Undergraduate / Final U of M Essays Short Essays. Punctuation and Quality Comments needed [10]

School of Nursing: Describe why you want to be a nurse. Include your specific experiences and abilities related to health care that will make you a good candidate for the nursing profession. Also describe your understanding of nursing's role in health care and how you see yourself embodying these roles.

"Wake up," said my mother in a panic, "there's been an accident." We rushed to the ER where we immediately encountered family who had assembled in the lobby. As time passed, anxious minds began to race as thoughts of the unknown surfaced. Then, as uncertainty reached its climax, we were approached by a few nurses. They informed us of the stabilizing condition of my uncle, providing us with comfort and care as if we too had been injured. With recurring hospital visits, I discovered that our experience with nurses that day was not a special occurrence, but rather the norm with all the nurses we encountered. I became intrigued, and my interest in nursing began to flourish.

As my Knowledge of the nursing profession increased, I became progressively aware that nursing would be the perfect job for me. Nursing requires many attributes such as intelligence, flexibility, patience, and most importantly, teamwork. Furthermore, with nursing as the backbone of health care, a lack of nurses can result in overpopulated waiting areas, longer waiting times, and late or cancelled procedures. I have experienced working extensively with a team and believe I obtain all the qualities that would make me an excellent candidate for the nursing profession.

My interest in nursing has rapidly evolved into a desire to not only embody the integral role of nursing as the foundation upon which health care stands, but to provide impacting care to individuals in the same manner it was provided to me. All attainable aspirations through my future preparations at the University of Michigan's School of Nursing.

Share an experience through which you have gained respect for intellectual, social, or cultural differences. Comment on how your personal experiences and achievements would contribute to the diversity of the University of Michigan.

Beginning at the age of sixteen at my current place of employment, I was immediately thrust into the diverse yet exciting culture of the Philippines. With owners, managers, and a majority of the workers being of the Filipino nationality, the primary language of the Philippines, Tagalog, is spoken frequently. The intimidation caused by this language barrier was quickly destroyed as I became familiar with the language. For instance, I would say "Baliw Ka," which means "you are crazy" in Tagalog, striking immediate laughter amongst my colleagues, lessening tension.

With time, I began to establish close relationships with my new found colleagues. Through these relationships, I was able to build a strong friendship with a girl named Krysyl, who just recently moved to the United States from the Philippines. As a result, I began to discover fascinating things about the Filipino culture while also sharing my own personal experiences. We began to exchange stories of family, education, religion, and common every day things. I was astonished by how much we have in common despite being raised thousands of miles apart. We have gained respect for one another both individually and culturally and will continue our friendship for years to come.

As I proceed in my life and my education at the University of Michigan, I plan to share these experiences with others in an attempt to impact their lives' as much as they have impacted mine. A small but vital role to increase cultural appreciation, not only at the University of Michigan, but wherever life takes me.

Undergraduate / 'the gift of singing' - U of M Setback Essay Punctuation help [9]

Here is my biggest essay for the University of Michigan. I am not fully confident in my punctuation skills and am looking for some help. Also, this is the final draft and would like to know if it is good. Thanks

[A] Describe a setback that you have faced. How did you resolve it? How did the outcome affect you? If something similar happened in the future, how would you react? (Approximately 500 words).ï

There I stood, sweat dripping down my face, my legs shaking as if they were made of Jell-O, and my heart beating violently inside my chest. Minutes passed for what seemed like hours as the judges contemplated my fate. Then, with a gesture of a hand, I was summoned to the judges' table. The piercing glances of the judges which had struck intimidating fear in my bones, had now been offset by smiles upon their faces. "I made it!" I thought. But as words began to flow from their mouths, my short-lived excitement turned to despair. "Unfortunately", one judge said, "We cannot send you through to the next round." My heart, which was beating more violently than ever, now felt as if it had stopped. But I believe I am getting ahead of myself, so let us go back to where this story began.

In discovering the gift of singing at a very young age, vocal music became a huge part of my life. In an effort to develop this new found talent I began singing at home, at church, and in local, state, and national singing competitions. Over the years my passion for singing grew so immensely that I desired to audition for American Idol, a television program which provides singers the opportunity to further their music careers by competing for a record deal. Finally, at the age of 17, my dream became a reality as I traveled to Louisville, Kentucky for the auditions. After countless hours of waiting, it was my turn to audition. The previously mentioned events unfolded leaving me with feelings of anger and disappointment; anger towards the judges for not moving me forward in the competition, and disappointment towards myself for thinking I could have done something different.

With time, however, I came to the realization that this setback, which I once perceived to be the end of my singing pursuits, was really just the beginning of my musical endeavors. Growth in life occurs through stepping out of your comfort zone and taking risks. The outcomes of these risks can be good or bad. While the good ones are undoubtedly favored among most, I believe the bad ones are much more profitable in the long run. They cause those who must overcome them to learn and to grow from these experiences in ways they never imagined. For instance, the results of my audition sparked a growth in my singing confidence, as well as a desire to continue to grow and to develop my passion for singing, none of which could have been attained had it not been for the obstacles with which I was faced.

Despite the fact that I did not succeed the first time, I plan to audition again. I will approach this next audition with a sprit of gratitude, knowing that I have already benefited from the previous audition in such a profound way. I will proceed to grow and to learn from this life changing experience, and continue to persevere until I am that which I started out to become, the next American Idol.

Faq, Help / Can I repost a revised essay or it will be deleted? [12]

Okay, so I posted a revised essay of mine and it was closed. I don't understand why?

Undergraduate / Experience for intellectual, social, or cultural differences, essay U of M [3]

Any tips would help! Grammar, sentence structure, flow. Thanks

Short Answer Question (Approximately 250 words)
Make sure your name and the question text are at the top of each page.
"We know that diversity makes us a better university -- better for learning, for teaching, and for conducting research."
(U-M President Mary Sue Coleman)

Share an experience through which you have gained respect for intellectual, social, or cultural differences. Comment on how your personal experiences and achievements would contribute to the diversity of the University of Michigan.

Please include a one-inch margin on each page of your document.

One of the most significant cultural experiences I have encountered, began at the age of sixteen at my current place of employment. With owners, managers, and a majority of the workers being of the Filipino nationality, I was immediately immersed in a strange and new environment. Tagalog, the primary language of the Philippines, was spoken frequently among my Filipino colleagues, and was something I was not familiar with. Many different types of cuisines were also presented to me that I had not encountered before. Some of which I was reluctant to try.

Despite the dissimilarities I had already encountered, I began to build relationships, as well as friendships, with my new found coworkers. Through these friendships I began to discover new and exciting things about the Filipino culture. A few aspects, such as their deeply rooted devotion to family and high esteem of elders, are vastly different than what I was accustomed to. However, many characteristics, such as their educational system and religious beliefs, are very similar to those of the United States.These similarities have helped me come to the realization that although we may come from completely different backgrounds, we all share some commonalities.

Through these experiences, I have gained an appreciation not only for the Filipino culture, but for all cultures. An appreciation that I can contribute to any situation of cultural differences, including that of the University of Michigan.