rrolle
Dec 31, 2011
rrolle
Dec 30, 2011
Undergraduate / (new methods of thinking / journalism / Bohemian Rhapsody) - NYU [10]
All of them are pretty much perfect. If there's any grammatical errors, I couldn't catch them reading through it. The admissions directors aren't going to analyze it that intensely so you should be fine.
The last essay seems fine to me. Maybe it's because I know the song? No clue.
I don't think the reader needs the lyrics to know that you're comparing yourself to the song, however.
All of them are pretty much perfect. If there's any grammatical errors, I couldn't catch them reading through it. The admissions directors aren't going to analyze it that intensely so you should be fine.
The last essay seems fine to me. Maybe it's because I know the song? No clue.
I don't think the reader needs the lyrics to know that you're comparing yourself to the song, however.
rrolle
Dec 30, 2011
Undergraduate / NYU Supplement - Major Response [3]
Would it be better if I switch the first paragraph with the last one? The major is Media, Culture, and Communication.
Would it be better if I switch the first paragraph with the last one? The major is Media, Culture, and Communication.
rrolle
Dec 30, 2011
Undergraduate / NYU Supplement - Major Response [3]
Regardless of whether or not you have an intended major or concentration, please elaborate on an academic area of interest and how you wish to explore it at NYU's campuses in New York or Abu Dhabi or at one of our global academic centers around the world. Please share any activities or experiences you have had that have cultivated your intellectual interests leading you to choose to study at the NYU campus of your choice. 1500 characters
Theodore Roosevelt said, "The most important single ingredient in the formula of success is knowing how to get along with people." Thus I made getting along with everyone one of my goals in life. People have always intrigued me. I don't only want to learn about them, I want to learn from them.
My family's love for traveling sparked my interest in people. I've been to many places from Alaska to the Panama Canal to London. In all of these trips, I've met so many different people that have expanded my scope of thought. By being in the middle of so many unique cultures, I developed the ability to get along with everyone I've met.
Of course, experiencing friction with others is inevitable. I've only taken these experiences as rather challenges in finding common ground. It's my best and worst trait to never let a disagreement remain as such. I've always made sure I was able to make the other person more comfortable.
All of NYU's campuses reflect the multicultural cities their located in. All of the cities are places that I'd love to explore in order to further develop my communication skills. Effective communication is the key to connecting the world together. I want to make sure I can communicate with everyone I meet effectively and that others will be able to do the same. Through NYU Steinhardt, I know I'll be able to discover new opportunities through the Department of Media, Culture, and Communication's internships, networking, resources, and study abroad program.
I'm not sure if my response effectively answers the prompt. Any type of feedback is greatly appreciated.
Regardless of whether or not you have an intended major or concentration, please elaborate on an academic area of interest and how you wish to explore it at NYU's campuses in New York or Abu Dhabi or at one of our global academic centers around the world. Please share any activities or experiences you have had that have cultivated your intellectual interests leading you to choose to study at the NYU campus of your choice. 1500 characters
Theodore Roosevelt said, "The most important single ingredient in the formula of success is knowing how to get along with people." Thus I made getting along with everyone one of my goals in life. People have always intrigued me. I don't only want to learn about them, I want to learn from them.
My family's love for traveling sparked my interest in people. I've been to many places from Alaska to the Panama Canal to London. In all of these trips, I've met so many different people that have expanded my scope of thought. By being in the middle of so many unique cultures, I developed the ability to get along with everyone I've met.
Of course, experiencing friction with others is inevitable. I've only taken these experiences as rather challenges in finding common ground. It's my best and worst trait to never let a disagreement remain as such. I've always made sure I was able to make the other person more comfortable.
All of NYU's campuses reflect the multicultural cities their located in. All of the cities are places that I'd love to explore in order to further develop my communication skills. Effective communication is the key to connecting the world together. I want to make sure I can communicate with everyone I meet effectively and that others will be able to do the same. Through NYU Steinhardt, I know I'll be able to discover new opportunities through the Department of Media, Culture, and Communication's internships, networking, resources, and study abroad program.
I'm not sure if my response effectively answers the prompt. Any type of feedback is greatly appreciated.
rrolle
Dec 30, 2011
Undergraduate / Why NYU? "New York is dynamic melting pot full of inspiration" [6]
I cut out that sentence entirely. How does this sound?
When you get past the bright lights and fast pace, New York is a dynamic melting pot full of inspiration. It's no wonder millions of people go there to fulfill their aspirations. Coming from Miami, I wouldn't be able to settle for anything less than a big city atmosphere, and they don't call New York "The Big Apple" for nothing. I've been exposed to multiple walks of life. I've learned so much from each and every person I've met. I want to continue my pursuit in learning from unique people not only in the city but in NYU's diverse campus as well.
NYU Steinhardt's media, culture, and communications program provides the rigorous coursework needed in challenging any aspiring student and stimulating their growth. As a persevering student, this exceptional program will push me to perform beyond my greatest capabilities.
Is this any better?
P.S. Thank you so much!
Nicely done! However, I do think that you should keep as much focus on the school as possible, so mention the ethnic diversity of the campus, not just the city. Other than that, I don't see anything else worth correcting.
Not only that, Miami is also ethnically diverse so waking up to anything less that just wouldn't work.--phrasing is repetitive, and ethnic diversity could be incoorporated elsewhere.
I cut out that sentence entirely. How does this sound?
When you get past the bright lights and fast pace, New York is a dynamic melting pot full of inspiration. It's no wonder millions of people go there to fulfill their aspirations. Coming from Miami, I wouldn't be able to settle for anything less than a big city atmosphere, and they don't call New York "The Big Apple" for nothing. I've been exposed to multiple walks of life. I've learned so much from each and every person I've met. I want to continue my pursuit in learning from unique people not only in the city but in NYU's diverse campus as well.
just make sure you really play up academic rep if you go with that
NYU Steinhardt's media, culture, and communications program provides the rigorous coursework needed in challenging any aspiring student and stimulating their growth. As a persevering student, this exceptional program will push me to perform beyond my greatest capabilities.
Is this any better?
P.S. Thank you so much!
rrolle
Dec 30, 2011
Undergraduate / Why NYU? "New York is dynamic melting pot full of inspiration" [6]
Is there anything I should add? Anything I should take out? Any type of feedback is greatly appreciated.
When you get past the bright lights and fast pace, New York is dynamic melting pot full of inspiration. It's no wonder millions of people go there to fulfill their dreams, their aspirations. Coming from Miami, I wouldn't be able to settle for anything less than a big city atmosphere and they don't call New York "The Big Apple" for nothing. Not only that, Miami is also ethnically diverse so waking up to anything less that just wouldn't work. I've been exposed to multiple walks of life. I've learned so much from each and every person I've met. I want to continue my pursuit in learning from unique people.
My college search was a little bit backwards. I searched for where I wanted my future college to be located first. I believe that the environment you surround yourself with is vital for growth. New York University's campus location offers the best experiences such as internships and many networking possibilities within stone's throw. NYU Steinhardt's media, culture, and communications program provides the rigorous coursework needed in challenging any aspiring student and stimulating their growth.
While I've only visited New York once, something about it just clicked. I felt like I found another place I could call home. I need an active, colorful environment in order to remain motivated and inspired. The hustle and bustle is what I live for. New York University has everything I need to thrive and prosper.
Is there anything I should add? Anything I should take out? Any type of feedback is greatly appreciated.
When you get past the bright lights and fast pace, New York is dynamic melting pot full of inspiration. It's no wonder millions of people go there to fulfill their dreams, their aspirations. Coming from Miami, I wouldn't be able to settle for anything less than a big city atmosphere and they don't call New York "The Big Apple" for nothing. Not only that, Miami is also ethnically diverse so waking up to anything less that just wouldn't work. I've been exposed to multiple walks of life. I've learned so much from each and every person I've met. I want to continue my pursuit in learning from unique people.
My college search was a little bit backwards. I searched for where I wanted my future college to be located first. I believe that the environment you surround yourself with is vital for growth. New York University's campus location offers the best experiences such as internships and many networking possibilities within stone's throw. NYU Steinhardt's media, culture, and communications program provides the rigorous coursework needed in challenging any aspiring student and stimulating their growth.
While I've only visited New York once, something about it just clicked. I felt like I found another place I could call home. I need an active, colorful environment in order to remain motivated and inspired. The hustle and bustle is what I live for. New York University has everything I need to thrive and prosper.
rrolle
Dec 30, 2011
Undergraduate / From Miami / Public Relations / Weird activities - BostonU Supplements [4]
Thank you! You both helped me a lot.
Thank you! You both helped me a lot.
rrolle
Dec 30, 2011
Undergraduate / I was slightly discouraged; UVA - what has surprised, unsettled, or challenged you [7]
youtube should be YouTube.
Hardcore is one word.
Everything is pretty much perfect. I couldn't find any grammatical errors. Your sentence structures and variety are pristine. You have a great command of the English language.
Good luck :)
youtube should be YouTube.
Hardcore is one word.
Everything is pretty much perfect. I couldn't find any grammatical errors. Your sentence structures and variety are pristine. You have a great command of the English language.
Good luck :)
rrolle
Dec 30, 2011
Undergraduate / 'I was struck by the beauty of the campus' - why yale short answer [4]
The architecture is reminiscent of Oxford and Cambridge, reminding me of home.
I could see Yale being my new home.
I felt welcomed by the lively, exciting admissions talks and videos. I can imagine myself spending four years with such great people.
Overall, it's short, sweet, and to the point. Good luck!
Hope I helped. :)
The architecture is reminiscent of that seen in Oxford or Cambridge and reminded me of home.
The architecture is reminiscent of Oxford and Cambridge, reminding me of home.
I could see myself at home at Yale.
I could see Yale being my new home.
I felt welcomed by the lively, exciting admissions talks and video and I could imagine spending four years with those people.
I felt welcomed by the lively, exciting admissions talks and videos. I can imagine myself spending four years with such great people.
Overall, it's short, sweet, and to the point. Good luck!
Hope I helped. :)
rrolle
Dec 30, 2011
Undergraduate / 'Enrichment program and 'unique' solution' - BU Supplement - Diversity [13]
Leadership is one word :)
I'd rewrite this as "One activity involved coming up with a unique solution to a community problem." I was taught not to stretch out a sentence.
A comma isn't needed here.
There's something about the flow of this sentence, maybe it's just me. I'd rewrite this as "The problem regarded a fictional town on the gulf coast of Mississippi's economy affected by the recent BP oil spill damaging it's beaches, causing a decline in tourism."
The town was experiencing a rise in
Add a comma between "to at" and "campus distant" Distant should also be changed to "distance themselves"
I think this part should be cut out completely simply because one doesn't need to experience poverty to have a different perspective.
Everything else looks alright to me. Hope I helped. Good luck :)
leader ship
Leadership is one word :)
One of the activities involved having to come up with a unique solution to a community problem.
I'd rewrite this as "One activity involved coming up with a unique solution to a community problem." I was taught not to stretch out a sentence.
groups,
A comma isn't needed here.
The problem regarded a fictional town on the gulf coast of Mississippi economically hurt by the recent BP oil spill because this affected the tourism to the city's beaches.
There's something about the flow of this sentence, maybe it's just me. I'd rewrite this as "The problem regarded a fictional town on the gulf coast of Mississippi's economy affected by the recent BP oil spill damaging it's beaches, causing a decline in tourism."
In addition to the oil spill, the town was seeing a raise in teen crime rate and a high dropout rate of the high school students.
The town was experiencing a rise in
Each group was required to at various locations around campus distant from other the groups so that no two groups could listen to the other group's solution development to the problem.
Add a comma between "to at" and "campus distant" Distant should also be changed to "distance themselves"
I was amazed at how the similar
who has been through poverty
I think this part should be cut out completely simply because one doesn't need to experience poverty to have a different perspective.
Everything else looks alright to me. Hope I helped. Good luck :)
rrolle
Dec 30, 2011
Undergraduate / From Miami / Public Relations / Weird activities - BostonU Supplements [4]
- In a few sentences, please tell us why BU is a good fit for you and what specifically has led you to apply for admission? 750 characters
o Coming from Miami, Boston University has the same, familiar urban city setting that I've grown accustomed to. The campus location makes the best learning experiences like interning and networking possibilities available within a stone's throw. Boston University's communications program in public relations provides the rigorous coursework needed in challenging any aspiring student to increase their communication skills. As a dedicated, persevering student, my desire for a scholastic challenge led me to apply for admission. However, upon learning more about Boston University, I've learned that the university essentially prepares its students for life and thus I realized that Boston University would be not just a good fit but an amazing one.
- It is three weeks before the start of your freshman year at BU, and you are talking to your new roommate for the first time. Since you are trying to get to know each other, what are a few things you would want to share about who you are? 500 words
You'd think that because I want to major in public relations that I'd be an excellent conversation starter. Well roommate, you are very much mistaken. To say that I'm nervous in talking to you for the first time is definitely an understatement. However let me warn you, once you get me talking its quite hard for me to stop. So please, feel free to stop me whenever you get tired of hearing me talk.
I prefer being called Rae but you can call me whatever you like. I was born in the Bahamas, but I've lived in Miami all my life. I'm very opened-minded and accepting so there's no need to worry about having a judgmental roommate. If you ever need help for anything, I'll try my best to give you a hand. I usually always have your back, weather permitting. It may be naïve of me but I believe that most people should be trusted until given a reason not to be, so pardon me if I'm being too forward.
Don't expect to catch me in our dorm room often or in the same place actually. I like to explore new sceneries so expect to find me roaming the city after I've searched every inch of the campus. I'm a coffee fanatic so you'll probably find me in a coffee shop, if anything. I love company so it would be great if you want to come along on one of my escapades.
My taste in activities might seem a bit weird to you. I enjoy art auctions, art galleries, concerts, ice skating, and garage sales. Although it may seem like I'm an artsy person because I enjoy art so much, I can't draw to save my life. I'm just fascinated by people's extraordinary abilities and well, I like pretty pictures. Music is what wakes me up in the morning and what keeps me from going to sleep. No genre is off limits to me so I'll go to any concert that I can afford. It probably sounds strange since I'm from Miami and all but I love ice skating. There's no snow but there are ice arenas and that's good enough for me. Finally, garage sales are the best because it's a mystery what you'll find and when you find something great, it's like finding a diamond at an affordable price. Another person's trash is really someone else's treasure.
I love comedy, mystery, and anime movies. Studio Ghibli movies are my favorite. Scary movies are my least favorite, play one and likely the whole campus will be able to hear my screams. Even if there's no comedy movie playing, I tend to laugh a lot. I can be pretty goofy, make a lot of jokes, and do things that people would consider to be off the rocker. However, I can control myself so don't worry about having a handful of a roommate. There's so much I could tell you but that's enough about me. I'm excited to be your roommate so tell me about yourself.
Thank you so much for the help.
- In a few sentences, please tell us why BU is a good fit for you and what specifically has led you to apply for admission? 750 characters
o Coming from Miami, Boston University has the same, familiar urban city setting that I've grown accustomed to. The campus location makes the best learning experiences like interning and networking possibilities available within a stone's throw. Boston University's communications program in public relations provides the rigorous coursework needed in challenging any aspiring student to increase their communication skills. As a dedicated, persevering student, my desire for a scholastic challenge led me to apply for admission. However, upon learning more about Boston University, I've learned that the university essentially prepares its students for life and thus I realized that Boston University would be not just a good fit but an amazing one.
- It is three weeks before the start of your freshman year at BU, and you are talking to your new roommate for the first time. Since you are trying to get to know each other, what are a few things you would want to share about who you are? 500 words
You'd think that because I want to major in public relations that I'd be an excellent conversation starter. Well roommate, you are very much mistaken. To say that I'm nervous in talking to you for the first time is definitely an understatement. However let me warn you, once you get me talking its quite hard for me to stop. So please, feel free to stop me whenever you get tired of hearing me talk.
I prefer being called Rae but you can call me whatever you like. I was born in the Bahamas, but I've lived in Miami all my life. I'm very opened-minded and accepting so there's no need to worry about having a judgmental roommate. If you ever need help for anything, I'll try my best to give you a hand. I usually always have your back, weather permitting. It may be naïve of me but I believe that most people should be trusted until given a reason not to be, so pardon me if I'm being too forward.
Don't expect to catch me in our dorm room often or in the same place actually. I like to explore new sceneries so expect to find me roaming the city after I've searched every inch of the campus. I'm a coffee fanatic so you'll probably find me in a coffee shop, if anything. I love company so it would be great if you want to come along on one of my escapades.
My taste in activities might seem a bit weird to you. I enjoy art auctions, art galleries, concerts, ice skating, and garage sales. Although it may seem like I'm an artsy person because I enjoy art so much, I can't draw to save my life. I'm just fascinated by people's extraordinary abilities and well, I like pretty pictures. Music is what wakes me up in the morning and what keeps me from going to sleep. No genre is off limits to me so I'll go to any concert that I can afford. It probably sounds strange since I'm from Miami and all but I love ice skating. There's no snow but there are ice arenas and that's good enough for me. Finally, garage sales are the best because it's a mystery what you'll find and when you find something great, it's like finding a diamond at an affordable price. Another person's trash is really someone else's treasure.
I love comedy, mystery, and anime movies. Studio Ghibli movies are my favorite. Scary movies are my least favorite, play one and likely the whole campus will be able to hear my screams. Even if there's no comedy movie playing, I tend to laugh a lot. I can be pretty goofy, make a lot of jokes, and do things that people would consider to be off the rocker. However, I can control myself so don't worry about having a handful of a roommate. There's so much I could tell you but that's enough about me. I'm excited to be your roommate so tell me about yourself.
Thank you so much for the help.
