cocoyan
Jun 6, 2012
Writing Feedback / IELTS importance of co-operation rather than competition in children's education [5]
Thank you so much. Your correction is really helpful.
Thank you so much. Your correction is really helpful.
cocoyan
May 20, 2012
Writing Feedback / IELTS importance of co-operation rather than competition in children's education [5]
Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
The intense of competition in the graduate job markets has prompted many educators to emphasis the importance of competition rather than co-operation between students. But is such a competitive skill the basis of being a useful adult?
The advantages of being competitive in the modern society are apparent. People who have such abilities are believed more likely to gain competitive jobs, win in a business and become the leaders of the masses. The capacity of competitiveness and individualism cultivated in an early age, admittedly, do help the person to win in some circumstances.
On the other hand, even though such person may success to some extent, it is hard for them to maintain their achievements in a long term basis. The fundamental reason for this is, I believe, they are more easily to be an enemy of team workers, business partners and even their bosses due to their personality of being selfish and individualism. Without cooperating and collaborating with others, they would encounter many barriers from different aspects and would not be able to achieve any success.
Apart from that, children, specifically, with over-strong ambitious to be a winner are more likely to suffer failure psychologically due to their emotional immature. It is the educators' responsibility to enhance the children's ability comprehending what is team work, why it is essential to be a good team-player, and how to win through cooperating with others. With those in mind, they will hold positive attitudes with the supports from their teams to face challenges and failure during any competitions.
In conclusion, it is advantageous to have ability to compete with others, while learning to be a good team player and compete in a positive way is the fundament to be a success adult in a long-term basis. Thus, educators must emphasis the importance of co-operation rather than competition in children's education.
Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
The intense of competition in the graduate job markets has prompted many educators to emphasis the importance of competition rather than co-operation between students. But is such a competitive skill the basis of being a useful adult?
The advantages of being competitive in the modern society are apparent. People who have such abilities are believed more likely to gain competitive jobs, win in a business and become the leaders of the masses. The capacity of competitiveness and individualism cultivated in an early age, admittedly, do help the person to win in some circumstances.
On the other hand, even though such person may success to some extent, it is hard for them to maintain their achievements in a long term basis. The fundamental reason for this is, I believe, they are more easily to be an enemy of team workers, business partners and even their bosses due to their personality of being selfish and individualism. Without cooperating and collaborating with others, they would encounter many barriers from different aspects and would not be able to achieve any success.
Apart from that, children, specifically, with over-strong ambitious to be a winner are more likely to suffer failure psychologically due to their emotional immature. It is the educators' responsibility to enhance the children's ability comprehending what is team work, why it is essential to be a good team-player, and how to win through cooperating with others. With those in mind, they will hold positive attitudes with the supports from their teams to face challenges and failure during any competitions.
In conclusion, it is advantageous to have ability to compete with others, while learning to be a good team player and compete in a positive way is the fundament to be a success adult in a long-term basis. Thus, educators must emphasis the importance of co-operation rather than competition in children's education.
cocoyan
May 20, 2012
Letters / 'reconsider my admission term' - international student's appeal letter (grammar). [4]
I believe this is a good letter, I cannot see any apparent mistakes. Just send it out. Do not worry too much.
I believe this is a good letter, I cannot see any apparent mistakes. Just send it out. Do not worry too much.
cocoyan
May 20, 2012
Writing Feedback / Cell phones, make life easier or make human depend on it? [4]
Clearly, cell phone makes life easier, especially for businessmen to make long-distance call.
However, another drawback of texting is people will depend seriously on technology. Some teen nowadays can't be separated from their cell phone (cannot live without a phone) even in a minute.
Some mobile phones, which are now evolved and allow users to watch movies, listen to music, read books and make a video call.
People, who use such cell phones, no need to worry about whether they can see the people who are talking in the phone.
With this improvement, people no longer needs(need) to by (buy) television, books anymore because mobile phone can do everything.
Clearly, cell phone makes life easier, especially for businessmen to make long-distance call.
However, another drawback of texting is people will depend seriously on technology. Some teen nowadays can't be separated from their cell phone (cannot live without a phone) even in a minute.
Some mobile phones, which are now evolved and allow users to watch movies, listen to music, read books and make a video call.
People, who use such cell phones, no need to worry about whether they can see the people who are talking in the phone.
With this improvement, people no longer needs(need) to by (buy) television, books anymore because mobile phone can do everything.
cocoyan
Jan 31, 2012
Writing Feedback / [IELTS] Is air travel only benefit for the richest people? [NEW]
In the present-day society, it is believed that air travel has become the best way to travel a far distance. But meanwhile, many people assert that travelling by air is only for the people who are rich and who can afford it while others cannot take advantage of it. Personally, I think the view is overly simplistic.
Convincing arguments can be made that taking flights is more economical for travelers for some reaons . Firstly, the economic advancing has boosted the living costs to a high level. It is not cheap anymore to buy a train ticket or ship ticket when you are traveling a long distance, not to mention the travel expense for meals on the journey. Meanwhile, it is not uncommon to buy a discount ticket if you book in advance, which can even save more money than by other transports. Furthermore, the stiff competition between each airplane companies also put the flight prices down enormously. They tend to make a price campaign globally and manly target on average-income population. Eventually, more and more common people are choosing airplane to travel, even it is economical-class, and that also brings a vast of benefits to the air firms and encourages them to continue this trend.
Admittedly, the market price of flight tickets is normally high so that the majority people have to choose cheaper means to travel. The main reason for this is that the costs of fuel and human resources in each flying are comparatively higher than that of other ordinary transports. In addition, no matter how fast the airplane can fly, it is not practical for people who only travel in a short distance; therefore, it is still the favorite of the minority who tend to trave far.
In summary, even though airplane may not be the best option of travelling in a close distance, most people will still choose it when they are travelling far away, such as overseas. I am conceded that air travel is not restricted to benefit the rich, but it is becoming welcomed by common people since its price is going down.
In the present-day society, it is believed that air travel has become the best way to travel a far distance. But meanwhile, many people assert that travelling by air is only for the people who are rich and who can afford it while others cannot take advantage of it. Personally, I think the view is overly simplistic.
Convincing arguments can be made that taking flights is more economical for travelers for some reaons . Firstly, the economic advancing has boosted the living costs to a high level. It is not cheap anymore to buy a train ticket or ship ticket when you are traveling a long distance, not to mention the travel expense for meals on the journey. Meanwhile, it is not uncommon to buy a discount ticket if you book in advance, which can even save more money than by other transports. Furthermore, the stiff competition between each airplane companies also put the flight prices down enormously. They tend to make a price campaign globally and manly target on average-income population. Eventually, more and more common people are choosing airplane to travel, even it is economical-class, and that also brings a vast of benefits to the air firms and encourages them to continue this trend.
Admittedly, the market price of flight tickets is normally high so that the majority people have to choose cheaper means to travel. The main reason for this is that the costs of fuel and human resources in each flying are comparatively higher than that of other ordinary transports. In addition, no matter how fast the airplane can fly, it is not practical for people who only travel in a short distance; therefore, it is still the favorite of the minority who tend to trave far.
In summary, even though airplane may not be the best option of travelling in a close distance, most people will still choose it when they are travelling far away, such as overseas. I am conceded that air travel is not restricted to benefit the rich, but it is becoming welcomed by common people since its price is going down.
