Undergraduate / 'Being the son of immigrants' - Ut Austin [5]

Hello guys im doing my UT austin essay A

Can i please get some feed back on what i written so far i'm having trouble with it. Thank you

Being the son of immigrants I've always wanted to better myself and become someone my parents would be proud of. After all they had both left their home country to give my brother and I the opportunities they never had. Except I had to go through a life changing experience to ignite a passion to succeed in school and guide me towards a career in business.

As if by chance both of my parents work for BBQ restaurants in the Austin
area. My dad who has been working at the same restaurant for over a decade; came home everyday only to fill up the house with the BBQ scent I loved so much. Little did I know that what actually permeated throughout the room was smoke fused into his clothes after working the BBQ ovens every day, all day. Years later I had a run in with those ovens.

It was the summer break after my junior year in high school and I needed a job. Ironically, the only one I could find was at a small family owned BBQ restaurant doing simple tasks from working the cash register to washing dishes. Two weeks into my job the manager surprised me when he told me that I needed to learn how to prepare briskets. After I was taught how to salt and pepper the briskets he instructed me to put fifty inside of an oven pit. Once I opened the pit I was hit by a heat wave and blinded by a dark cloud of smoke that burned my eyes to the point where they started to water. As I struggled to balance the slabs of meat on the oven racks my forearms were constantly being scratched by hardened left over grease. Minutes later I felt a strong burning sensation coming from my arms, it was caused by the briskets salt that had brushed against my forearms. As sweat began running down my face I tried to wipe my eyes ,except I couldn't because my sleeves were stained with grease and my hands smeared with blood. At the exact moment I realized that the scent emitted from my father's clothes, he got it by going through what I had just gone through, not for one day, but for over ten years. I felt something I hadn't felt throughout school and it was the desire to succeed, this time not just to make my parents proud, but for myself.

This desire prompted to follow a business career. I knew that having a solid business education would open the many doors and opportunities my parents never had . Throughout my years in school I have always enjoyed taking the responsibility of a group leader. Talking to group members, making sure everyone was at task and getting projects done. This trait still follows me today. The idea that business decisions can impact the world fascinates me. Everyone is in some way impacted by businesses everyday whether it's through what they see or day to day interactions