Undergraduate / 'My family and my qualities' - application for UCF? [5]

Being the eldest of three I am often overwhelmed expected with the task of to getting good grades and setting as an good example for to my two younger sisters. In regard to Regarding this, my parents are harder more stricton with me than they are on with my sisters, nagging forcing me to do better though I doam really doing well and putting have been setting limitations on what I can do in am really fond of doing with my free time. Although it may seems to be a harsh treatment, I am actually grateful for to my parents for treating me in this way; without them breathing down my backs , I might become lazy in my studies; as a result perhaps I would probably be terrible in calculus, which I am not.

Undergraduate / (Photography)- Elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities [2]

"One, two, three!",was the phrase that was most spoken words in the Robinson Photo Club in which I foundjoinin by 2009. Every other week, all the members are gatheringaround at school and tooktaking pictures of friends, teachers, trees, flowers , or just anything we could find. Looking into my camera, I saw could see the world in different perspectives as if I were an entirely different person. This have helped me to realize that there is no one specific perception where in which people view the world and that understanding different perspectives will further broaden my own understanding of the world and will help me to value opinions that are different from my own. Looking into the viewfinder of my camera, it encouraged me to be more meticulous in my daily life and to be sensitive to with all the small details around me. The small black camera of my own mine taught me about the world's understanding of the world and my Photo Club helped to incorporate it in my life.

Undergraduate / 'Merrill and mission work' - some who has impacted you. how and why? [2]

"Lord, lead me to not just to only bring impact into your afflicted children, but also, show me the ways you want me to live." A simple The simplest thing to ask of the Lord, yet an extraordinary result is the answer I received. Through a mission trip to Pensacola, FL I was able to find a peculiar fellow, who has left an overwhelming imprint in the way I will see life from now on.

In T t he first day of mission work, I bumped into a tall, dark-skinned, aging man with a certain limp that could be picked up from a mile away. When walking, he would lean his whole body to the side, properly lift up the right leg, and then let the left just fall on the other side. As most of the people we were working with were former homeless drug addicts, my first impression was that this man was on drugs.

I'm not a native speaker of English but I really want to help. I could only find few mistakes. This essay seems to be good enough. I hope I have helped. Maybe someone could give better suggestions here. It's nice to meet you. God bless!

Writing Feedback / Ielts test: compare three of these communicating tools and choose the best effective [7]


For example and for instance are completely interchangeable, so it is just a matter of personal preference as to which you decide to use. Well, for me, it is more formal to use for instance instead of for example but it is still up to you if you will follow my suggestion. Thanks.

Speeches / "Introduction in a Search for Ms. MTCA" [4]

Thanks to both of you. I'll do whatever I can to help with yours. God bless!

Writing Feedback / Ielts test: compare three of these communicating tools and choose the best effective [7]

Nowadays, information can be gained from various sources: from books, television and films. Each of these sources offers its own pros and cons. In my opinion, I choose films as the most effective tool to gain knowledge.

In terms of advantages, books, films and television can give us the same information in different ways. For exampleinstance , in historical knowledge, there are so many documentaryies films , which can provide information in through film and this knowledge can be easily remembered in head because of the rough visual tool.

television is the best choice because it provides News programs

well, instead of making a lot of corrections, I think it is best for me to tell you that you should pay more attention on the subject-verb agreement. There are a lot of these kind of mistakes in your essay but don't be offended, I just want to give some advice.

I hope that could help. God bless.

Writing Feedback / Should or not restrict on artists? ---Ielts Test [2]

Artists, who bring us creativitiesto the world of imagination , always desire to show all their imaginationcreativeness. But someone believes that government should set some rules to restrict the open expression of artists. In my opinion, I totally agree with the ideas belowabove because of three reasons.

I actually have no idea about this topic that's why I am finding it hard to make corrections. Perhaps there would be someone who could give another piece of advice, could have a better understanding with the subject. I hope that I have helped, at least.

Your work seems to be fine, you just need to learn more about grammar and coherence, maybe more on correct usage of words.

It's so nice to meet you here. God bless.

Essays / How to start an admission essay about myself? [67]


that'll be a nice start but I guess you could improve some of the sentences such as: there was "Oo nce my father told me"..."and ever since, i never forgot what he saiduntil this day .Keeping that preciouswise advisc e in my heart, i had traveled far, abiding to this principle.

Well, of course I might be not good enough but I think that could help. God bless.

Poetry / On a Camp ('I saw you from the distance') [6]

oh, thanks. but do you think she would like this poem, I mean the one I am referring to in the poem.

Undergraduate / Music and the "racket-maker" - Common App Short Answer [4]

You're welcome.
Well, I am half expecting to hear that. Just remove some of the unnecessary sentences to fit what are really important. Always ask God's guidance and be blessed. :)

Poetry / On a Camp ('I saw you from the distance') [6]

i want you to improve this poem. I guess you could put some suggestions.

Undergraduate / Music and the "racket-maker" - Common App Short Answer [4]


I don't actually get your point with this. Why are you called in this way? I think you should put some supporting details about this one.

But anyways, you have a nice ability in creating prose. You just need more practice. It's nice!

Undergraduate / "ready to face life with determination" - a person who has influenced you [5]

It's really nice. It's so impressive and so inspiring, not that preachy. I think you're like Paul in a way that you are determined to face all the challenges in your life. Determination is the key to success, anyway. So keep it up. Write more essays so you can inspire more with what you have learned from others. It's nice to meet you. God bless.

Undergraduate / "And they live happily ever after";Happiness is considered important in our life.Why? [5]

Firstly, happiness is amorphous so it is describedit's description rely on each person.

Consequently, each individual has his own understanding about happyhappiness: Love, money, success, fame and so on.

So far, those are all I could find as mistakes. Nice to meet you. You have an impressive idea about happiness. Just take a little consciousness about the grammar. God bless.XD