Writing Feedback / IELTS;Who should be responsible for our old people? [3]

I am preparing for ielts exam,so i hope that someone may help me to check my essay. Thank you so much and have a nice day, all guys.

Topic: In many countries, when someone gets old, they often go to live in a house with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes governments pay for this care. Who should be responsible for our old people? Use specific reasons and details to explain your choice.

Retirement homes appear to be the intriguing place for seniors in several develop countries like America, Australia, Britain, to name but a few, and this is sometimes at the expense of the government. Up till now, this issue has aroused a wide range of considerable debates. Some viewers believe that the expenditure incurred on this should be born by the government. However, in my view, the responsibilities should belong to young people in the families.

Seniors are the young's parents who bring children up, so they deserve to be paid back in appropriate manner. In fact, caring for the aged is the natural rule that every children must take because as we are infants, those are our parents who spent and sacrificed their lives for the betterment and the upbringing of them. They give us love, knowledge and they teach us the first thing of the new world. Hence, it is obvious that the elderly should stay with young people.

In addition, senior citizens are able to help their children in looking after grandchildren and doing housework. Albeit being old in age, their health is still high-quality and the brain also is astounding. In contrary, the youthful are not familiar with those advantages, they put their parents into old folks' house. Afterward, they take someone else who is so-called baby-sitter into their home. Naturally, they must to pay expenditure for them.

Briefly, the families should take the responsibility to oversee old people. In this way, we are not only keeping them happy and satisfied but also teaching our young ones some good moral values.

Writing Feedback / IELTS practice - cause and effect essay; "Television at its worst" [3]

Hi guys, i prepare to take part in ielts exams, so i write this essay to practice and with the hope that everyone will help to comment on it. Thank you so much!

In the past, television is a luxurious item to a number of families; however, it gradually becomes popular nowadays because it does not cost an arm and a leg any more as before, so most of the homes have already accessed to it. According to scientists, watching TV has nothing benefit for people, particularly for children. They also assert that watching too much TV often does have negative effects on youngsters.

The first effect is children turn to be lazier in view of watching TV exceedingly. For example, it is time for children to learn the lesson, but the exciting film is so appealed them that they are not able to cease watching to give attention to learning. Scientists also show that children's brain does not work when watching TV but passively receive information and images from it. Consequently, they are lazy in thinking and unlikely to generate creativeness.

Another impact of watching TV is healthy problems like increasing obesity and ruining their eyes. A case in point is sitting for long hours in front of the TV screen will make the body do not move and decrease the metabolism, leading to obesity. In addition, sitting nearly TV screen is a consequence of eye diseases such as short-sighted, long-sighted, astigmatism, to name but a few. Researchers indicate that television emits blue light that also produced by the sun. The wavelength of light produced is 400-500 nm, potentially triggering the formation of free radical and injuring the photochemistry in the retina of children eyes.

Finally, TV is the reason for having difficulty distinguishing between what is real and what is not. It is a common observation that children have imitation of acting as characters on TV show. Take " chuyen la Vietnam" as an instance, a man strike himself a brick on his head, then, on account of curiosity, kids emulate the actor after watching that show ; because of this an accident happens

In short, TV has tremendous potentiality as a power means of mass communication; whereas, it is obvious that TV has bad impact on children in private and on people in general. Therefore, parents should help children to avoid it by progressively reducing the time of watching TV