Writing Feedback / Why Golf is my favorite Sport? [3]

Thanks in advance for any one who will proof read or correct my essay. Please answer your opinions ASAP, I will be posting my exam tomorrow.

Write a composition of three to five paragraphs long. it should contain an introduction, body and conclusion.
I chose to write about explaining why a certain sport is your favorite.

Golf is my favorite sport, simply because I feel that I can reach my target when practicing in driving range and swinging the ball to higher distances, once I swing the ball I fell that all my stress is gone and I can focus in what I want to do. I became accustomed to golf four months ago when I got the opportunity to work in a golf academy as an English translator for one of the Professional instructors. He often explained how to swing before hitting the ball for beginners, and out of curiosity, I started searching and asking more about golf and its rules and the more I know about it the more I get passionate to play it.

What I got to know is that golf is different than other sports, First of all the player has to consider/ care about the ways he stands and how to swing his club or iron, and winning or losing the games depends on strategy. Secondly, it is one of the few ball games that does not require a standardized playing area, Instead, the game is played on golf "courses", each of which features a unique design, although courses typically consist of either nine or 18 holes. Golf is defined, in the rules of golf, as "playing a ball with a club from the teeing ground into the hole by a stroke or successive strokes in accordance with the Rules."

The main materials used to play the game is to use golf clubs. The game of golf is played with a golf ball and a set of golf clubs. Several types of clubs are used to play a golf course, depending on distance and situational requirements. A player may use no more than 14 different golf clubs during a golf tournament. A set of golf clubs consists of woods which are designed for long-distance strokes. The 1-wood is called a driver, and irons with varying shaft lengths and clubface angles and are designed for approaches to the green, plus a putter which is designed to roll the ball to enter the hole an finish the game.

I also observed that golf can be also relaxing game to anyone who want to spend and enjoy their leisure time putting the ball or simply enjoy the fresh air in the beautiful golf cources. Anyone can merely walk around a golf course and hit a golf ball. A person doesn't have to know the names or numbers of the clubs, or their proper uses. It isn't even necessary to know the rules of the game. But if someone wishes to play with those who have learned the rules of golf and who know how to use each club. Then that person follows their example. Golf for those who doesn't know it, might not seem exciting to watch, but if you are a competitor, you will find watching tournaments and observing the game an interesting thing.

In conclusion, Golf is a enjoyable and relaxing game, but it can also be expensive. One way golfers can save money is by assembling their own golf clubs and take good care about it to last for a life time, I am determined now to learn and practice golf and be an amateur or perhaps professional player, and my target will be enjoying the game and participate in golf tournaments and own a full set golf bag of Callaway brand.

Writing Feedback / Education, The world's most powerful tool [7]

Thanks in advance for any one who will read and comment to my first essay in this great website.

Choose a topic from your personal knowledge and experience. Remember that you must utilize your first-hand experience to prove your authority to write on a topic.

Write a total of 750 to 2,500 words on your topic.

What is the world's most powerful tool that makes a great difference in its total development? Without hesitation the wise and accurate answer will be this: Education.

My personal experience with education was really challenging, especially like many students, around the world, face a financial obstacle. This obstacle made many people stop developing themselves, but I decided to choose the right path, which is simply to educate myself by making the right decision, which is joining the Penn Foster distance learning program. As a high school final 12th grade dropout, I was forced to leave my regular high school. I studied my decision and its pros and cons carefully . And I felt sure that I made the right decision.

Like the example of one of the world's most effective and successful personalities, Steve Jobs, who on his freshman six months college, dropped out for logical reasons and never regretted his decision. I chose to drop out when my final year of graduation was at very critical stage of my life. Either I would have chose to study in Ethiopia which probably would have been in a mostly rural area and leave my family who needed me for financial support. or continue to search for a better chance and opportunity and learn new experience and accepting new challenges like working and studying at the same time.My decision gave me positive results like having time and pace to learn on my own as well as learn Korean and Spanish languages and continually develop myself as well as earn money by working.

In the year of 2011, I experienced how to be teacher by having a full time job as a Kindergarten teacher, I worked also after noon classes tutor, for sure I faced lots of difficulties, but as I was teaching the children every day and feed their mind with new knowledge and develop their skills as well as get appreciated by their parents, I kept my self learning and struggling to study and complete my online courses and started learning Korean language every Wednesday on their embassy, as I was following the proverb that says: slow and steady wins the race, and other that says: if you want your dreams come true, don't sleep. I kept those and many other positive quotes and proverbs on my mind as I was working and trying to catch up and study, there were days and nights passing and I was feeling heavy and burdened by the new responsibilities and the at the same time holding myself to my ultimate goal and dream which is completing my courses and earning a diploma and enter to College and build new skills like learning and maintaining Korean Language.

By the hard work that year, I was able to pay Penn Foster tuition and have all my books shipped right away, I was so determined to graduate that year after completion of learning Korean language and graduating level 1, I studied well on three months summer vacation, I was every day assured that I am taking the right steps towards graduation. But as the school year started and I got an offer from the school I was working, I got another job offer to working on a company, I decided to join the company as a trainer for three months and work as an organizer for an exhibition ,thinking that the change of career will have a positive impact, and getting attracted by learning Spanish language free of charge in their training center, I was so overwhelmed that I, without planning, kept postponing my Penn Foster courses and promised myself that I will continue after I get full trained at my current job, of course that was very bad promise and was very negative result as the training with that company was nothing but an exhausting and overload work that proved nothing and I didn't get any certificate that proves I learned Spanish as they were not honest with their miss-management.

I felt very sorry for the time and energy that I lost working and believing in the company promises of promotion and sponsoring, but that also gave me the importance of education and that there is nothing better than graduation and earning my Diploma, as this promise is not fake and that I would be able to get Spanish as an elective at the end my online courses, through educating myself and determining to build my skills, I would reach my goal, learning from my mistakes, I made a new promise that no matter what it is, I will earn my diploma, but the need for getting job was still bothering me, I was in need for financial resource, my aunt advised me to work as a part time teacher, I was considering that but a new opportunity and a new challenge came.

On January, 2012. I got a job offer to work for Korean Company, their sector was golf sport business , I got very excited as I would be working as an administrator in a golf course and be able to learn a total new and different sport, as well as practice building my Korean language with their community, though after two months work, the business was not good and the company closed, I am still learning golf and get my stress out, during these two months I didn't repeat the mistake of ignoring my courses, I kept my self learning and studying and realized that I should avoid the idea of working as a full time employee.

Recently, I participated on Higher Education Exhibition and Conference, as one of Korean class student, I represented Korean University, there were around 400 University around the world, I saw every one seeking the dream of completing their education by earning bachelors, masters or PhDs. I gained a great four days experience and earned good money. Now I am determined not only mentally, but by having good and suitable circumstances of studying and completing my courses systematically as I am free of Job responsibilities and working only twice a week for my Taekwondo Korean Master by helping his kids with their English and take Taekwondo lessons. As well as practicing golf once a week.

In a short, sometimes in life, people have to make decisions that might look long and curvy, but never take steps back and regret or give up and always keep going and search for opportunities that opens a gate for brighter future. And never forget that this comes only through planning and make priorities comes first like education and earning a High school Diploma.

Writing Feedback / 'Golf Academy office' - Wonderful Morning essay [5]

I have written this essay, and i would like to know if the grammatical and usage is good or not.

"What a wonderful morning, that's when my sister and I started on the first week day, but it was unusually full of un expected events, anyway it ended up well. And that exactly what happened.

The first thing first when we enter to the Golf Academy office, we greeted everyone, and we brought the cake that I made before. We started to organize our daily task, checking our email etc, meanwhile, while we were waiting for the new task, we saw our manager busy that he didn't gave us specific task to do usual. We noticed that everyone was so quite, and that was not usual quietness, we felt that something behind this silence, after launch everyone started to have their golf clubs and started practicing as usual.

The second thing something exciting happened, that's was one of the unexpected things that happened through the day. My director wanted to have a horse riding lesson which is not far from our golf course, at the moment an idea struck to my mind, why don't I go for a lesson too since there was no much work to do and I requested from her to suggest to my manager to allow me to go for a lesson. After refusing, he agreed to let me go considering that I usually make his favorite coffee when he request. Since she requested from my manager to let me keep her accompany for a horse riding , I thought it would be nice to suggest her to borrow my horse riding shoes, since she don't have one. She got excited about the idea then we went on our way to the stable.

On our way to horse ridding stable, we stopped by a villa which is our current residence and I took my horse riding shoes, and on way there were stairs , and all of sudden I split on my knee and thankfully I didn't get injured. We went to the horse riding and it was my second lesson. Before that we prayed Asr prayers while my director was taking her lesson. After that I was my turn and I got my shoes back, it was a bit hard to ride a horse since the horse was different from the first I rode. This time the horse I rode name was 'Philip', the typical horse that I was dreaming for, black and very strong, but since I didn't try it before, it was little bit difficult for me, but soon I have done with my lesson, I rode it very well.

We came back to villa, and all of sudden our manager decided not to cook, because usually he cook for all of us, so we tried to make some Korean food, with his instructions finally we did a good meal, and everyone was satisfied, after dinner we got some coffee with the cake I made.

Our day was a bit cloudy day, we thought at any moment it is going to rain, as a result, we saw a lot of thunder, and then came a heavy rain, it was awesome, and then we went back to office and we used internet for a while, as we were enjoying the sound and the smell of the rain."