, the stability and consistency are not only necessary, but also crucial. Furthermore, not every change is definitely good, such as the increasing corruption of government, the deterioration of environment, the increasing number of fat people and the upward trend of unemployment. Those are absolutely not the kinds of change we want to see.

To conclude, change is very important to us, however, is neither always important nor important in any respect in society.

thx everybody who helped me here and I think I've made a big progress! Let's breakthrough the pattern and write essaies freely! Good luck to us all in our IELTS writting!

Writing Feedback / "Gifted people and talents" - IELTS - Cam7 test1 task2 [4]

Topic:

It's generally believe that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sport person or musician.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

My essay:

In the present age, heated dispute has been going on in our country. Some argue that those gifted people are prone to be an excellent player or musician while others believe that everyone can make his or her dream comes true as long as through sufficient training. Emotionally, I tend to support the latter point of view. However, I think both of them have their own faults.

Admittedly, it is a fact that the talent is an objective existence and some people are born with it (maybe even more than one kind), which means they are gifted and good at certain subjects without effort, in another word, genius. However, that not means they are certain to be a superstar in those fields. One maybe the most essential reason is their talents are often neglected. In China, students are forced to attend to various extra classes of Mathematics and English, and have to do enormous homework additionally due to the university entrance examination, which is considered as the primary task for them. Therefore, there is no spare time or space for them to exploit their talents. Another reason is themselves' faults. Even though gifted, they may become normal eventually as they lose the focus and waste their time on the other things.

However, it is not true to attribute one's success to hard work totally. Undeniably, the effort plays a key role in one's success, especially in obtaining a technique, while it is not the insurance leading to succeed in some field like art and sport. For example, someone can never be as successful as Michael Jackson in pop music, and definitely not everyone can be another Liu Xiang as a sportsman, although he contributed his whole life to music or sport. In that case if one chooses an occupation improperly, the more practice could be unproductive and even a suffering to him, and he will be more far away from his success.

To conclude, I personally believe the success is combined by both talents and efforts, and only emphasizing one respect is not so objective.

Any feedback will be great! thx!

Writing Feedback / 'simplistic view'; Can petrol price increase impact on pollution? [7]

Topic:
Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
What other measures do you think might be effective?

My essay:
Nowadays, the importance of vehicles has been widely recognized thoughout the world. However, it rises concerns about the increasingly severe traffic problems as well as the automobile exhaust pollution. Some argue that the best solution to these issues is raising the price of petrol. From my perspective, I think their view is overly simplistic.

Undeniably, making the fuel cost more money could limit the number of vehicles to some extent. Due to the increasing number of petrol stations, the competition in this field is more and more fierce, thus the price of petrol could be lower in the future. Therefore, those who are suffering from the inefficiency of public transport tend to own a car immediately. Moreover, some families purchase even more than three cars just for their own sake. In such case if they must pay more money on fuel, they may consider about that price of purchasing additionally for more time.

Nevertheless, such an argument may restrict the real necessity of automobiles. In fact, some families really need one or two cars. For example, three family members have to work or study in three place separated so far with each other, then they need to acquire at least two cars or they may both be late. On the other hand, the development of automobile industry could be restrained as well as the employments offered by it, which could have negative effects on economy. Therefore, I can hardly agree that the solution is the best.

From my mind, I think there are three ways tosolve these problems. Firstly, a new method of expenditure classification could be adopted. For instance, individuals had to pay much more for fuel if they possess more than three vehicles; secondly, the government should develop the public transport to meet the residents' demand; last but not least, the people should be encouraged to use electric car to reduce the car emissions.

To conclude, I personally believe the government should take some actions such as classifying the payment, boosting the public transport and encouraging individuals to adopt the zero-emission cars, rather than raising the price of petrol, to get rid of the traffic and pollution problems.

Any help is great! thx in advance :)