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Posts by YangTeng
Joined: Feb 12, 2012
Last Post: Jul 24, 2012
Threads: 4
Posts: 6  

From: Singapore

Displayed posts: 10
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YangTeng   
Jul 24, 2012
Writing Feedback / 'leadership is vital to a country to stay united' - essay [2]

This is my attempt on a expository essay. I appreciate any corrections/feedbacks on my essay to improve it. Sorry for the numerous grammer mistakes made, i`m still learning it.

Leadership

Leadership is the fundamental aspect in all forms of society and governance. A society, or a human society, is a group of people related to each other through persistent relations, or a large social grouping sharing the same geographical or virtual territory, subject to the same governance and dominant cultural expectations. Governance is more than just a set of institutional arrangements to ensure the effective functioning of society; it is the leader of the society. A government without the ability to execute leadership on its people will lead to the disarray and utter chaos of the society, as there will be no law, no direction, and no order. Effective systems of governance are necessary but the key is the quality of leadership that resides in all institutions of governance. In fact, the quality of governance follows naturally from good leadership. In the following essay, we should discuss the key principles of defining a good leadership.

The most basic requirement of a good leadership in an institution of governance is its ability to eschew corruption but is often taken for granted. If the government`s leaders fail to meet this necessary standard of probity, it cannot be demanded of any other official throughout the system. The foundation of the public` trust in the government stem from their belief that, decisions made by the government bodies are without fear or favour; but for the interests of the society and the public. Thus, one of the imperatives of a good leadership is its ability to make fair, consistent and unbiased decisions for the benefits of the society.

Besides eschewing corruption, a good leadership also requires the government to be pragmatic. If the government was to build all considerations into all their policies, they would be almost impossible to implement. They also have to take into accord of the various constraints before implementing a policy, including myriad external and internal factors; especially in a country of multi-racial context. Being pragmatic also means that government and institutions of governance must re-examine their policies from time to time and question whether the assumptions remains valid. Hence, being pragmatic is also a key principle of a good leadership in a government or institution of governance.

In conclusion, leadership is vital to a country if it should remain united, overcome problems that arise and working towards the same goal. Unless there is proper leadership, divisive tendencies arise in the country, and the country will fall into disarray. The task of leadership is not to put greatness into humanity, but to elicit it, for the greatness is already there.
YangTeng   
Jul 24, 2012
Undergraduate / 'Homophobia Essay' UT Choose an issue of importance to you... [3]

Perhaps you could say that you want to further understand what are the factors pushing people mentally towards Homophobia? ( This could link to your interest and purpose taking up psychology ). So in order to change the negative mindset of the general public towards homosexuality but to accept them. Personally, i think you have to link WHY and HOW does taking up psychology helps you in your quest to stand against homophobia and change the general attitude of the public. As there`s a chinese proverb that says " The only way to cure a disease is to cure the root cause( factors that contribute to the negativity towards homosexuality), not treating the symptoms (Physcially or legally stopping the act of homophobia only, but the people continue to have the same mindset.)" .

I hope this helps! Sorry if it doesnt.

Best regards,
Yang.
YangTeng   
Jul 24, 2012
Graduate / (rural management from IRMA) - why teach for india [7]

Sorry, but what were you trying to imply? I am not very good in English but your second paragraph do need serious rephasing. I do not understand what you trying to say. Is it possible for you to list out the main points for your essay so i could try to rephase it for you.
YangTeng   
Apr 7, 2012
Writing Feedback / "Education is the key to success" discuss your view about this. [3]

Good day there, this essay was one of my school assignments, i would really appreciate any help or advise about my mistakes made in this essay, especially my grammar. Thank you very much :)

What is the definition of success? Some define success as the acquisition of wealth: to some others, it is the accomplishment of the goal aimed at. And how does education becomes the key to success? In today`s modern and competitive society, it is undeniable that we must equip ourselves with plenty of knowledge and skills in order to shine and to be successful in life. Many opine that the aforementioned aspects are mostly obtained through learning in academic institutions. I do agree with the opinion that education is the key to success. Nevertheless, I feel that one can also become successful without education.

First and foremost, it is certainly true that education is of paramount importance for people intending to join certain professions such as doctor, engineer and lawyer. With proper training and knowledge, it would be impossible for them to perform their best in their careers, not to mention to be successful in the field of area. Education can equip one to the fullest extent possible of knowledge related to his or her field of career, adequately equipped him or her with the necessary knowledge allows one to perform better than the rest and make them more successful than the rest. Hence, education is the key to success in the certain area of careers.

The characters and the qualities of a person also affects one`s ability to be successful. Even if they are equipped with the necessary knowledge and skills to be successful in their professions, without the correct mindset, they will not be able to overcome obstacles and persevere to the end. Making them unsuccessful in reaching their goals. Educations in schools or institutions help to inculcate the desirable qualities into individuals for them to become successful in life. Thus, education helps in the formation of the character with desirable qualities to become successful.

However, if we take a look from another perspective of success - the acquisition of wealth, some of the world richest and successful men were in fact school drop-outs. Some of the notable successful school drop outs were Steve jobs and Bill gates. Steve Jobs was the lead mind behind one of the most successful company in the world- Apple, never graduated from college, or even gets close to that. Bill Gates is the second wealthiest man on the planet, chairman of one of the most successful corporations- Microsoft, was in fact a university drops out. This proves that education may not be necessary as the key to success.

In addition, people with natural talents are also most likely to excel in their life. This is especially true in sectors like entertainment and sports. Education cannot teach how one should be funny or humorous, but it is an innate quality that one is born with. One example is Jacky Wu, currently ranked as one of the most popular and richest entertainers in Taiwan, known worldwide for his quick witted humor and open fire talks. Hence, it is evident that individuals born with talents have a better chance to be more successful.

In conclusion, it is indeed true that education is the key to success. But, it would be wrong to say that one`s success completely depends on the education he or she receives. Natural talent and hard work also contribute to their success.
YangTeng   
Apr 6, 2012
Writing Feedback / IELTS: Citizen's responsibilities [5]

Morning there. Perhaps adding some examples to each points will make your essay more convincing. Such as when you are mentioning about that tax is a source of income for a country, you can add a example to further support your point. One good example will be Singapore. Small countries such as Singapore has no natural resources such as oil, and due to the limited land space, argiculture would be almost impossible. Hence, the only source of revenue for the country would be the taxes collected from its citizens.

And about the other responsibilites, perhaps you could add this individuals social responsibility. One should keep his country clean by not being a litter bug. Or one should not be completely reliant on the government for healthcare( You can bring in Britain if you do know about the Nation Healthcare Scheme and the possible problems it might cause ).

I hope it helps :)
YangTeng   
Feb 17, 2012
Writing Feedback / Are the youths of today irresponsible? [4]

This is the first time i wrote a arguementative essay, any feedbacks on how to improve the essay?

Many say that the Youths of today are irresponsible. What have they done to deserve such remark? This view mertis consideration and it is debatable.

Youth is a period where young men and women are filled with exuberance, curiousity and the thirst to seek out excitment and fun. Such abullient attitude by the youths is often looked down by their conservative elders, who always criticise the behaviour displayed by the youths as irresponsible. Also, the lack of discipline in youths is conspicuous, as youths chafe at any restrainment that will hinder their search for excitements and new experiences. Many of them have tried smoking,drugs or drinking initially to taste the experience. However, some unconsciously became addicted to it, ending up as heavy smokers, acoholics or drug-addicts, which ultimately ruined their future prospects of good life. This ill-disciplined behaviour illustrated by the youths leads to the compelling criticism of the youths being irresponsible.

However, let us also not to forget it is only the negligible number of youths that fall under this category, most of them are obedient, disciplined and hardworking young people who are willing to work for the better. Talking about responsibility, adults are far from being responsible. Crimes are committed more by the adults than the youths. Bank robbery, serial homicide and raping, were all done by adults instead of youths. Hence it is unjust to generalise that only youths are irresponsible.

Whats really contributed to this uprising criticism of youths is their ideology differences from the adults and elders. The idealistic attitude of the youths contradicts their conservative seniors. The idealism of youths want changes and improvement in their lives, whereas the elders reject changes and prefer to remain in the same situation which they are comfortable with.

The idealism of the youths has been always the catalyst for the improvement of mankind. It was due to the idealism of many young doctors that new medicine are constantly created to save more lives. If they were to become conservative and refuse to change and improve upon themselves, there would not be any medicial advancement.

Hence, it is absurd to generalise all youths as irresponsible by the seniors due to a negligable handful of them. Certainly, not all youths are irresponsible.
YangTeng   
Feb 17, 2012
Dissertations / Thesis paper on translation in famous works, confused about a topic [16]

The term "translation" usually refers to the interpretation of one language to another. But how does this occurs? How does the first English-Chinese dictionary came about? It was all due to globalisation. Globalisation link people from different parts of the world together to do trading of materials and knowledge. They cant do this without communication , and the language barrier hinder this process. This is where translation come in handy, to overcome this barrier.

This is just my basic idea about translation, not really sure about it. And pardon me for those grammer mistakes i made. Maybe you can further elaborate the positive effects that translation bring to mankind. Or perhaps some consequences. I hope this helps :)
YangTeng   
Feb 12, 2012
Undergraduate / 'My brother's decision' - With independence comes increased responsibility [4]

At young ages, we as children were taken care fully of by our parents, we became our parents responsibility. When we grow older and matured, we became independent, and the responsibility of taking our welfare no longer falls on to the shoulder of our parents, but ourselves. As we grow older, so does our parents . Hence it is our responsibility to take care of them when they grow older.

biggdog523, what is your question? It is about grammer mistakes or asking opinions on how to further improve this essays?
YangTeng   
Feb 12, 2012
Writing Feedback / Write about an occasion when your arrogance caused you to make a wrong decision. [2]

Good day! I just written one essay and can your help me correct my mistakes? Or any ideas i could improve on it. :) Thanks!

During the years in mid-school , i joined the school`s swimming club as a way to keep myself fit and healthy. My innate swimming talent was unravel and nurtured by my coach. Since then , swimming has became something that i cant imagine living without it, it has became part of me . Soon within a few years , i climb to the top of the food chain in the swimming club , winning numerous competition and became the best swimmer in the school . At the same time , unconsciously , a sense of arrogance and conceit bulit inside me.

It was during the summer in the last year of mid-school . Decided to have a class picnic , we went to the river behind the school as our place of destination for its beauty nature scenary. The once crystal-clear river has became murky due to the downpour the day before , also the river raised and became very rapid. Somewhere during the conversation while having picnic, i started bragging about my swimming achievements and claiming that i could swim across the fearsome river with ease.

My classmate being irritated by my boasting, challenged me to swim across the river. Being challenged, my competitive nature and arrogance wouldnt allow me to back off despite knowing consciously the vicissitude of such a swim across a river in such condition. With my head blurred by conceit, i persisted on.

Just before the race, my classmate withdraw out as he was too afraid to swim. I laughed at him for being too useless as i prepare to swim regardless of the warnings given by other classmates about the perilous swim across the repid river. My egoism wouldnt allow me to admit defeat, especially infront of the public. Armed with only a pair of trousers , i dove into the river. Instantly i knew i have made a dire decision to attempt such a swim, the current of the river was way beyond my capability. In a blink of an eye, i was suck under the water by the underwater current. As my effort to reach the surface seems futile , death was inevitable.

As my vision began to become blury and white ,memories flashes in my mind , all those memories since i was young till today screen across my mind , one of the memory during my childhood surfaces vivdly. It was during 3 years old, together with my family, we went for a swim at the neighbour swimming complex. With no knowledge at all about swimming and assuming that this is just a very huge bathtube, i jumped into the swimming pool to realise this isnt a bathtube. Strungling in the water for air and close to drowning , a hand from the surface reaches down and grabbed my hand and pulled me up. Afterwards i fell unconscious.

If it wasnt for my brother again , my near death escape wouldnt be possible. This close encounter with death has thought me a very important lesson in life, i will never be arrogant againt and act irrationally.
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