sexililkadie
Nov 3, 2011
sexililkadie
Oct 31, 2011
Book Reports / CHILD CALLED IT - my summer book review [6]
You could state why you chose to read the book such as:
- Personal experience
- Knowledge of someone in a situation similar to little David's
- Book image
- The title
How did the book help you:
Did you become more aware of something about yourself
Did you want to help kids like him
....yadda yadda yadda
LOL JUST WRITE! iT COMES OUT WHEN YOU SIT DOWN AND RELAX. ITS EASY I PROMISE
You could state why you chose to read the book such as:
- Personal experience
- Knowledge of someone in a situation similar to little David's
- Book image
- The title
How did the book help you:
Did you become more aware of something about yourself
Did you want to help kids like him
....yadda yadda yadda
LOL JUST WRITE! iT COMES OUT WHEN YOU SIT DOWN AND RELAX. ITS EASY I PROMISE
sexililkadie
Oct 31, 2011
Undergraduate / 'the Key Club presentation' - UF Admissions Essay [3]
"Write a concise narrative in which you describe a meaningful event, experience or accomplishment in your life and how it will affect your college experience or your contribution to the UF campus community."
I wrote this essay in about an hr so critics are welcomed. Please help :)
"Hurry up guys! Sit down! The Presentation's about to start" says jennifer, the Key Club President. The presentation was scheduled to begin in about 5 minutes. In my eyes, this meeting was going to be no different than all the other meetings this year. I would soon realize how wrong I was. This presentation, the one I was about to see, changed my life in ways I never imagined.
"So, I'm here to tell you a little bit about the village you will be helping" says the representative. "Your club will be raising money to help this village build a fresh water well". At that moment , I wasnt paying much attention to the presentation. That goes to show you what kind of person I was. Richard (our presenter), then puts on a video of the village on the overhead projector.
The video started out showing a clip of the village people walking to a local river to get water. "The village people walk almost 4 miles from their home to get clean water from this river. They have to make this trip at least 2 times a day" They lived in huts made of straw and mud. The beds they slept on were made of straw and cloth. The huts were built with maximum ventillation in mind but even then, temperatures in those huts rise to 102 degrees in the summer time. The had nowhere to hide because no matte where you went, it felt as if the "Heat was holding you captive." After the video was done, the presentor shared some very interesting statistics with thr club that sent me into an enhanced state of shock. "60% of the children in the village die immediately after birth." I immediately start to cry. For some reason, I was overcome with grief. For once in my 16 years of life, I was saddened over someone's life other than my own. "10% of the surviving infants never make it to age three...disease and famine inevitably claim their lives long before that."
I realized that I needed to change the way I went through life that day. Up until that afternoon, I went through life thinking that the world revolved around me. I hated this about myself and vowed to change it. I vowed to be more conscious of what I say to others and to be more aware of the hardships people face all over the world. I realized that there are bigger problems than the ones I have and I wanted to do something to help. Through fund rasing, by the end of the year Key Club raised enough money to build the well. It made me feel accomplished and extremely proud of myself.
I feel that I could use my leadership qualities and creative ideas to raise awareness on the important issues in the world today. If I can help one person realize what I realized that afternoon in Key Club then thats all I hope for.
"Write a concise narrative in which you describe a meaningful event, experience or accomplishment in your life and how it will affect your college experience or your contribution to the UF campus community."
I wrote this essay in about an hr so critics are welcomed. Please help :)
"Hurry up guys! Sit down! The Presentation's about to start" says jennifer, the Key Club President. The presentation was scheduled to begin in about 5 minutes. In my eyes, this meeting was going to be no different than all the other meetings this year. I would soon realize how wrong I was. This presentation, the one I was about to see, changed my life in ways I never imagined.
"So, I'm here to tell you a little bit about the village you will be helping" says the representative. "Your club will be raising money to help this village build a fresh water well". At that moment , I wasnt paying much attention to the presentation. That goes to show you what kind of person I was. Richard (our presenter), then puts on a video of the village on the overhead projector.
The video started out showing a clip of the village people walking to a local river to get water. "The village people walk almost 4 miles from their home to get clean water from this river. They have to make this trip at least 2 times a day" They lived in huts made of straw and mud. The beds they slept on were made of straw and cloth. The huts were built with maximum ventillation in mind but even then, temperatures in those huts rise to 102 degrees in the summer time. The had nowhere to hide because no matte where you went, it felt as if the "Heat was holding you captive." After the video was done, the presentor shared some very interesting statistics with thr club that sent me into an enhanced state of shock. "60% of the children in the village die immediately after birth." I immediately start to cry. For some reason, I was overcome with grief. For once in my 16 years of life, I was saddened over someone's life other than my own. "10% of the surviving infants never make it to age three...disease and famine inevitably claim their lives long before that."
I realized that I needed to change the way I went through life that day. Up until that afternoon, I went through life thinking that the world revolved around me. I hated this about myself and vowed to change it. I vowed to be more conscious of what I say to others and to be more aware of the hardships people face all over the world. I realized that there are bigger problems than the ones I have and I wanted to do something to help. Through fund rasing, by the end of the year Key Club raised enough money to build the well. It made me feel accomplished and extremely proud of myself.
I feel that I could use my leadership qualities and creative ideas to raise awareness on the important issues in the world today. If I can help one person realize what I realized that afternoon in Key Club then thats all I hope for.
sexililkadie
Oct 31, 2011
Undergraduate / 'two days after the eighteen hour flight from China' - UF application [3]
I cried through every page because I did not understand most of the words but no matter how much I wanted to quit, I decided against it. I didnt stop reading until the very end. When I was done, I suddenly realized that I understood the novel.
I started jotting down words and defintions I didnt understand and to my benefit, my reading and comprehension level noticibly got better. A few weeks later I was reading my first novel!
This should say achieve ...It may be a better choice of wording considering your next sentence
I think this should say: I become known as the quiet girl and I think by now it is obvious that I dont speak this foreign language.
These are just some suggestions for you, I'm doing the same essay. I loved reading about your move from China. I find it awesone that you worked your way up from the bottom. :) GOOD LUCK with UF!!
I cried through every page because I did not understand most of the word in the novel. No matter how many times I wanted to stop reading, I would tell myself that it was not finished until I reached the end. When I was done, I suddenly realized that I understood the novel.
I cried through every page because I did not understand most of the words but no matter how much I wanted to quit, I decided against it. I didnt stop reading until the very end. When I was done, I suddenly realized that I understood the novel.
Then I jotting down words and definitions I did not understand. Slowly, I "graduated" from each level and finally, I started reading harder books.
I started jotting down words and defintions I didnt understand and to my benefit, my reading and comprehension level noticibly got better. A few weeks later I was reading my first novel!
unless I start working hard and striving to complete my goals.
This should say achieve ...It may be a better choice of wording considering your next sentence
To others I am the quiet girl. It is obvious that I am quiet because I had trouble speaking English.
I think this should say: I become known as the quiet girl and I think by now it is obvious that I dont speak this foreign language.
These are just some suggestions for you, I'm doing the same essay. I loved reading about your move from China. I find it awesone that you worked your way up from the bottom. :) GOOD LUCK with UF!!
sexililkadie
Oct 31, 2011
Undergraduate / When Two Arts Collide- University of Florida Undergraduate Essay [3]
I though this was AWESOME! I once used a sentence like this with my spoken word... " The words come to my mind, seep down into my fingers and find their way to the blank sheet sitting in front of me. Writing is a gift that I never take for granted."
Your essay looks great to me considering we only have 500 words :)
I let my thoughts run down my arm, to my hand, through the pencil and onto the paper. I let my pencil exemplify my expressions and create a world of my imaginations on a sheet of paper.
I though this was AWESOME! I once used a sentence like this with my spoken word... " The words come to my mind, seep down into my fingers and find their way to the blank sheet sitting in front of me. Writing is a gift that I never take for granted."
Your essay looks great to me considering we only have 500 words :)
sexililkadie
Oct 26, 2011
Undergraduate / 'a very strong interest in the Law' - College of Arts and Sciences [2]
College of Arts and Sciences:
Describe your intellectual interests, their evolution, and what makes them exciting to you. Tell us how you will utilize the academic programs in the College of Arts and Sciences to further explore your interests, intended major, or field of study.
I've always had a very strong interest in the Law. When I was about 8 years old, my father signed me up for a law studies program in my elementary school. It wasn't clear to me then, how much of an interest I would have in it at that time but this program would prove to be one of the reasons I aspire to be on the Supreme Court. The program was boring more or less but I stuck it out. I stayed in that program for another three years before moving on to Middle school.
I was always called a "BIG MOUTH" by my brothers growing up. They would call me that because I liked to verbalize my opinions. If I had an opinion on something then most likely you would hear it the moment the thought came to my head. I was never one to hide anything from the world. I was taught to be honest and honest I was. Nothing would slip my attention; I mean absolutely nothing would go unnoticed. I was always an inquisitive youngster but, in my household it would always get me into trouble. I was always asking about things that I shouldn't have and my mother would always tell me that the only people she knew who spoke as much as I did were lawyers. I was told that I could speak all day and get paid for it. From that moment on, I was hooked. I knew that Law was the career path for me.
I became a hungry for knowledge and started to look at things from a different perspective. I started watching Law and Order to gain more knowledge on the law field. It made me even more determined to become an attorney. Women in the courtroom were powerful in my eyes and I wanted to have that kind of power one day. I wanted to be able to help people who couldn't help themselves. I wanted the privilege of knowing that I helped someone get the justice they deserved. I wanted to be one of those women who made history being appointed to the Supreme Court. I honestly think I was born to be a lawyer. No other career makes sense for me. I was born dominant and persuasive by nature.
What attracts me to the one of a kind government program at Cornell's college of Arts and sciences is the quality of education I would be receiving if I were to attend. If I am able to attend Cornell University then I have a chance to be educated in an intellectually fertile and culturally diverse environment. There is no better place for my dreams of a law career to come to life other than your institution. I see this experience as an opportunity to grow and come into my own as a person. I have heard numerous compliments on Cornell's University including one from a friend of the family. She described her experience as "Hard work but hands down the best experience of my life." I want a chance to tell my children the same thing one day.
From her stories I could already tell that I wanted to be a part of what she was describing. It provided me with a better view of life on Campus. It came off to me as a "Play hard but work even harder" kind of environment. Students know how to balance their time between work and social time or at least find the balance along the way. You learn a lot about yourself over the years, you learn how to push yourself and most of all you learn your limits. Through my studies at Cornell, I hope to become a model individual with the ability to use my knowledge in life after University. Unlike my "role models" in the past, I hope to be able to contribute to society and support my family. Being the first person in my family to go to college puts tremendous weight on my shoulders but I think my future is in my hands. "Fate is for those too weak to determine their own destiny" - Kamran Hamid
I do not leave my future in the hands of fate, I go after what I want and I don't stop until I get it.
College of Arts and Sciences:
Describe your intellectual interests, their evolution, and what makes them exciting to you. Tell us how you will utilize the academic programs in the College of Arts and Sciences to further explore your interests, intended major, or field of study.
I've always had a very strong interest in the Law. When I was about 8 years old, my father signed me up for a law studies program in my elementary school. It wasn't clear to me then, how much of an interest I would have in it at that time but this program would prove to be one of the reasons I aspire to be on the Supreme Court. The program was boring more or less but I stuck it out. I stayed in that program for another three years before moving on to Middle school.
I was always called a "BIG MOUTH" by my brothers growing up. They would call me that because I liked to verbalize my opinions. If I had an opinion on something then most likely you would hear it the moment the thought came to my head. I was never one to hide anything from the world. I was taught to be honest and honest I was. Nothing would slip my attention; I mean absolutely nothing would go unnoticed. I was always an inquisitive youngster but, in my household it would always get me into trouble. I was always asking about things that I shouldn't have and my mother would always tell me that the only people she knew who spoke as much as I did were lawyers. I was told that I could speak all day and get paid for it. From that moment on, I was hooked. I knew that Law was the career path for me.
I became a hungry for knowledge and started to look at things from a different perspective. I started watching Law and Order to gain more knowledge on the law field. It made me even more determined to become an attorney. Women in the courtroom were powerful in my eyes and I wanted to have that kind of power one day. I wanted to be able to help people who couldn't help themselves. I wanted the privilege of knowing that I helped someone get the justice they deserved. I wanted to be one of those women who made history being appointed to the Supreme Court. I honestly think I was born to be a lawyer. No other career makes sense for me. I was born dominant and persuasive by nature.
What attracts me to the one of a kind government program at Cornell's college of Arts and sciences is the quality of education I would be receiving if I were to attend. If I am able to attend Cornell University then I have a chance to be educated in an intellectually fertile and culturally diverse environment. There is no better place for my dreams of a law career to come to life other than your institution. I see this experience as an opportunity to grow and come into my own as a person. I have heard numerous compliments on Cornell's University including one from a friend of the family. She described her experience as "Hard work but hands down the best experience of my life." I want a chance to tell my children the same thing one day.
From her stories I could already tell that I wanted to be a part of what she was describing. It provided me with a better view of life on Campus. It came off to me as a "Play hard but work even harder" kind of environment. Students know how to balance their time between work and social time or at least find the balance along the way. You learn a lot about yourself over the years, you learn how to push yourself and most of all you learn your limits. Through my studies at Cornell, I hope to become a model individual with the ability to use my knowledge in life after University. Unlike my "role models" in the past, I hope to be able to contribute to society and support my family. Being the first person in my family to go to college puts tremendous weight on my shoulders but I think my future is in my hands. "Fate is for those too weak to determine their own destiny" - Kamran Hamid
I do not leave my future in the hands of fate, I go after what I want and I don't stop until I get it.
