Undergraduate / ' The ball was my sole target' - UC 2. Perseverance in the face of adversity [2]

I am not confident with that my essay contains the strength it needs. Are there any advice that you guys can give to give it more strength? Some constructive criticism will be nice :) Thanks for taking your time and helping in advance. :)

UC Prompt 2
"Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?"

The sun's vibrant rays licked my tanned skin as the warm air brushed my cheeks. I waited at the baseline, preparing to return a grueling serve, while my partner stood at the service line, bouncing on the balls of her feet, ready to attack. The opponent, the number one seeded doubles team in the district, tossed the lime-green ball against gravity, pulled her racket back, and in one fluid motion, hammered the ball with the force of her entire body. The third set, a test of resolve, had begun.

Playing the last match of the season, I was determined to persevere in the face of adversity. I would not give up until the final point was claimed. Each point was vital to the game, each game was vital to the concluding set, and each set was vital to the deciding match.

The ball was my sole target. In order to shave a tenth of a second from the time it would take for me to reach the ball, I had to constantly move my feet. My toes were trained to prevent my heels from scraping the clay court, an act that was as natural as blinking. Once the ball left the racket of my opponent, I pursued it like a ravenous cheetah chasing its soon to be dinner. This continued for a strenuous hour but I continued with a focused mindset, maneuvering the ball at an unreachable angle. I strived to be on the offense, keeping my opponents struggling to keep the ball in play.

Throughout the match, the sun was my constant spectator. It observed the match with rays of intensity, never leaving the site. The scorching heat it exuded negatively affected my stamina, and I eventually grew tired. Physically tired but mentally strong, I remained firm and pushed myself beyond boundaries that I did not think I was capable of entering.

It was an amazing match. Even though I lost the match, I realized that I was the true victor. I gave the match all the energy I was capable of conjuring and then some. I showed myself that I was capable of accomplishing anything through perseverance.

With great perseverance comes self-satisfaction. Only when I give a challenge 100% will I then be able to reflect positively. Furthermore, tennis showed me that a determined mindset and firm persistence towards a goal could be applied to other fields, such as academics. Whether it's perseverance through a challenging project or physical tiredness, I will strive for my goals, looking back only with content that I gave my best effort.

Undergraduate / 'panic, worry, disbelief, and terror' - my goals in becoming a nurse [2]

Hi :) Can you guys please give me feedback on my essay? Thanks in advance :)
UC Prompt 1.
"Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations."

Two and a half years ago, on a wintry, December day, I was lying down on my warm bed when my left hand subconsciously landed on my right breast, and at that moment I felt something hard. It was a lump.

Upon this unexpected discovery, an amalgamation of emotions consisting of panic, worry, disbelief, and terror flooded my insides. Fear of the unknown consumed my thoughts as I contemplated the possibility that I could have a malignant lump. When I confided in my mom about the incongruous, one-inch mass, she was mortified as well. Despite this, she became my shadow of support. With my mom by my side, I embarked on a passage that not only widened my understanding of empathy but also opened a door of opportunity that led me to seriously consider pursing a career as a nurse.

In the next months, I researched various types of lumps and possible treatments for each type until my eyes strained. I familiarized myself with the causes of cancerous cells, the formation of cysts and pseudolumps, the relation between the menstrual cycle and breast changes, and much more. To prepare myself for the diagnosis, I mentally projected potential scenarios: Would I undergo a biopsy? Would I need mammograms? Would I endure chemotherapy? I pondered over the possibility of each outcome until I drowned myself in a sea of worries. On the edge of despair, I divulged my worries to my mom, and her soothing words of encouragement scooped me up from the ditch that my thoughts plunged me into.

As I sat at the patient's waiting room, I saw patients with breast cancer, heart failure, and fractured bones but the compassionate hospital nurses continuously kept smiles stained on their faces. Reflexively, my cheek muscles inched up against gravity. I realized that support, no matter how small, could ease the mind and change a person's perspective throughout difficult times.

During my ultrasound, I was confronted with daunting information; instead of just one lump, I possessed seven: four in my right breast and three in my left. Tremors glided down my spine and my eyes grew vacant. I panicked, worrying that part of the lumps could break off and invade healthy tissues, a process I learned called metastasis. The floodgates of my emotions opened; tears flowed relentlessly down my cheeks. "We will get through this together," whispered the nurse, and with her support my thoughts stabilized as we rationalized my situation together. The nurse's display of empathy helped me relax and showed me that I, too, want to ease people's worries.

On June 19, 2009, I was diagnosed with fibroadenmo, a benign tumor composed of breast gland tissues. Relief swept over me as all my worries dissipated. I bounded out of the hospital, thankful of the immense support I received.

Looking back, I reflect how I was given the strength to persevere from that support I received from my mom and the nurses. Their compassion and empathy turned my horrifying experience into one that I can positively reflect on, inspiring me to pursue a career in nursing. I want to be there for people, to become their backbone. I want to be that foundation that people could rely on during their frailest and weakest moments. The path to aid others, analogous to how my mom and nurses helped me, is an opportunity that I have commenced and want to continue with passion.