Undergraduate / 'I figure out the mechanics of any object' - STANFORD: roommate letter [2]

Dear Mystery Roommate,

It is with great trepidation that I compose this message to thee, my prospective dormitory partner. I have just been informed of a plot formed to result in my own demise! This dastardly scheme has greatly unsettled me. I pray you are not privy to the plan...

I hope you don't take my mistrust too seriously. I just happen to be engrossed in Agatha Christie's spectacular novel And Then There Were None. Mystery novels can get me a bit on edge. In fact, whenever I immerse myself in a truly fascinating work of literature I usually tend to start acting like the narrator. It would be best if you remembered that about me. I would rather not be questioned on my insanity when I reread The Turn of the Screw.

I do enjoy a good book, but my passion for mystery trumps my love of the written word. Having an unsolved puzzle at my fingertips gives me the greatest pleasure. That probably explains why I love engineering. Once I figure out the mechanics of any object, it's like a treasure has opened up to me. My constant itch to figure out how things work might become a bit annoying to you. I should now apologize in advance for tinkering with your fridge/lamp/popcorn popper; I cannot help being fascinated with the magic of modern inventions. If you would like, I would love to share my discoveries with you. Who wouldn't want to uncover the inner workings of a toaster oven?

My love of mystery might also explain my infatuation with astronomy. Space is the ultimate unsolved mystery, the never-ending story. Even with infinite exploration, humans will barely tap the surface of the enormity that is the universe. However, I am doing my best, so you will often see my dorm bed empty when clouds are not obscuring the night sky.

But college is like a mystery novel in itself. A cast of characters, each with their own distinctive personalities, throw into a dorm hall together. Even you, roomie, are a mystery to me at the moment. Nevertheless, I am truly excited to discover your story and find out your own quirky habits. Together, we can figure out how exactly we fit in, and then we can take Stanford by storm.

I need to cut it down about 100 characters, suggestions are greatly appreciated!

Undergraduate / (Gospel choir / Post-It-Notes) COLUMBIA ESSAYS [3]

COLUMBIA

Please tell us what you found meaningful about one of the above mentioned books, publications or cultural events.
Gaudy, multi-colored signs. The sweet, enticing smell of frying churros. Soulful music from a Gospel choir praising their Lord. An ocean of bodies, city-dwellers and tourists alike, pressing against me. It might be called the Taste of Chicago, but the endless rush of details invigorates every one of my senses. I maneuver through the ebb and flow of the crowd until I find an empty spot on one of the grassy hills. I flop down onto the grass and finally dig into a vegan kabob I had picked up along the way. It really did taste like chicken; as a former meat-lover, I have the right to judge.

As I munch on my tasty treat, I admire my surroundings. Only in Chicago can you find such a diverse crowd. Families, college buddies, elderly couples; blacks, whites, Hispanics. It's as if God has plucked a character from every walk of life, mixed them all up in a salad bowl, and dropped them down into this festival. It would at least explain the lack of balance the crowd around the Budweiser booth seems to be experiencing. Nevertheless, the myriad of cultures makes me realize the powerful affect food has on us. Food is the magnet that unites people together. No matter your age, ethnicity, or opinion on the Cubs-White Sox rivalry, everyone has to eat. And when they do, they experience a unique communion found only in the sacred act of sharing a meal. So this festival of foods is not just a tourist attraction. It is a connection between cultures, a ribbon that ties every unique member of Chicago into a community.

Please tell us what academic class has been your favorite and why.
With a ragged book bursting with Post-it Notes in one of my sweaty palms, I settle into my seat at the Round Table. The other three students also sit; we each nervously glance at the others. "You may begin," says Ms. Smith from her desk. I take a deep breath and plunge into the depths of Prince Hamlet's unhinged mind. My fellow students soon follow. In our discussion, we examine interactions, soliloquies, anything that could possibly have acted as the source of Hamlet's madness. Finally, the teacher says, "Time's up." We walk back to our seats, faces clearly painted with relief, as the rest of the class applauds our passable performance.

From the beginning, AP English IV has been unique. Our first day ended with every student standing on their desk, Dead Poet's Society-esque, as our teacher showed us her acceptance of new ideas in old works. With little right or wrong answers, she rarely lectures. Instead, Ms. Smith raises open-ended questions and waits for our response, trusting four years of honors english to send us to the right answer. They usually do. Or, she groups us randomly and sends us to the Round Table to have a graded discussion on our current novel or play. These unconventional methods work because not only is my teacher phenomenal; my classmates are as well. After four years of weeding out the unacademic, the only students left in this singular AP class are the highest-achieving seniors of our school. We are united by our passion for reading between the lines and our endless drive to succeed. So naturally, every discussion engages the entire class, and together we delve into the fascinating inner workings of British literature.

both need to be cut down by a hundred characters or so, so cuts are good! :)
Criticism is much appreciated, thanks!!

Undergraduate / 'melted butter' + 'my current identity' + 'math' + 'possibilities' - SYRACUSE [2]

SYRACUSE SUPPLEMENT:

1. Who or what influenced you to apply to Syracuse University?
Syracuse? The name slides off the tongue like melted butter. I admire the envelope's bright orange seal for a moment and then turn it over to find the address: upstate New York. As a Southern California native, I relish the thought of seasons: fiery leaves in the fall, crystalline snow in winter, and a rebirth of life in the spring. Upon further research on the university's website, I find that Syracuse has much more to offer me than changing leaves. The engineering school shines above and beyond my expectations, allowing undergraduates access to laboratories, as well as involvement in research activities with professors. Even more impressive is the university's study abroad program, which gives engineering majors the opportunity to spend a year of study in London. With every click of the mouse, I discover another aspect of Syracuse that support their mission of "scholarship in action." Yet in spite of its urge to reach out into the real world, Syracuse still displays a sense of togetherness that I have not seen in any prior college. All my sources proved to me that Syracuse is a community both united by common goals and willing to serve the world, and I believe I can bring my own unique contribution to that spirited population.

2. Who is the person you dream of becoming and how do you believe Syracuse University can help you achieve this?
While I am excited for college, I do not want it to ultimately change who I am. I value my current identity. Instead of discarding my origins, I want to grow out of them into a more fully developed me. I wish to grow more inventive and more confident in my abilities. I also dream of broadening my perspective of the world and experiencing a closer connection with other cultures. Finally, I wish to expand my knowledge of human's impact on the environment, in order to become a more environmentally conscious individual. Syracuse has all the tools for me to grow into the woman I want to become. It gives students endless windows to expand their research into real-world situations. Syracuse also houses a global community that little other universities can rival with. This is created by its close proximity to New York City, a Mecca of all cultures, as well as Syracuse's acceptance of students from around the world. This diversity at the university's home combined with its renowned study abroad program creates a perfect environment for experiencing other cultures. Syracuse is also a forerunner in the designing of sustainable buildings and renewable energy. By using its methods of "going green" I will surely succeed in lessening my impact on the natural world.

3. If you have had work experience, what skills and/or knowledge did you gain?
I currently tutor several students on a weekly basis in a wide range of mathematical subjects. I first advertised my services in the hopes of refreshing my own math skills and earning some money to save up for college. In tutoring, I found so much more. My clients assume I know everything there is to know about math. While this concept was at first terrifying, it has now encouraged me to learn more so I can live up to their expectations. Tutoring has also instilled within me the true values of patience persistence. No matter how frustrating the job can be, my dedication becomes worth it when I finally see comprehension light up a student's face. Overall tutoring has changed me for the better, and I continue my work to this day.

4. Our mission of Scholarship in Action, education for the world in the world, extends beyond the classroom to include engagement opportunities with our campus community, the City of Syracuse, and locations across the globe. Based on your interests, tell us what real-world experiences you might pursue during your education at Syracuse as part of this mission.

Syracuse provides endless possibilities for their students, and I will certainly use some of these to further my own knowledge. While I am sure of engineering as my career, music acts as my escape. Music shines emotional expression into life, creating powerful connections between individuals that I believe cannot be created with any other art form. I have pursued my love of musical performance in several fields, from marching the alto saxophone in band to singing in several school musicals. I wish to continue sharing music with others at Syracuse, through joining some of their many ensembles available to non-majors. I am also very interested in researching ways to lessen our human impact on our surrounding environment. I believe our view of the world needs to change drastically if we wish to save any of its natural environment. Therefore, I will surely make use of Syracuse's wide range of facilities that cater to sustainability research, including the Syracuse CoE Headquarters and the BEESL lab. With these tools at my fingertips, I will be ready to begin my part in solving the world's environmental crisis.

Lemme know what you think! Comment & I'll comment on yours :)

Undergraduate / Take a Risk! I send my fingers up the now-familiar rosewood frets. Notre Dame [3]

Prompt: 4. You have 150 words. Take a risk.

I send my fingers up the now-familiar rosewood frets. They settle onto the uke's faded fiber strings, strange bald birds upon four aligned telephone wires. I form a G chord and strum, the notes resonating down to my very core. I take my fingers off the frets and admire the tiny calluses that have formed from constant strumming. Each one is a mini mounded monument that attests to the past few months of my unwavering devotion to the skill. This is a personal accomplishment, produced solely through self-determination. I rise from my reverie to find myself back around our smoky beachside bonfire and to hear a friend call out the name of a new favorite tune. My fingers find the chords, and I strum the beginning notes to "Kantoi", as my friends shamelessly belt out the first verse across the dark sandy beach towards the moonlit ocean.

Let me know!! Thanks :)