Posts by Sophya

Sophya

Oct 8, 2011

Undergraduate / How to write about - "Why do you think you are gifted in science and math?" [6]

try brainstorming the experience that relate you to math and science

Sophya

Oct 7, 2011

Writing Feedback / working experience;Every student should travel or work being going to university [3]

Higher education is very important for all people nowadays. It is the modal for someone's future. By studying in a university or a college, someone can get higher knowledge that they haven't received it before. In addition, a degree is a requirement for somebody to get better position in a company. Some people believe that students should travel or work for a year while they are ~~being~~ going to the university or college. In my opinion, I totally agree with it.

First of all, working while studying can give a lot of benefits to the students. They can get both knowledge from the books and ~~also~~ experience from practical life. Experience is the most important thing. If students only study from the books, they only get a narrow knowledge. They should use the their knowledge in the real practice. Lets say it in my experience. While I was studying my bachelor degree in a college, I was also working in a company. I felt very tired at that time. But doing both things in one time made it easier for me to understand what I was studying. By practicing it directly, I could remember the knowledge that my lecturers had thought me.

Furthermore, if students want to continue their study to master degree, some universities or colleges will require working experience. Without any working experience, colleges will reject their applications. For example, my friend is not accepted into one of the state universities in Medan because he has never worked before. He should work at least two years. It is the prerequisite to enter graduate schools .

Traveling while studying is the best thing to refresh students' mind. After being stressed with the examinations and assignments, students may go traveling to relax themselves. Students also need some entertainments in their life. By having such fun activities, their mind will become refreshed again, will able to accept new knowledge, and will not feel depressed. It is very dangerous if a student feels depress.

In conculsion, to get better future, the most important thing is by getting the experience. After having it, you can continue to master degree. And the last thing is that do not get too stressed with your study. It can be dangerous!

Sophya

Oct 7, 2011

Undergraduate / 'adequate teaching recourses' - Rice Why Essay [2]

Does this one meet the standards of a why essay? I appreciate all suggestions.

Prompt-What motivated you to apply to Rice University? Please be specific and limit your response to 200 words

It was a snapshot of the brick red Lovett Hall that initially caught my heart two years ago. In an instant, I recognized Rice as my dream school, which my mother described as "love at first sight". For two years, I have been imagining going through the Sallyport arch of Lovett Hall, running in the Rice Stadium, and wandering on Sunset Boulevard.

Rice offers me adequate teaching recourses with small-sized classes, encourages me to be open-minded through its unique residential college systems and fulfills my artistic pursuits by holding fine exhibitions regularly. Adjacent to Texas Medical Center, Rice also made it easier for me to get internship opportunities, supporting my career as a bio engineer. How I wish to have a chance standing beside Ms. Jennifer West, co-operating her with the development of NO-releasing polymers to inhibit smooth muscle cell proliferation.

Bertrand Russell had lived for three things: the longing for love, the search for knowledge and the unbearable pity for the suffering of mankind and these are exactly what motivated me to Rice.

Sophya

Oct 3, 2011

Undergraduate / I Am Traditional-Commonapp Essay [6]

thanks ^^

Sophya

Sep 29, 2011

Undergraduate / 'Elder care' - Elaborate One of Your Extracurricular Activity [4]

thank you ^^

Sophya

Sep 28, 2011

Undergraduate / I Am Traditional-Commonapp Essay [6]

Diversity essay-Common App

Can any one help me with a grammar check? I appreciate any suggestions you give.

Prompt-A range of academic interests, personal perspectives, and life experiences adds much to the educational mix. Given your personal background, describe an experience that illustrates what you would bring to the diversity in a college community, or an encounter that demonstrated the importance of diversity to you.

There stands a young girl wrapped with a pinky scarf, wearing an acid blue down coat and a white knitted hat. Behind her was a row of bungalows with reddish roofs partly covered with snow. I came across this photograph when doing a cleaning. It was taken outside my international school in Linköping, Sweden.

Though I was born and raised up in China, I have been travelling abroad a lot, from Sweden to the United States, exposing myself to distinctive cultures. Unlike my friends who have only heard of Christmas and Thanksgiving, I have celebrated both festivals by myself. My unusual experiences not only broadened my horizon, but indeed enhanced my sensibility of diversity.

I was only nine years old when in Sweden, too young to comprehend cultural differences. I had a good friend called Lena in my international school that time. We hit it off so well that we spent every second together. To show my friendliness, I once invited Lena to a barbecue party held by my mother's friend. Lena was among the few non-Chinese guests invited. The food on the party was well worth a mention. Besides grilled honey chicken wings and colorful pepper rings, there was my favorite dish-spicy pork chops. When I was about to wolf down a piece of pork chop, I glimpsed Lena looking at me with an offended expression. I realized that I should have shared my best things with my best friend. Setting aside my plate, I served Lena a dish of pork chops, all more juicy and savory than mine. However, it astounded me that Lena, watching my action, showed an irritated expression and left the party angrily. Though I kept asking Lena for a reason, she never talked to me in school.

Lena's rage remained an enigma until one day when Ms. Charlotte taught us about different religions. I suddenly remembered Lena was a Muslim! I had always known that Muslim doesn't consume pork! How impudent and careless I had been inviting her for pork chops!

It was my disrespect to cultural differences that caused me to lose my best friend. Ever since the incident, I pay much attention to each one's taboo and preferences. Luckily, I never made the same mistake ever again.

Sometimes I wonder why we emphasize diversity so much, be it biodiversity or cultural diversity. Eventually, I've come to a conclusion-diversity teaches us to deal with different people, enhances our adaptability in constant changing situations, and encourages us to be open-minded. Had it not been the diversity in my Sweden, never will I gain such a sensibility toward cultural differences. It is diversity that teaches me to be international, to respect differences, and to appreciate various cultures.

Sophya

Sep 28, 2011

Undergraduate / 'My Friday Nights' - Common Application Short Answer [3]

It's great you can see leadership in such an experience. I think you can elaborate more on your leadership part. What is your responsibility? Why do you say it's not just to others but also to yourself?

Sophya

Sep 27, 2011

Undergraduate / I Am Traditional-Commonapp Essay [6]

看到中文好亲切的说，谢谢。我觉得你的作文的用词一看就很高级的，SAT分肯定不低喔。你也加油啊~Good luck

Sophya

Sep 27, 2011

Undergraduate / I Am Traditional-Commonapp Essay [6]

Actually I haven't set a title for this essay. I hope you can give me some suggestions on a broad view, about my structure and focus. Is it OK to choose such an example to reflect my diversity? Thanks.

Prompt-A range of academic interests, personal perspectives, and life experiences adds much to the educational mix. Given your personal background, describe an experience that illustrates what you would bring to the diversity in a college community, or an encounter that demonstrated the importance of diversity to you.

I'm a typical Chinese girl, of average height, and have dark brown eyes and black hair. Instead of flamboyant clothes which brighten me up, I prefer ordinary T-shirts, mostly white, and boot-cut jeans. I'm a girl who may seem plain, even uninteresting from the first impression. But despite my common appearance, I own something that is completely distinctive from others, something that defines me.

Diversity goes far beyond physical, extending from races and ethnics to social values. It is composed of myriad uniqueness which is accumulated through different educational and cultural backgrounds. From this perspective, my experience, including spending my years in China, Sweden as well as the United States, makes me an eligible candidate who greatly contributes to campus diversity.

When I first arrived in America, I tried hard to fit in by dressing like others and imitating their exaggerated accent. But this didn't bring me the popularity I wished. Instead, I started losing my friends due to my loss of individualism. Not until the Thanksgiving luncheon did I realize that popularity is actually based on one's seity.

The luncheon was held by Ms. Phillips, our cooking teacher. Besides the students, several other teachers were also invited. The atmosphere was great. Everyone was enjoying the feast as well as a nice chat, except for me, who was eating quietly because I had no one to talk to.

It was Monica, an American born Chinese, who grabbed everyone's attention. She was wearing a well-designed pink blouse with a peculiar pattern on it. The pattern was arranged by thick black lines and curves spreading freely inside a frame. Appreciating the elegance of the calligraphy, a teacher asked Monica what the pattern was. However, Monica just shook her head, looking totally confused. I recognized it was Chinese calligraphy at the first sight. What a pity that Monica lost her heredity in Chinese culture!

"It's Chinese calligraphy. And it means beauty and grace. " I cut in the conversation and answered loudly. All the people stopped and stared at me, a bit shocked at my reply since I was so easy to be unheeded. For the rest of the lunch, I was occupied with all kinds of questions on Chinese culture. I really had a great time at the luncheon.

I wasn't surprised when boys and girls gathered around me during lunch breaks to hear my "weird" stories about Chinese traditions. My distinctive culture bestowed uniqueness upon me.

"Diversity is the spice of life." It enriches our monotonous world and inspires us to maintain our individuality. Though I had spent two years outside China, I never lose my faith in Chinese culture, which is both extensive and profound. Because I know it is my culture that identifies me, and it is my culture that makes me unique.

Sophya

Sep 27, 2011

Undergraduate / Stage for me - common app essay [4]

Well I kinda like your essay, especially the introduction (though I initially thought you were playing the piano). It is touching and definitely shows your passion toward music. But I think you spent too much time describing your preparation for the performance down the stage. Maybe you can focus on what you thought and did on the stage, which will relate to your title more. Hope my suggestion helps.

Sophya

Sep 27, 2011

Undergraduate / 'I started quizzing' - This is my extracurricular statement [3]

The story is good, but I think more details will surely help. Tell about your feelings when you fell behind. And how you cheered yourself up, how you prepare for your every tests? Describe those features in your essay to make it touching. I can't see your perseverance through your essay. Combine your sentences so you won't exceed the character limit.

Sophya

Sep 27, 2011

Undergraduate / 'Elder care' - Elaborate One of Your Extracurricular Activity [4]

This was my essay for the activity part on Commonapp. Is that OK to write like that? I'm an international student so I hope someone can help me check the grammar and phrases. Thanks. ^^

Prompt-Please briefly elaborate one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences. (1000 characters)

Elder care has never been my concern until I involved in an activity organized by the Guangzhou Volunteer Association to visit the widowed elders. I was assigned to an 87-year-old man called Ye Feng, who had severe hearing loss.

The living room was dark and humid, stuffed with an armchair and a muted TV. Greeting me, Ye stumbled to his sit and tried to hide himself into his overcoat due to coldness. When asked about his family, Ye grabbed over a picture with his hands and introduced his daughter to me, showing a rare smile on his melancholic wrinkled face. Though Ye's daughter visited Ye occasionally, he spent most of his time "looking at" TV and talking to himself. He lived a miserable life filled with loneliness and depression.

Ye's case made me aware that eldercare is indeed an inconvenient problem in our society, since getting old is a life stage that everyone goes through. The only solution for us is to take good care of our aging parents, who had made so many sacrifices for us.