Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by kerlik
Joined: Nov 25, 2011
Last Post: Dec 10, 2011
Threads: 1
Posts: 4  

From: Kazakhstan

Displayed posts: 5
sort: Latest first   Oldest first  | 
kerlik   
Dec 9, 2011
Undergraduate / 'why he recommend this school' - Ohio State University essay [2]

Hi!

Curious about why he recommend this school and a state which is unfamiliar to me , I went to the web site and got me a surprise.

I think this sentence is incorrect. I was curious about his recommendation, also I was not familiar with this State. I was surprised after I went to the web site.

"t he hugest university among American universities with its one of the best university football teams;total enrollment about 65,000 buckeye students and more than 900 student organizations".

The hugest

My favorite facts are: The hugest among US institutions, the best university football team, total enrollment about 65,000, buckeye students and more than 900 student organizations.

I hope you will check many times more also pay attention to words placing and verb tenses
kerlik   
Nov 29, 2011
Undergraduate / "until lambs become lions" - U of Richmond- How I left my comfort zone [2]

I am applying to U of Richmond. This is my supplemental essay. Since I am an international student, I might have some stupid mistakes. Please check them and review the essay if possible. :) Thanks!

"Rise and rise again until lambs become lions". This quote settled in my mind after I left my comfort zone. Of course not immediately, it came to my mind after some time. So, how I left it:

After months of searching I found that I want to study in American University in Bulgaria (AUBG). My adviser had talked to me about an opportunity to continue education there. I had TOEFL and SAT exams, but scores were insufficient to become a regular student and I enrolled as an English Language Institute (ELI) student. I had the same exams after half a year preparation in the ELI courses. My scores were good enough to be accepted. I turned back to my home and after three weeks I had notification that I accepted to the university. AUBG did not meet my financial expectations, though many students last year got better portion of financial aid. My family could not afford the university fees and I did not enroll. It meant I just failed with this university.

AUBG was the focus of my last year; I could not believe that I am not going to study there. All deadlines to apply to other institutions passed and I just have had to spend time without academic study. That was stage of unwillingness to accept reality and continued for less than a week.

The second stage was about melancholy. I had no idea what to wait from the future and what to do next. Almost all my classmates were regular students already, some of them had English preparation courses (ESL, Foundation, ELI), but still they had academic study. Dissatisfaction, depression, hardship; I felt them all at once. I left my comfort zone because of setback. This stage continued for one month.

The third stage is the main one. I call it "tabula rasa". In fact, I am an optimist and the feeling of fabulous hope inside is the main concept of it. It seems as whole world helps me: every time I talk with people, listen news, read books, and simply surf the web there is plethora of information, support and inspiration. This stage lasts as well today.

I learned that every cloud has a silver lining. I left my comfort zone because of failure and pressure. Definitely it was a challenge for me to come back.

Many say that college life is demanding. I am ready for this new challenge. It will be all right, it always is.
kerlik   
Nov 28, 2011
Undergraduate / 'Georgia faculty of Exact and Natural Sciences' - Letter of Motivation [2]

However, I still don't know exactly which branch of mathematics I will follow .

Not follow but study.

I think you should reconsider first 5-6 sentence. I mean you should make for example 2 sentence in one. Because some of them are repeat same ideas. Just combine them.
kerlik   
Nov 28, 2011
Undergraduate / 'The windows of my Hyundai Elantra' - looking through a window. [2]

I am an international student, so I am not perfect in grammar. I think you should check for grammar errors, I think I found some of them.

'm finding less and less time for those summery activities these days, so I come here to work.

Maybe summer activities?))

My friends wonder how it is that I don't get distracted working at the beach , and how I don't end up throwing down my work and heading out into the water, but on most occasions I'm not even tempted

My friends wonder why I am not distracted working at the beach, so I didn`t end up throwing down my job.