Essays / Should essays have titles? [7]

When we are able to upload the document, should the essays have titles?

Undergraduate / Brown Supplement - Physics [5]

What is an academic experience, project, class or book that has influenced or inspired you?

As light passes through a transparent material, it bends to a new orientation because of differing indices of refraction. This is only one of the many things I have learned in the most interesting class I have taken thus far - physics. Physics has opened my eyes to the world. In class, we do controlled experiments and work on problems with pen and paper, but once we step out of the classroom, we see what we have been learning firsthand.

Before I took physics, I would stand in awe of sunsets. The fusions of colors are beautiful, and I could not understand how it could be created naturally. Now, I know that it is a simple atmospheric refraction that separates the light into its majestic colors. One may say that because it is a simple process, some of the beauty is taken away. I believe it to be the opposite. Possessing knowledge is beautiful, so naturally understanding explanations are as well.

Such understanding is what I seek in high school, college and beyond, and taking physics has given me a little piece of that understanding.

Does anyone have any tips on how I can improve it? I need to expand it as well. Anything that you think needs elaboration or could be added?

Thanks

Undergraduate / Making best of a bad situation; Yale Supplement - Divorce [4]

You have already told us about yourself in the Common Application, with its list of activities, the Short Answer, and the Personal Essay. While we leave the topic of your second essay entirely up to you, try telling us something about yourself that you believe we cannot learn elsewhere in your application. Please limit yourself to fewer than 500 words.

For as long as humans have roamed the Earth, they have depended on each other for survival. Families in particular have had the tightest bonds and have normally looked out for each other's safety. However, in this day and age, divorce rates are skyrocketing and families are being permanently split apart. I know this firsthand as my parents have lived over 500 miles away from each other for more than 13 years. From age four until age thirteen, I lived with my mother in the Los Angeles area, taking in what I could from her parenting. After, I moved to Marin to learn a different set of ideals from my father. As I have not been able to rely on my parents for a bipartisan approach to all of the problems I have faced in my life thus far, I have become much more independent and self-motivated than I would have been with my parents still together and have been able to communicate my skills with others.

My younger brother has followed the same path as I have in terms of parent swapping and has had a great deal of success in high school and life in the process. While I accredit much of his success to our parents, he has more often looked to me for guidance than them. My experiences in high school have given me the tools not only necessary to learn, but also to teach. My brother understands this well, and takes advantage of my knowledge at any opportunity. As he experiences very similar issues as he ages, he can connect to me much more than our parents. I love and wish to help him in any way possible so, it has been necessary for me to step up as leader and direct him in the right path.

Many of my friends have taken their parent's divorce wrongly and often have trust issues with their peers. They frequently associate the divorce with themselves and become introverted, confiding in only themselves with matters which would be easily resolved with little assistance. Because I was so young when my parents got divorced, I have had many years to understand the implications of the divorce and that it was out of my control. Some would say that parents who separate are erratic and have poor judgment, as they should have spent more time on such a life changing decision. I, however, understand that feelings and situations change over time and am affected by my parents' divorce in a completely different way as a result.

While I cannot say that I recommend divorces, I can say that with an open mindset one can make the best of a bad situation. Reflecting on my parents' divorce, I have definitely learned a few extremely important life skills as a result. While maintaining the same trust in others that many of my friends have, I have become very self-reliant and driven. Still, I am able to differentiate between when I can grow as a student or person in general by completing tasks on my own and when I legitimately need help. I understand that people often make mistakes and am more careful because of my understanding.

It is a little too long, so if anyone has any tips on something I should take out or amend, it would be greatly appreciated!

Thanks!

Danny

Undergraduate / 'Efficient solar cell' - Common App (Work Experience, the Carnegie Project) [10]

In the space provided below, please elaborate on one of your activities (extracurricular, personal activities, or work experience)(150 words or fewer).

I spent the past summer interning at Stanford University, working for Professor Prinz on the Carnegie Project. The primary goal of this project is to produce a more efficient solar cell using the most advanced technology of our time. From the beginning, my work captivated me. I designed and fabricated the insulation for a scanning device used to measure quantum dots of material. While I played only a small role compared to the larger scheme of the project, being part of something potentially world-changing felt incredible. I was helping to change the world and inspired to continue to do so.

I know its a little short and was wondering if anyone had any advice on how to extend it or correct anything grammatically.

Thanks.

Danny

Undergraduate / Influential Novel (academic exprience essay) [3]

What is an academic experience, project, class or book that has influenced or inspired you?

The most influential book that I have read is Lord of the Flies by William Golding. The novel is about a group of boys who find themselves stranded on a tropical island without any adult supervision or protection. Because of their ingrained need for order, they quickly choose a leader and assign jobs. They enjoy the lack of rules and boundaries. Soon, however, the boys stray from their civilized ideals and become increasingly savage. I don't want to ruin the novel, but in the end, one of the boys must run for his life from a mob in order to save himself. Lord of the Flies has taught me of the powers of mob mentality and the importance of a strict set of laws and guidelines. It has also taught me to always stand up for what I believe in.

Once the boys realized that their actions would go unpunished, no matter how savage, they did not have to think before acting. This has shown me the importance of laws in society. Laws are not only necessary for maintaining order, but also for rational thinking.

When the boys formed a mob and singled out another boy, some of the mob felt uncomfortable, but, because of the extreme pressure of the mob, went along with the plan. Once I finished the novel and saw the awful side effects of mob mentality and peer pressure, I have stood up for myself and others in such situations. As in many high schools throughout the country, there is a substantial drug abuse problem amongst students. When asked to partake, I have no problem saying "no." While it is partly because I know of the long term effects of drugs, I have been guided by the anti-mob mentality and peer pressure message sent by Lord of the Flies.

Undergraduate / We live in a world of obstacles. ;Personal Statement, Innovation [4]

We live in a world of obstacles. Fortunately, amidst the energy crisis and epidemics worldwide, new technologies arise to combat what would be the downfalls of society. They are inspired by innovators, those with the intelligence and passion to change the world for the better. They are avid learners, and apply their knowledge to solving the world's problems. I hope that in the future I will use the knowledge I acquire through my studies to become an innovator and pursue such change.

Sophomore year, I was posed with a problem. I could not think of a topic for my Honors Integrated Science project that would later be entered into the Marin County Science Fair. At the time, I found magnetic bullet trains fascinating and wanted to incorporate magnets into my experiment. My father suggested that I use a spinning top, so I decided to combine the two ideas. My experiment tested the effects of magnetism on the motion of a spinning top. My scientific method and conclusions earned my project the grand prize.

This past year in AP Biology, our coursework covered bacteria and viruses. While studying the AIDS virus, we learned that the most effective AIDS medication reduces the virus' ability to replicate by targeting an enzyme that only retroviruses have - reverse transcriptase. Scientists have analyzed the reverse transcriptase enzyme's structure and synthetically created an inhibitor for it, thus decreasing the replication rate. My eyes lit up with this understanding. Scientists combined different sciences - biology and engineering - to create a result that would improve our world. I wanted to be a part of something similar, a project that could dramatically enhance people's lives.

I spent the past summer interning at Stanford University, working for Professor Prinz on the Carnegie Project. The primary goal of this project is to produce a more efficient solar cell using the most advanced technology of our time. From the beginning, my work captivated me. I designed and fabricated the insulation for a scanning device used to measure quantum dots of material. Each day, I would enter the lab earlier and leave later, but my adviser would always be at work before I arrived and after I left. He was an innovator with the project's goal in his sights and would not stray from the path to completion. While I played only a small role, being part of a potentially world-changing project felt incredible. I was helping to change the world and inspired to continue to do so.

Undergraduate / Why Columbia? (the amazing research facilities) [6]

Please tell us what you find most appealing about Columbia and why:

I became interested in Columbia when I was emailed about the amazing research facilities. As I continued on the body of the email, I became aware of the strong bonds that form between students and professors at Columbia. These two things are what I am most interested in a university. Advancements in technology are constantly being made due to the immense amount of research being done. I have succeeded in high school due to self-motivation and support from my parents and teachers. At Columbia, I know I can succeed because of similar support.

How does that sound?

Essays / Listing and Describing activities - using incomplete sentences? [6]

List and describe your activities, including jobs, during the past two summers: Please note, DO NOT use hard returns in your responses.

It allows for 300 characters maximum. Are incomplete sentences ok?

Undergraduate / Personal Statement, (lunch, active in sports) [3]

I had never eaten lunch by myself until the first day of school, freshman year. That was to become a routine that would continue for weeks, until I became more familiar with those who I would soon call my friends. Ten days before the start of school I had moved to Mill Valley to live with my father, and I was nervous. I did not know a soul in this strange place. I knew the transition would be tough, but I didn't think it would have as severe of an impact as it did. Despite the challenges I faced while transitioning to a new and different environment, my experiences have pushed me forward and made me a contributing member of my community.

I have always been active in sports. Through ten years of martial arts practice, I have learned that they provide a medium for making friends and developing teamwork and leadership skills. When the fall sports season rolled around, I set my sights on making the tennis team, or rather the Tamalpais High School tennis legacy. The team had won the league championships six out of the past ten years. There was no way I was good enough to begin with, but after months of practice, coaching and conditioning, I was ready. After five days of grueling try-outs, the captains released the roster. I made the team in the 16th of 16 spots. We had a great season and I knew I would continue on the team. The next year, we won league and came second in our sectional division. I was proud to receive my medal. When there were no medals left, three players remained empty-handed, one of whom was a senior. I stripped myself of my medal and placed it around his neck. Our coach drew me aside afterwards and told me that I would be a captain the next year, the first junior captain in over ten years.

My father has always said that the most important person in my life will be my brother. When I moved, not only did I lose a connection with a parent, I also lost a relationship with my brother. One of the hardest aspects of moving was being away from him. When he started at my school two years later, I knew he would face similar challenges as I had. Initially, as expected, he was not happy. After calming him down, I reminded him of my similar situation a few years earlier and how well it had turned out. Our parallel high school experiences have made us best friends. Whether it be sitting along side him while he does his homework or screaming at the top of my lungs on the sidelines at his soccer games, I do my best to propel him in the right direction.

In my junior year, I joined Link Crew, a club-like organization that helps ease freshmen's transition to high school. It has been extremely rewarding thus far. No one should have to deal with a difficult transition alone, especially one as impactful as beginning high school. My experience gave me a gift - insight that I would lack had I not overcome the obstacles that new students often face. During Freshman Orientation, an event put on by Link Crew, I had the opportunity to tell my story. I am proud to know that I have made life a little easier for the freshmen I helped usher into high school.

Is it too boring? Any criticism is greatly appreciated!

Thanks

Danny

Undergraduate / 'Lego blocks / Carnegie Project / Electrical Tech' - Brown Engineering Supplement [6]

Any tips on structure or grammar are greatly appreciated.

1. Many applicants to college are unsure about eventual majors. What factors led you to an interest in Engineering as a major in college and/or a post-undergraduate career?

2. What experiences beyond school work have broadened your interest in this field?

3. Brown offers programs in Biomedical, Chemical, Civil, Computer, Electrical, Materials, and Mechanical Engineering. Because there is a common core curriculum within Engineering, students need not select a specific area until their junior year. However, we are curious as to whether any particular program within Engineering presently appeals to you. Please discuss that choice if you have one.

1. My favorite childhood toys started out as mountains of Lego pieces, but would soon become intricate creations. I would build the most elaborate buildings and vehicles and then destroy them, only to start on a bigger and better project. Today, I have the same creative, engineering-based mindset. Nothing is perfect; everything can be altered for improvement, which is what I often recognize when I view my surroundings. Being the CEO of a software company, my father works with different types of engineers on a daily basis. He has frequently mentioned that they are the most intelligent of his employees. As I seeked to improve my creations as a child, I seek to improve myself today and strive to be the best I can be.

2. I spent the past summer interning at Stanford University, working for Professor Prinz on the Carnegie Project. The primary goal of this project is to produce a more efficient solar cell using the most advanced technology of our time. From the beginning, my work captivated me. I designed and fabricated the insulation for a scanning device used to measure quantum dots of material. I spent two weeks of my summer, sophomore year, at the National Student Leadership Conference with emphasis in engineering at UC Berkeley. There, I learned basic information about many fields of engineering, thus narrowing my search for a program in engineering that I find most interesting.

3. As of now, I am not certain as to which engineering program I will end up focusing on. While interning at Stanford, I was exposed to a combination of electrical and mechanical engineering, which fascinated me. Computers and other electrical/mechanical technologies are essential in daily life, and advancements are constantly being made. I want to not only have an understanding of my surroundings, but also be a part of the innovation.