Writing Feedback / ielts - the proportion of older people and positive / negative effects [2]

It is expected that in the future the proportion of older people will become larger than the younger people in many countries. Is this a positive or negative development?

It is inevitable topic that we will face with an aging society in the future. How to evaluate impact of an aging society? Different people have different answer.

There is no denying that, on the one hand, capital and labor market should profit from the elder when they still work for their department and companies. To begin with, what the elder must work continuously will trigger that labor cost rapidly decrease. Specifically, the elder, who are sophistical administrators or technicians and no longer any training, can help their employer save an enormous of money. Obviously, employer will afford huge finance to train young employees for being suitable for their job. Besides, the elder can manger their work more efficiently and smoothly. Usually, the elder possess more affluent experience of work than the young. Meanwhile, their enthusiasm in working is high as much as the young. Therefore, the elder in working will are huge fortune.

On the other hand, negative concerns about aging society have also been gradually emerging. Firstly, aging population bring about serious burden on family. More precisely, in the future a family will be forced to breed up four elder and one child, for more and more a couple only have a child and the elder increase as well. Secondly, aging population will present severe pressure on society, such as public healthcare and welfare. As we know, when the elder were deprived of work and were ill, it would be mammoth financial burden to the whole society. However, we have enough labor to build more wealth to resolve the problem, for the elder would be more lager than the young. Hence, how can we image this picture?

To sum up, I really think the negative effects overbalance the positive effects to aging population. So, our government and society must implement proper strategies to face the problem in the future, Such as we can build more reasonable social security and welfare system for the elder. And we will be possible to solve the problem.

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p.s this is task of ielts exam.
i hope that you give me some advice including three aspects : arguments , idea and evidence; communicative quality; vocabulary and setence stucture.
thank for your consideration

Writing Feedback / "student's lifestyle in university" - ielts, task 2 [3]

Full time university students spend a lot of time on studying, but it is essential for students to involve in other activities. What do you extent agree and disagree?

Nowadays, in growing number of parents and educationists begin to pay much attention to student's lifestyle in university. People tend to hope that students can study hard and do exercises as well. Personally, I subscribe to the opinion that the view should be completely agree with.

For one thing, taking activities can exert positive influence on student's intelligent development, especially full time student who aim to study hard for their future. According to scientific researches, taking activities everyday help student promote their blood flow so that it can improve their intelligence and concentration. What's more, those who often do exercises are more likely to be smart than those who seldom take activities.

Secondly, taking activities can cultivate a kind of ability of resisting pressure, regardless of working or studying. It is said that activities are also best characterized by competition. Once they are gradually accustomed to competition, students can possess better mentality to be confronted with frustration and misery.

Thirdly, student through taking activities can learn efficiently some social skills, For example, leadership skill and teamwork skill. Take playing basketball for example, to win a game, we, especially our ability less than our opponent, should build a high and effective cooperation to defeat them. Meanwhile, to adapt society in the future, students should study more social skill, therefore it is better choice that taking activities is for students.

From the above discussion, we can a conclusion that it is imperative that students should take activities. Hence, our government should implement many strategies to encourage students play sports and school should build more facilities for students. Meanwhile, students also must take actively activities.

p.s this is task of ielts exam.
i hope that you give me some advices including three aspects : arguments , idea and evidence; communicative quality; vocabulary and setence stucture.
thank for your consideration

Writing Feedback / 'different people have different answer' - ielts task 2. definite happiness [4]

Some people believe that the personal happiness is directly related with the economic success. Others argue that the happiness depends on completely other factors. Discuss both of the views and give your own opinion

my essay:
As to comprehend happiness, different people have different answer. A group of people go for the statement that the economic success is the most important and direct factor annotate happiness. Others, however, prefer to believe that the happiness is not base on economic success but is made up by many factors.

In my view, happiness to most of people should be constituted by three factors namely job satisfactory, harmonious family and economic base in some extent.

the economic success is one of the most important part to explain happiness. General speaking, we would not have reasons to purchase others interesting we want wthout economic success. However, economic success is not equal complete to happiness. Happiness whatever is definited by phiosophy or realisty always include many factors. So, only economic success offer material happiness and mental satisfactory also play signifant role as well as economic success.

Meanwhile, to realise happiness, we should know how make people feel a sense of happpiness. Harmonious family and job satisfactory are dispensable parts as economic success. To start with, job is not olny resourse of finance but also important life part because people will spend one-third life on it. what is crucial for a satisfied job. In addition, harmonious family is essential parts to comprise happiness. Family as warm harhour to prevent us to hurt from work or study is so vital that we don't ignore it.

To sum up, i would conceded that economic success is link to happiness. Dispate that, i agress that others factors are also connected with happiness, such as job satisfactory and harmonious family.

Writing Feedback / 'the number CDs was saled' - description essay [3]

A glance at the chart provided reveals distribution of sales(games software,dvd/video and cds) over a span from 2000 and 2003. It is evident that the changes in their number share proportion at the same period.

In 2000,the number CDs was saled the highest than two others(game software and Dvd), which reached about 35 billon dollar. Remotely following were Dvd and game software with 18 bn and 10 bn respectively. Interesting, the number Cds saled remained No.1, even though the number declined a little to 32 bn in 2004. In contrast, the number of DVD and game software saled showed a substaintial increase, which arrived at around 31 bn and 18 bn. Especially, the number of CD was almost equal to that of DCD.

In conclusion, the DVD and games software were accpeted by in growing number of people in modern society. Meanwhile, people doesn't lost their other faverity hobbe, CD.

Writing Feedback / ielts chart - information about sales and share prices for Coca-Cola [2]

The chart and graph below give information about sales and share prices for Coca-Cola.
Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

-You should write at least 150 words.
-You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

A glance at the two graphs provided reveal striking data between producing and price of Coca-Cola, during the period from 1996 to 2001 , it is evident that different regions have different unit of coca-cola and price saw considerable fluctuations with low during 1996 and high during 1998.

As can be seen from pie chart, next American was the highest bow facture producing 30.4% of coca-cola at 17.1 billion ton while Africa and Middle East together produced only 7%. Meanwhile Latin America, European and Asia produced need 25.7%, 20.5% and 16.4% respectively.

According to line graph the year from 1996 to 1998 witnessed arise in the number of price which was followed by a rapid decrease over the three years the price reached to a peak of about 75 dollar in 1998.

In conclude, there was an almost similarity in producing coca-cola among North America, European and Asia, and the price might decline in the future.

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