Writing Feedback / Ielts writing task 2: A cap on citizens' salary or not? [3]

enormous salaries of individuals

In some countries, a small number of people earn extremely high salaries. Some people believe that this is good for the country, but others think that governments should not allow salaries above a certain level. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is true that in several nations there is a minority of people who can achieve a far greater size of salary. While some people argue that this can bring about numerous benefits to a country, others think that a restriction should be imposed on the salary level by the governments.

On the one hand, it can be argued that the situation in which a few can earn extremely high salaries can benefit a country. Since the high pay is associated with sustained efforts and perseverance, which promotes the idea that only by working hard can you attain what you want in life. This, therefore, drives all people within a country to push themselves hard , creates values and make their greatest contributions to their countries. For example, people in America all know a term called " American Dream" and they all exercise a high working spirit to reach their own dreams. This , as a result, shapes the dynamic working attitudes among American and it is their collective efforts that contribute to the leading economic status of the U.S in the world.

On the other hand, governments should control the size of salary to some degree for some good reasons. Although the policy of applying performance-related salary seems to be reasonable, it might lead to wealth inequality in a long run. In some developed countries, the government still continues to face high poverty rates and this is because governments' budget has already been allocated to the small segment of population. Therefore, by putting a cap on people's salaries, they can create more job opportunies for ignored citizens and thus, combat rising unemployment rates. By doing this, government can ensure a healthier and more sustainable economy growth and the well-being of all citizens.

In conlusion, even though the outlook of giving advantages to a few in society appears promising, I believe that governments should impose a limit on salaries for more sustainable developments.

(Linh, 322 words)

P.S. I would really appreciate your comments on my essay. Thanks a lot in advance.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing task 2: Public funds on the arts? Is the government wasting money? [5]

money on the arts

Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extend do you agree with this view?

The importance of art is usually belittled in regards to its contribution to the growth of countries across the world. While I agree that in some countries where citizens face poverty or adversity in healthcare and education, the money should be reserved for these services, the countries with secured economic situation should, however, invest in the art projects and gain benefits from the policy.

It is more practical for less developed countries to invest in the servies that are most needed. Not all countries in the world can provide their citizens with enough basic necessities in life. Some of which are even suffering from wars and severe life conditions. Therefore, the governments should adopt a more pragmatic resource allocation scheme by giving out food, shelter and education opportunities to their people. By doing this, they can make sure their citizens at least survive and live somehow comfortable lives before they can reach other bigger goals in life. If the government overlook their real difficult situations and keep investing in art, this would leave the burden on the citizens' shoulders rather than help them.

However, some countries with more developed economy which can secure life of all their citizens should consider allocating its budget in arts. Arts in general can promote physical and mental well-beings of individuals and this can only be achieved after physiological needs are fulfilled, which means people are not starved and fully sheltered . A good piece of music or a vivid painting can usually uplift people's moods and tend to boost workers's productivity and serves as a means to unwind better than any other alternatives. Therefore, the money granted to art projects, would no doubt do wonders on citizens' overall well-being, which in turn benefits the society as a whole.

In conclusion, it depends on the stability and security of wealth in each nation that they should make investment in arts a priority.
(Linh, 317 words)

P.S I would highly appreciate comments on my writing. It seems like my second paragraph has not been well developed. Any suggestions on how to improve it will be sincerely welcomed.